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Suzy41
Suzy41 Member Posts: 10
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
My friend has had breast cancer for 4 years and has to take chemo continuously.She can't take radiation because it almost killed her the first and only time they tried it. The cancer has'nt affected any major organs, but it is in her leg and spread to other parts of her body. This chemo is really making her sick and she complained of not being able to remember things as well. She is 44 yrs. old and has 3 children ages 19,15, and 11. What can I do to be of help to them?

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  • Unknown
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    Hi Suzy. God bless you for wanting to be there for your friend.
    First of all...don't panic.
    I am a 21 year breast cancer survivor....twice.
    Your friend can do this with lots of love and support. Let her know that you are available 24/7 for anything from kid sitting to a phone call in the middle of the night.
    The nausea and memory problems are not unusual but can be scary. Tell her to tell her doctor EVERYTHING she is experiencing. He can help her.
    Also, we would love to chat with her in the csn chat rooms if she cares to join us. We help and encourage each other in dozens of ways every day (and night). Good luck and Gob bless you AND your friend.
  • hounddog
    hounddog Member Posts: 115
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    Just be there for your friend . I 'm a breast cancer survivor twice so I know what it is like . I will keep her in prayers.
    marilyn
  • Suzy41
    Suzy41 Member Posts: 10
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    unknown said:

    Hi Suzy. God bless you for wanting to be there for your friend.
    First of all...don't panic.
    I am a 21 year breast cancer survivor....twice.
    Your friend can do this with lots of love and support. Let her know that you are available 24/7 for anything from kid sitting to a phone call in the middle of the night.
    The nausea and memory problems are not unusual but can be scary. Tell her to tell her doctor EVERYTHING she is experiencing. He can help her.
    Also, we would love to chat with her in the csn chat rooms if she cares to join us. We help and encourage each other in dozens of ways every day (and night). Good luck and Gob bless you AND your friend.

    Thanks for your comments. God bless you! My friend is in stage 4 and her Breast cancer came back about a year ago. She is'nt in any shape to get on the computer, but she does'nt mind if I stay in communication for her. thanks again, Suzy
  • jmears
    jmears Member Posts: 266
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    Hi - I am taking a pill form chemo called Xeloda for stage 4 BC in my bones and I have very minimal side effects and it has been helpful. There are new drugs and protocal everyday ...if your friend thinks she isn't getting the newest and best I suggest she try a second opinion or a trial. I was 41 when I started my journey nearlky 8 years ago and I have lost a lot of memory, strength, energy, you name it ...but we all go on ... just a bit differently! Best wishes to your friend and you for being so concerned. Jamie
  • seof
    seof Member Posts: 819 Member
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    Three cheers for a good friend like you! This chat room is a great source of help. My Sister had cancer for 5 years before she passed away, leaving a husband and 4 kids aged 1-17. She was involved in several clinical trials. They helped her get the latest and best treatment, and it helped her pay for treatment that she would not have gotten otherwise. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in May 2007. I have 2 kids, 11 and 13 and a very supportive husband and church. Chemo is working in my case, and I am one of the lucky few who have minimal side effects. I do have some memory lapses and word-finding problems. On some of her treatments my sister had similar effects, but some did not. I would encourage your friend to be as open and honest with her Doctors as possible. If she feels she is not getting the help she needs, another Doctor may be a good choice. Like the other reply said, you can help her by being available. Offer childcare, offer to go with her to treatments, if you can. Check with American Cancer Society for a local chapter and help her find a support group, if she is not already involved in one (or a church, or other group). The hospital may have resources too. ACS can put her in touch with "look good, feel better" if she is not already aware of it. They can help with cosmetic and emotional support. ACS or a local church may also help her get in touch with meals-on-wheels who may be able to bring prepared meals to her house. ACS can help her get in touch with people who can drive her to treatments, etc. If she is not up to doing research for herself, you can help by getting information for her. Also, ask her what you can do. If she is not forthcoming, suggest things like a free housecleaning, or do her grocery shopping for her sometimes, or just sit with her and have a cup of tea. Ask her if she wants you to bring a good movie and you could stay and watch it after the kids go to bed. I would say the most important thing is for her to know you are ready and able, and you want her to tell you what she needs.

    For what it's worth...seof