Bilateral Mastectomy- Help with Sister's recovery.

cwporter

In two weeks my sister is having a bilateral mastectomy and she has asked me to take care of her. I have no idea what to expect. Can someone please let me know what I can expect and what I do to make her recovery less stressful, less painful, less depressing, less anything.... I hate that she is going through this and I want to do anything I can do to help her. Any suggestions would be great.

jackiemanz

Hello CW,

I had my Bilateral last year at the age of 41. My husband took care of my drains for me and I needed help getting out of the bed for the first couple of days and I also needed help getting in and out of the bath tub. With me I am a strong minded person so asking for help was hard and depressing for me and I ended up slipping into a depressions so try to keep her mind busy that way she doesn't have time to think about what just happened. Cause she is going through H___ right now and it's not over yet. Oh and be patient with her if she snaps at ya.

Hugs,
Jackie

Skybuf

Hi there, glad your sister asked for help. My sister came to help me a few days following my mastectomy and is coming again for my bilateral one, when I see the dr next week. Just be there for her...listen to her and make sure she has plenty of water and juice to sip on. Talk to her and help with chores, she will recover better just knowing your there for her. The nurse will come in the morning and see to her incision and dress it and show you what to do. It dosen't take long to recover after surgery, just a bit shaky adn she will most likely have meds to help, God bless you both.

cabbott

I had only the one side removed, so I don't know how bad a bilateral could be. I didn't have nearly as many problems as I thought I would when I had a mastectomy. First of all,mine was day surgery. They said I'd be hungry and want to go out to eat. I just knew they were pulling my leg, but actually they were right and I ended up at Burger King so I could get home in time to kiss my son goodnight. (We made it too!) My arm was stiff and sore like an overworked muscle on the mastectomy side. I wasn't supposed to lift much and found that I knew right away how much was too much. It ouched when I tried to pull weeds or lift the gallon of milk the first week! It took about a month and a half before I could lift a laundry basket full of wet clothes, but I was hanging clothes the same week, perhaps a little more slowly than usual. I hated being limited and I hated not taking a bath. About a day or two after the operation, I realized I could wash my dirty hair in the kitchen sink with the sprayer hose. That made me feel so much better! The drains took some getting used to. I needed my husband's help for the first 24 hours, but then I managed to do it by myself. Sleeping was a chore because I could not get really comfortable in bed. I used pillows to get my arm in place and slept on my back--not my favorite position but I couldn't turn over on my stomach without pain. Constipation was the worst problem. The pain medication (I only took it the first day) and the anesthesia stopped everything from working. My husband got some Phillips Milk of Magnesia post-haste and then that problem was solved, but I suggest you stock some in advance just to be safe. I needed lots of Kleenix. Somehow I managed to sob about every time I answered the phone and someone asked me how I was doing! Another thing to stock (and you only need this the first 30 hours or so) is hard candy or ice chips for the sore throat. It comes from the intubation during the operation, but my throat was really sore and sucking on ice or butterscotch candies helped. I really appreciated folks that came by and took me for a walk or brought me a book or just stayed and talked or played cards. I enjoyed funny movies thought it was hard to concentrate. I did not want to see anything tragic or violent. The hospital I went to provided a bra and some batting to stuff it with so that I could wear normal clothes,but I have known some ladies that weren't so lucky. There are stores that sell comfortable lounge bras for folks that have had a mastectomy, but you won't find them at Wal-mart and some doctors don't know (or don't mention) where to find them. You can't wear a regular prosthesis for about a month or two, so it's a challenge to deal with. As you can see, most of the problems were really minor ones. The fear was the worst problem. Talking to other survivors and my doctors helped a lot with that. It is great that you are there for your sister!

3cbrca

I had a bx lateral mastectomy last April and I am exploring my options. I was told I couldn't do straight expanders because of the RT. I have spoken to a lot of women - many are dissatisfied with the loss of abdominal muscle with the DIEP flap and one of my doctors won't do it because she wouldn't have it herself. She's pretty active. I know there is a new surgery that uses the abdominal tissue, but doesn't take the amount of muscle that the DIEP flap and "theoretically" doesn't compromise abdominal strength which I need for the arthritis in my lower back. From what little I know of that it is only done in a few centers, (Mayo is one). I have a friend who had a Lat flap on one side and a Deip on the other - two different episodes of BR Ca, and is happier with the Latismus Dorsi - although she doesn't like the extra scars. I see another plastic in 10 days but so far I'm leaning to bilateral lat flap.

Sheilah

3cbrca

All sisters are different. Whatever worked between you whether you were cooking or just hanging out. When my sister was sick, I stayed at her house but tried to be low profile and stick my head in once in awhile.
When I was sick my reamining sister hovered and drove me crazy. She also tried to speak for me - I had to explain that I had my breasts removed not my voice! For me, people who can just took care of things and didn't ask what they can do to help are the best. Asking the patient to figure out what needs to get done is a bit of a burden.

There's nothing medically complicated to do- its just about how you two relate to one another....

She

seof

I had a bilateral mastectomy Dec. 21. I have an 11 year old and 13 year old daughter and a husband who has a flexible schedule on his job, and my Mom was here for the first 2 days. I have been back for a check up and the recon. surgeon has said I can drive again, short distances, and I can and should do excersizes to stretch out the muscles in my right arm, where lymph nodes were removed. (Left arm is just about back to normal). I have spacers in already. My main discomfort is the pain in my arm when I stretch it (like a pulled muscle), tiredness, and feeling like I have metal plates pressed against my chest. My husband helps with changing dressings and emptying drains. He likes to contribute, and I let him...though I probably could manage it myself. I have also not been able to raise my arm enough to put on any clothes that have to go over my head until today. 2 things she should know about dealing with the drains: 1. get a roll of gause, or a ribbon, or strip of cloth, or something that she can put around her neck and use safety pins to attach the drains to while she is in the shower to support the weight and keep her hands free. 2. The American Cancer socity has a catalog called the TLC catalog. In there you can order a post-surgery camisole which has pockets for holding the drains and removable padding in the bra. You might ask the nurses at the hospital, or your sister's doctor where you can get one, they might be cheaper somewhere else. I would suggest getting one size larger than her usual t-shirt size for more comfort. Other ways to help: See if you can organize friends or a church group, or someone to bring frozen dinners that can be warmed up as needed. Get someone to help do laundry or housecleaning. I don't know how she is, but when I am home more the normal, everyday clutter is much more annoying.

Both of you need to remember to be patient. This is a big deal, but it will pass. It's OK to cry and get mad, and be scared...just don't let it stop you from getting better or enjoying whatever little things you can find to enjoy.

Keep up the good work! seof