It's over, my update

Kat11
Kat11 Member Posts: 1,931 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Read all the post's this morning and Thank you all for all the prayers.
I am doing ok I guess. My right arm hurts a lot. They said that some of the pain is caused by the position my arm was in durning surgery.I had the shakes most of the day yesterday,and I mean the shakes, whole body up to the teeth chatter.Thats gone today.The pain is not to bad. I have my little drain bag in tow. I am feeling depressed. I was so hoping for no node involvement. This is not the case. I really hoped to skate though this without chemo. I know most of you have been though this and I feel silly telling you this stuff when I know you all have been there done this. I so wanted to be different. Now I am scared again. I wait for the path results to find out how many are involved. Now I have to prepare myself for the next step. It takes me a few days to sometimes except whats happening. 1st being told - took 3 days of crying. 2nd - The chemo and treatment thing, I need a few days. Other than that sob story I just wrote. I am just feeling tired, have arm pain, boob not to bad but there. I guess it could be worse. Oh I did not tell you it was a lumpectomy, however I could wind up with the mastectomy after path report. Then I think I may have made the wrong decision. Lumpectomy vs mastectomy if I have to go though surgery again. Thank you all again, I don't know what I would do without you.
Kathy
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Comments

  • sunnygirl
    sunnygirl Member Posts: 57 Member
    Your update
    Kathy, So sorry you news wasn't what we all hope for. I went down that "slippery slope" in Dec 08 and Jan09--It's scary--brace yourself and do what you have to do to beat this thing into submission. One day at a time--ask lots of questions--lean on your support team. You will get through this--I did. I just had my last chemo yesterday after 4 AC's and 4 Taxols. man, that feels good. My prayers are with you for as easy a journey as possible. Hugs, Cheryl
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143
    Hang in there
    Kathy, I know you are depressed. And it doesn't help that you are recovering from surgery. Going through these things and facing more treatment is no small thing. You are certainly not being silly. We have all been there, you're right. So we know how frightened and down you feel. We have felt that way, too. One step at a time. First, take the time to recover from surgery. You will handle whatever comes your way in terms of treatment. Tons of good advice and support here for that. If I can do it, Kat, so can you. But right now, focus on getting better and stronger. You'll do fine.

    Mimi
  • Aortus
    Aortus Member Posts: 967
    It's silly to feel silly
    Kathy, I thank God that you are physically healing. Even with what Moopy had to endure with the chemo and waiting for radiation, the six days between her mastectomy and getting her pathology report were the worst part of the whole thing. We knew there was node involvement, and that lots of nodes were taken. The final count was 6 out of 15 positive. Believe it or not, we were happy that the number was only 6.

    The day we went in to get the report, Moopy had taken big time Xanax. The same day, her big sister in TN took Xanax to wait for Moopy's phone call. The next day, my sister in WI took Xanax, waited an hour for it to kick in, and called to see how Moopy did. Do you see a theme here? Please do whatever you need to in order to get through this time. Whatever your treatment plan turns out to be, I know you will be more than ready to fight the beast!

    Best,
    Joe
  • CR1954
    CR1954 Member Posts: 1,390 Member
    Awww Kat.....
    I'm very sorry that things didn't turn out as well as we all hoped. Hang in there girlfriend.
    The pain just seems to exacerbate the emotional issues, I know. And the fear is perfectly normal. Having said that, who wants to be in constant fear?!

    Many of us have had mastectomies and many of us have had lymph node involvement and chemo. Never great news. But believe me, it is all very survivable and very doable.
    We will be right there beside you, every step of the way. No matter what treatments you need.

    Ok, there's my pep talk. Now please know that I am thinking about you and praying for you and hoping that the rest of your news is better.

    Great big giant hugs for you..
    CR
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    Sorry to hear
    the bad news.First to hear you've got cancer,and then this...
    The ladies are right-one step at a time! And you can do this-God will give you the strength that you might not be able to find for yourself right away!
    We are right along with you with advice and support!!
    Love,Patty
  • CR1954
    CR1954 Member Posts: 1,390 Member
    Tried to.......
    Tried to PM you, but it says you don't accept private messages.

    So....just know that I will be with you all the way.

    CR
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    Aortus said:

    It's silly to feel silly
    Kathy, I thank God that you are physically healing. Even with what Moopy had to endure with the chemo and waiting for radiation, the six days between her mastectomy and getting her pathology report were the worst part of the whole thing. We knew there was node involvement, and that lots of nodes were taken. The final count was 6 out of 15 positive. Believe it or not, we were happy that the number was only 6.

    The day we went in to get the report, Moopy had taken big time Xanax. The same day, her big sister in TN took Xanax to wait for Moopy's phone call. The next day, my sister in WI took Xanax, waited an hour for it to kick in, and called to see how Moopy did. Do you see a theme here? Please do whatever you need to in order to get through this time. Whatever your treatment plan turns out to be, I know you will be more than ready to fight the beast!

    Best,
    Joe

    Theme?
    ....ummm...you have family in other states? (ha ha).
    Must be the xanax then :)
    Kathy, hang in there and just try to concentrate on your healing & rest right now. I haven't gone through my surgery yet and I am already in a panic that they will find it in my nodes. Right now I am waiting on appt. for PET?CT scan to check the rest of me. Its scary to think about and can drive you insane!!
    Aortus's has a point.......I call it my wonder drug (it stops me from all the "I wonder if...."). :) Pammy
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    BUT...you are able to write the next day...THIS IS GOOD!!!
    And, 3 years from now, after it is all over, you will be surprised at how long ago it was...and how much the memories fade...

    Hugs, Kathi
  • taleena
    taleena Member Posts: 1,612 Member
    Kathy... hang in there.. yes
    Kathy... hang in there.. yes your tired..it isn't just the physical aspect that drains us but the emotional rollercoaster ride can be literally exausting. Be gentle with yourself... be kind to yourself... and know that we are all here... we will be whatever you need...an encouraging word, a cheering section.. your own personal fan club...a shoulder to cry on... I don't think there is any "wrong" desision.. you did what you felt was best for you at the time.. and sometimes we don't have all of the information.. it's a painful waiting game. I too have chosen lumpectomy over masectomy... however after the node biopsy and lumpectomy that can all change... it's what I feel is best for me.. right now in this moment... You are beautiful.. you are strong.. you are a SURVIVOR...and when you forget any of that... we are all here to remind you..

    Prayers, love and hugs...

    ~T
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    HANG IN THERE and GOD
    HANG IN THERE and GOD BLESS..........
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    HANG IN THERE and GOD
    HANG IN THERE and GOD BLESS..........
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    Kathy


    Thank you for posting your news. I will be praying for you. And hope you have vey few pos. nodes. Don't be afraid to ask for pain meds..and anxiety meds. I still take ativan when I am anxious. I wish you all the best. Luv, Jackie
  • bfbear
    bfbear Member Posts: 380
    rjjj said:

    Kathy


    Thank you for posting your news. I will be praying for you. And hope you have vey few pos. nodes. Don't be afraid to ask for pain meds..and anxiety meds. I still take ativan when I am anxious. I wish you all the best. Luv, Jackie

    Hang in there
    Hey Kathy,

    Sorry you've been thrown another curve ball.
    Right now, just concentrate on healing and resting and drinking LOTS of water. And take your pain meds as needed.
    The next step is in your doctors' hands.
    With all the support and experience here, you'll do fine.

    With love and prayers,
    Debi
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    bfbear said:

    Hang in there
    Hey Kathy,

    Sorry you've been thrown another curve ball.
    Right now, just concentrate on healing and resting and drinking LOTS of water. And take your pain meds as needed.
    The next step is in your doctors' hands.
    With all the support and experience here, you'll do fine.

    With love and prayers,
    Debi

    Hey Kathy
    Sounds like you

    Hey Kathy
    Sounds like you are having a similar experience to mine..start with the lumpectomy, find a bad node, back for mastectomy....a very anxious time....but for me waiting out the first chemo was the worst...I had it yesterday and it wasn't so bad, not sick, no bad reactions, just drowsey....we'll make it through this together girlfriend...
    Dee
  • chickad52
    chickad52 Member Posts: 497
    WE CAN DO THIS
    Kathy,
    I was sorry to hear your news. I have stage 2a breast cancer. There is no primary tumor in the breast. The cancer cells went directly to the lymph node. I too have a long road ahead of me. I will start chemo on Monday morning. After treatments for 5 months, I will be having surgery. I know that you are down now after your surgery but you will get throught this as will I!! "WE CAN DO THIS". I will keep you in my prayers.
    God Bless,
    Diane
  • CR1954
    CR1954 Member Posts: 1,390 Member
    chickad52 said:

    WE CAN DO THIS
    Kathy,
    I was sorry to hear your news. I have stage 2a breast cancer. There is no primary tumor in the breast. The cancer cells went directly to the lymph node. I too have a long road ahead of me. I will start chemo on Monday morning. After treatments for 5 months, I will be having surgery. I know that you are down now after your surgery but you will get throught this as will I!! "WE CAN DO THIS". I will keep you in my prayers.
    God Bless,
    Diane

    Hi Diane.......
    Welcome to the board, although I'm sorry for your dx.

    Enjoy the fine people here, and feel free to ask questions, rant, encourage....or just laugh!

    CR
  • Kristin N
    Kristin N Member Posts: 1,968 Member
    Kat
    So sorry that your news wasn't what you wanted or expected. We are all praying for you and will continue. I am glad that the postings made you feel good. That was the purpose. Heal soon and let us know how things go with you. We care Kat and pray for you!
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    Of course we all hope for clean nodes...
    I totally understand your disappointment. Being scared is normal, and to be expected. I truly wish the news had been better for you. Although no one ever wants to endure chemo - it is doable. And, we'll all be here for you, to support and encourage.

    We travel this journey only one step at a time. Otherwise, it can be unbearably overwhelming.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    So good to see you posted
    So good to see you posted Kat. But, I am sorry about the chemo. But, you are strong and you

    will get thru it. Just let your doctors, your family and your friends, including us, help

    you thru this!
  • Jeanne D
    Jeanne D Member Posts: 1,867
    Kat
    I am so sorry that your news was not what not what you had hoped for..I am just so sorry.

    But Kat, you can get thru this. You are strong Kat and you can overcome this too. We will

    be here for you anytime, day or night to help. I know this is not what you had expected,

    but, you are surrounded with people that love you and that care for you and that will help

    you. And, NEVER feel silly about telling us anything, ok? Please take care of yourself Kat,

    rest, heal and keep us updated when you can. I continue to pray for you Kat! Love, Jeanne