Black November: A Turkey's Lament...

tommaseena
tommaseena Member Posts: 1,769
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop,

Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I had to know;

His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of ..... Black November;

"Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you'll be thick, where once you were thin,
And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin.

"And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
In'll burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head;

"Then she'll pluck out all your feathers so you're bald'n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink,

"And then comes the worst part" he said not bluffing,
"She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing".

Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,

And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked;

I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola,

And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes,

I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;

But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;

And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;

So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap;
I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap,

She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said "Christmas is coming..."

Comments

  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    ROFLMAO!
    ROFLMAO!
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    jnl said:

    ROFLMAO!
    ROFLMAO!

    Poor little turkey. It will
    Poor little turkey. It will be difficult to eat my turkey on Christmas Day. At least without laughing.
    Stef
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    fauxma said:

    Poor little turkey. It will
    Poor little turkey. It will be difficult to eat my turkey on Christmas Day. At least without laughing.
    Stef

    This is funny! And yes,
    This is funny! And yes, poor turkey. LOL
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    Gobble and Oink!
    Soooo funny! It sadly reminded me of the mean cat in the movie Babe when she cattily (?) said to Babe, "Pigs have no purpose"...except for eating, of course! Thanks for the laugh; I needed that one today! :-)

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • crselby
    crselby Member Posts: 441
    turkey poem
    What a hoot! I'm saving that to put into my Christmas cards today! Thanks!
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    crselby said:

    turkey poem
    What a hoot! I'm saving that to put into my Christmas cards today! Thanks!

    HA!

    HA!