I am 34-years old and newly diagnosed with stage IIa breast cancer (no nodes involved). As is the case for many young breast cancer patients, I am not ER positive. I am falling apart and keep thinking that the being ER negative is going to kill me. I had a lumpectomy with clean margins, and I start chemo on Friday -- I'm terrified of that as well. How does one go on? I keep thinking that I will not be around for much longer, and it's destroying any joy in life I might have. My poor husband is doing all he can to take care of me, but this has been the most difficult and lowest point in our lives. You guys seem to really know how to cope on this board. I just want to have some hope for my future, and I can't seem to muster that right now. How long does it take to start living again?