Unless you've walked this walk
Comments
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I would say, NO, that is not
I would say, NO, that is not all what matters. I don't know how I'm going to feel within a few days. I have not had chemo, I opted not to, only RADs, and I am only 5 days into my RADs, I am fatigued, but I also had major hernia surgery on Oct 8th,I still have a lot of discomfort from it, even with taking Vicodin., so I could be tired from that. People just don't have a clue that just having cancer takes a toll on your emotions.I think only people who have had a dx of cancer has any idea of how we feel.0 -
friends.
I guess as hard as it is we should remember that they don,t have a clue unless they been their or are their.My family knows that Chemo week I don,y plan on anything other then recovering from my chemo treatment.Each time is different.The first treatment was hard for me.i had all kinds of side effects.The second one i thought went better but I had a horible unusual side effect 8days later.So don,t feel bad if they don,t understand.Just do what you need to get through it.by the way the little guy your holding is adorable.Take care.Love and prayers Pat.0 -
Thank you Pat, that is myppurdin said:friends.
I guess as hard as it is we should remember that they don,t have a clue unless they been their or are their.My family knows that Chemo week I don,y plan on anything other then recovering from my chemo treatment.Each time is different.The first treatment was hard for me.i had all kinds of side effects.The second one i thought went better but I had a horible unusual side effect 8days later.So don,t feel bad if they don,t understand.Just do what you need to get through it.by the way the little guy your holding is adorable.Take care.Love and prayers Pat.
Thank you Pat, that is my grandson Charlie.0 -
I attempt to educate...lol...
I say "yeah, today is a big high from the steroids to keep me from feeling sick. Unfortunately, day 3 I bottom out, and you won't see me on this day...but, trust me, I don't look well...BUT, I'm fighting the fight, and this, too, shall pass...day to day living is good, but preparing for what's coming (like taxes, and old age) are a MUST!"
Sadly, you are correct...until you go thru it, you just don't understand...I usually end with..."and, hopefully, you will never have to experience what I am going through!"
BIG hugs, Kathi0 -
Bite me
...oh, oops -- that's what I WANT to say...but don't! :-)
As you've all said, only people who have been through chemo or have been close, day-to-day support for someone going through chemo have a clue what it's like to be on the other side of that IV....I know I didn't have a clue, until I went through it.
To say "don't think about tomorrow" to someone who is planning for their next chemo treatment is completely absurd, but I think you have to focus on concrete, practical aspects if you want to educate someone. I would say something like:
"Well, I have to think about tomorrow and plan ahead, because I'm not physically able to take care of myself for several days after each chemo, so I need to make sure that I have food in the house, clean clothes, and prescriptions filled for the medication I'll need, as I won't be able to do any of that for myself from Tuesday through Thursday."
If that doesn't get the reality of your experience through to them...well, then I say go back to my "bite me" suggestion.
:-) Traci0 -
Another idea...TraciInLA said:Bite me
...oh, oops -- that's what I WANT to say...but don't! :-)
As you've all said, only people who have been through chemo or have been close, day-to-day support for someone going through chemo have a clue what it's like to be on the other side of that IV....I know I didn't have a clue, until I went through it.
To say "don't think about tomorrow" to someone who is planning for their next chemo treatment is completely absurd, but I think you have to focus on concrete, practical aspects if you want to educate someone. I would say something like:
"Well, I have to think about tomorrow and plan ahead, because I'm not physically able to take care of myself for several days after each chemo, so I need to make sure that I have food in the house, clean clothes, and prescriptions filled for the medication I'll need, as I won't be able to do any of that for myself from Tuesday through Thursday."
If that doesn't get the reality of your experience through to them...well, then I say go back to my "bite me" suggestion.
:-) Traci
Natly, I mentioned your post to my girlfriend (who was by my side every step during chemo, and really does understand what we go through). She offered a suggestion:
The day after your next chemo, call your friend, and tell him/her you need them to go to the store for you, to pick up Immodium, jell-o, soup, toilet paper, Senokot, Prilosec, prune juice, Claritin, plastic cutlery, and some movies to watch.
Tell them that you were so busy "living in the moment" that you didn't have time to do all this beforehand.
:-) Traci0 -
I agreeTraciInLA said:Another idea...
Natly, I mentioned your post to my girlfriend (who was by my side every step during chemo, and really does understand what we go through). She offered a suggestion:
The day after your next chemo, call your friend, and tell him/her you need them to go to the store for you, to pick up Immodium, jell-o, soup, toilet paper, Senokot, Prilosec, prune juice, Claritin, plastic cutlery, and some movies to watch.
Tell them that you were so busy "living in the moment" that you didn't have time to do all this beforehand.
:-) Traci
Unless they live through they can't understand. Yes, we all have been enjoying every moment of our life. As much as you prepare for Chemo it will be something new and challenging with each Chemo cycle. Unfortunately Chemo drugs will have cumulative effect and body gets weaker.
Ask directly for help.
Emotionally - tell them back off and wish that they would never have Chemo experience as you do.
Hugs0 -
Traci, I can't stop laughing!TraciInLA said:Another idea...
Natly, I mentioned your post to my girlfriend (who was by my side every step during chemo, and really does understand what we go through). She offered a suggestion:
The day after your next chemo, call your friend, and tell him/her you need them to go to the store for you, to pick up Immodium, jell-o, soup, toilet paper, Senokot, Prilosec, prune juice, Claritin, plastic cutlery, and some movies to watch.
Tell them that you were so busy "living in the moment" that you didn't have time to do all this beforehand.
:-) Traci
What a great answer! Of course that lumox still won't get it and who cares anyway? People just don't know wht to say so they say anything tht pop's in their heads I think. I don't bother talking to those types if I don't have to and when I do I don't mention anything about me, makes me happy that I don't have to listen to them and bite my tongue.
You're true friends understand and that's what really counts. But I love your sense of humor, I am still laughing. Only another chemo girl can truly understand all the things you just wrote! You have made my day!
Hugs and Luv, Judy :-)0 -
Traci I always love yourTraciInLA said:Another idea...
Natly, I mentioned your post to my girlfriend (who was by my side every step during chemo, and really does understand what we go through). She offered a suggestion:
The day after your next chemo, call your friend, and tell him/her you need them to go to the store for you, to pick up Immodium, jell-o, soup, toilet paper, Senokot, Prilosec, prune juice, Claritin, plastic cutlery, and some movies to watch.
Tell them that you were so busy "living in the moment" that you didn't have time to do all this beforehand.
:-) Traci
Traci I always love your suggestions. Funny as this sounds, I needed every item mentioned. YUCK0 -
Stay In the Moment
Natly, your friend evidentally doesn't get much done if she's always staying in the moment. (BTW, is that the name of a song?) People think they're giving good advice so I try to give them a little slack unless they get real stupid (which she might have done). Traci was right on with her suggestion. I'm sorry that chemo has such a ugly face and affects so many people with its horrible effects. Does chemo ever start off bad and get better at the next treatment? Seems like it gets worse for so many or stays about the same. I haven't even been told that I might have chemo but I dread it for myself and all of you. My mother was so sick for a couple of days every time, I just kept a bucket near her bed. I know, I know. Everyone tells me chemo is different now, doesn't make one so sick, but I think they're lying to me. I wish you better, my dear sister. Don't let those chemo bugs get you! (Now that sounds stupid too!) Forget I said that. Love to all of you!0 -
OH Traci that was goodSunrae said:Stay In the Moment
Natly, your friend evidentally doesn't get much done if she's always staying in the moment. (BTW, is that the name of a song?) People think they're giving good advice so I try to give them a little slack unless they get real stupid (which she might have done). Traci was right on with her suggestion. I'm sorry that chemo has such a ugly face and affects so many people with its horrible effects. Does chemo ever start off bad and get better at the next treatment? Seems like it gets worse for so many or stays about the same. I haven't even been told that I might have chemo but I dread it for myself and all of you. My mother was so sick for a couple of days every time, I just kept a bucket near her bed. I know, I know. Everyone tells me chemo is different now, doesn't make one so sick, but I think they're lying to me. I wish you better, my dear sister. Don't let those chemo bugs get you! (Now that sounds stupid too!) Forget I said that. Love to all of you!
OH Traci that was good0
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