HELP! mom won't "let it out"!!!

csekiguchi

My mother was diagnosed with stomach cancer a few weeks ago, so I am new to this board. She (and I) get easily depressed under normal circumstances, so naturally I want her to pay special attention to herself, her emotions and try not to not bottle it up. She is open to counselling, but insists that only someone who has stomach cancer can possibly understand how she is feeling. Do you agree? Did you get support from councelor and find it effective/helpful? Do you have any advice or words of wisdom for her? Thanks so much.

ringmaster38

Dear csekiguchi
I have stomach cancer and would have to agree with your mother, in part. I think that much of what she may be feeling would be felt by anyone diagnosed with cancer so if she can find a general support group where she is being treated, many of the same thoughts will be raised whether it is stomach,breast,bone or prostate. When it comes to how she is feeling physically, during and after treatment, that would involve finding another person taking the same treatment. I found it difficult to make my family understand how I felt. About simple everyday activities such as eating, exercise, or pain. It is not easy to go from a person who eats anything and lots of it to a person who can't stand even the the thought of a favorite food or meal and can only eat small amounts of strange food combinations. I ended up only eating mexican food and ice cream by the end of the chemo treatments. However they have to respect the fact that what your mother is telling
them is what she feels and only she knows how she feels.
I would also recommend some effort at visualization so that she can form a picture of getting rid of the cancer. Mine was lying down in this blue-white liquid and letting it wash the cancer out. It helped mentally. One last thing and I'll quit. See if your mother can figure out a little saying that will help mentally. Every time I asked my oncologist how my cancer was doing compared to others he was treating he would always say...Everyone's cancer is a little different...One day I said to him "If everyone's cancer is different, then anything is possible" and that is what I say to myself and it gives me a boost.
Hope this helps. If you want more info, I would be happy to correspond.

TereB

Counseling is good if you are open to it. I was very depressed after surgery and it helped me get back on my feet. Many oncology depts. have social workers that can help you with that.

If your mom only wants to talk to someone who has stomach cancer, a support group for that type of cancer might help or someone in this discussion board. All patients, even those with the same cancer, have different experiences.

Good luck!

debbie918

I agree Stomach cancer is in that rare group. Maybe she is feeling different. When I was diagnosed back in 2001, I was like who gets stomach cancer. I did have support because years before My dad and Brother passed from colon cancer. Just an FYI it is genetically related in my family. I went on to have colon and small intestine cancer. I am fine it was caught very early

Hang in there have your Mom be positive. Medicine has come a long way.
I am now a 6 years survivor of stomach cancer and I had stage 3B.

Peace

ScissorsMacGillicutty

I've just been diagnosed. While I'm lucky to have the support of family and friends, I've also been looking for a group of people with the disease or have gone through treatment. Guess I've come to the right place.

There's no substitute for the love and support of family and friends in times of trouble. At the same time, there's no substitute for the company of others who know your troubles because they've been through them themselves.

If right now your mom wants to talk to other patients, help her find them. Maybe that's the start she needs to be able to be open to everyone who wants to support her.

My thoughts are with you and your mom.