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Note from Eric's Sister

Posts: 2
Joined: Oct 2010

Find myself coming here for comfort....something Eric always gave me. Sitting here trying to summarize what my brother has meant to me for a funeral service when i keep wanting to walk in his room and kiss him on the head like i have done from months. My head and my heart cannot make sense of this process.

So, for those of you who only knew Eris via CSN, a couple of things you should know:

He gave the best hugs on the planet. The kind that wrap you up and take all your worries away.
He had the stength of an ox
He never held a grudge.....never.
Forgiveness flowed like a river from his soul
He was so funny and a great writer and I'm sure you got that on the board
He would put his arms around my mom and I and say......my girls....my girls

My brother, Kristian, had a dream the night before Eric passed. He said he was sitting on the sofa in Eric's room and Eric was sitting in the chair by the door (despite being bed bound for months), Eric looked at Kristian and got out of the chair and walked out of the room.

Thank you for loving my brother. You were a great comfort to him.

I'm grateful that Eric is free from the worries and trouble and sickness of this world. But in flesh and selfishness, i just want my brother back.

herdizziness's picture
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

Strangest thing, I went outside yesterday, and my gardening Angel had a flower in her hand, and the flower was pointed up, and so fine looking. It looked freshly plucked.
The only problem with the picture was that very same flower for the past couple of days had been wilted, and definitely facing way down to the ground. I had placed that flower 5 days ago, it was a purple and white petunia.
I suspected my hubby had replaced it with another, I looked at my petunia's and no, I had purple ones, white ones, etc., but no purple/white ones. I asked him, and his answer, was no, he hadn't replaced it.
This flower that I placed 5 days ago in the gardening Angel's hand had been given to me by a friend in gratitude of the way my cancer was getting whupped.
I had been feeling that morning, helpless against this cancer with the news of Eric's death, my sadness at the loss of his wonderful soul on our earth was profound. On the page concerning his death, my words were short, unusual for me, but my tears prevented any further ability to write or see the words I wrote. And yet, I walk out to my back yard and here is this flower, in it's glory, looking freshly plucked.
I think Eric, was saying carry on, don't give up. So, thank you Eric, I won't, we won't.
We will continue the fight, we will my friend, we will. We won't forget you. I/We loved our conversations with you. I loved you my friend, even though we never met.
So, tomorrow, we start the fight again.
Winter Marie

Posts: 2
Joined: Oct 2010

Gosh, that is so comforting! I bet Eric gave that flower to you. That would be so like him to do such a thing in a tiny special place that only you would see.

Maybe Eric has been assigned to watch over you from heaven. Can't think of a better person for the job. He gives great hugs.....even if you can't feel them.

Prayers for your recovery, comfort and peace.

herdizziness's picture
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

Much like Eric, you give such hope and peace.
And I feel he is watching, looking over, helping all he can.
Truly, my sobs are heart wrenching, and I must stop them for his sake, but I know he's in a better place, watching over us, loving us, lending us his soft touch and his sweet tender heart.
Much love your and your families way.
Winter Marie

stratplayer's picture
Posts: 41
Joined: Jul 2010

I know there is loss and confusion right now in your heart, but there is total peace where Eric is right now. I briefly knew Eric from this great Forum.
May I make a suggestion?
If you can, use Eric's log in on this forum so the new people will know his face. Eric is still in our memories and prayers. He is alive in Heaven!!!


Lori-S's picture
Posts: 1286
Joined: Sep 2010

You are so sweet and thank you for sharing your stories and experiences with your brother. I hope that you find the strength and love you need at this time. Give yourself time and feel all your feelings. I am sending you a BIG HUG as I'm sure that Eric would want you to have.

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3045
Joined: May 2009

Believe that you will see each other again, and feel that hug, because you can bet that he is there with you. Hold him in your heart, and when you are yearning for his touch, think of him, hug yourself and feel his strength!

I send you a great big bear hug, and when you are lying down, ask him to run his fingers through your hair! I always ask for a sign!

You will be fine! Angel Kisses!

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Kathleen808's picture
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Thank you for sharing those beautiful words about Eric. Your description of your brother really rounds him out for me. He was always such a kind soul on this board. I love your description of his hugs.
I will continue to hold your family in my prayers.


okthen's picture
Posts: 232
Joined: Jun 2010

My heart aches for you. Although not to cancer, I lost my brother in 2008. Reading Maries post brought to mind the butterfly that appeared when my mother scattered his ashes...every time I see a butterfly I think of him and smile. It took some time for the tears to be replaced with a smile, but it does come. I wish I had gotten to know Eric better, everyone here that did seems to be better for it.
Sending you prayers and hugs,

mommyof2kds's picture
Posts: 522
Joined: Mar 2009

God bless. We all loved eric. He is watching over us from above in his new beautiful world.. Hang on to the beautiful memories.

Paula G.'s picture
Paula G.
Posts: 596
Joined: Apr 2009

I always looked forward to reading his post. He was great! I am sorry you lost him to this awful stuff.

I am going through this process now with my husban and it hurts so much. I can understand wanting your brother back. This was a great post. Love to you and your family. Paula

AceSFO's picture
Posts: 230
Joined: Sep 2009

Hi, Ashley,

My heart goes out to you and the rest of your family. I'm so grateful for having known your brother however briefly, through this site. I only wish I could have met him in person. He and I connected a while back and got in cahoots to pull a little caper for one of the other members of the board here, and had a blast doing it. He was a great guy and I know he'll live on in certain gestures and phrases amongst your family and you'll always have your memories of him.

Sending you strength and light and love,


KathiM's picture
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

...and still continues on....

He was always good for a giggle, and SUCH a caring, wonderful man when someone desperatly needed his words of support.

I have been on this site for many years, and there are a few that stick in my heart...Eric is one of them.

I, too, have experienced loss, so if you need a shoulder, don't hesitate! Now that I know 'who' you are, I will look for your posts...

Hugs, Kathi

immbeloved's picture
Posts: 37
Joined: Oct 2010

i am new to colon cancer, liver mets, and just joined the board but know enough about eric to feel a kindred spirit with him. i pray he went peacefully. he obviously had a loving family.
God bless you.


Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

Come here anytime for comfort or just to visit. You are part of our family.

Thanks for sharing more about Eric with us. I sure have missed seeing his witty, wonderful posts. He came up with some outrageously funny posts for us to enjoy. His love of family was very obvious; he talked about many of you, including watching movies with this nieces (are those your daughters?). I was drawn to Eric from the beginning; he reminds me in looks of one of my nephews. But then I got to "know" Eric + was drawn to his personality - brave, funny, kind.... I glad if we were a comfort to him; he sure was a comfort to us. Please know I am thinking of you, your family, and of course Eric. Take good care.

geotina's picture
Posts: 2123
Joined: Oct 2009

I'm so sorry you lost your brother Eric. While his pain is now gone, your pain will linger on. In the future, you will think of your brother Eric and through the tears you will smile while thinking of things he did that made you smile.

Please take comfort in the fact that Eric's pain and suffering has ended, that he spoke of his family so lovingly often referring to his mom as his angel.

I'm so very sorry for your loss and the world's loss of Eric.

Take care - Tina

sfmarie's picture
Posts: 605
Joined: Aug 2009

As I lost my sister a few months ago to this awful disease. I came here for advice, hope, comfort and Eric gave me all of that and more! He sounds like an amazing brother and I know how much you will miss him. I too am glad the suffering is over but know what you mean by wanting him back.
Sending prayers to you and your family. Peace and strength during this most difficult time.

Sundanceh's picture
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

Hi Ashley

I met your brother through this site and we did get to meet face to face on several occasions. I came to the hospital for him and he came to the hospital for me. We used to email frequently when he was well.

Eric used to be about humor, but I saw a deeper side to him through some of his posts and many of our talks. He had a certain introspection to him for someone so young. I've met your Mom too and just in love with her...the sweetest mom that I know.

Jennie and I came by to see Eric about a week before he passed on - he was having one of his good days and was able to recognize us both and we talked about a couple of topics and he cracked a joke and I saw a flash of his ol' wit.

I'll miss him and I know things will never be the same for you, but that you will persevere. I lost my only sister to a tragedy back in '86 and when I see the love between a brother and a sister, well, it just warms my heart...it's a special bond and a special love. Both of you had that!

Thank you for your post and I hope as the days pass, the tears will be replaced slowly with smiles and the good memories that you all shared.


idlehunters's picture
Posts: 1792
Joined: Apr 2009

Hi.... I know that hug you are speaking of. When Craig and I came to visit Eric the week before he passed..... I went to give him a hug..from me and all THIS semi family who love him SO much... I was surprised by the strength he held in that hug and the feeling that came over me.... like everything...including him.... was going to be alright. We were so blessed to get that time with him. I hope your Ma is doing ok and please.... you come to this board anytime and share with us. Take care.


braelee2's picture
Posts: 130
Joined: Sep 2010

I'm so sorry about Eric's Death. As you can seen he has touched so many lives, not all of us had the pleasure of knowing him very long. But he touch all of us in one way or another. made us laugh, cry, comfort us, or just gave us hope. He was a great person. And your family has been blessed with such a wonderful man. Just Remember the good times you had with him. ( My pastor said to me when my Uncle passed away Do the Three T's
1. Talk (about how great he was)
2. Time,
3. Tears ( cry about the good and the bad)

Posts: 965
Joined: Nov 2008

My deepest condolences to you and your family. Eric was a breath of fresh air. I loved his "tell it like it is" posts. He had great humor and shared it with us here on the board. Your brother will always be with you....


Buzzard's picture
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

He is full of wit and very warm and knows just what to say at the right time. He will always be here with us, he will always be somewhere in our conversations. Thats just how he was and is. Into everything and like a kid in a candy store, loved to be involved in all affairs and was first in line when it came to comforting people in here. He is one that will stand out for me. He always said exactly what was on his mind but always accomodating to all of us...He is with us at all times , so to be missed...you have to be gone, and he will never be gone from us, he is loved to much in here.....so Ashley, be certain that Eric is in here, if you ever doubt that come in here and just listen for a while. You will see Eric in most everyone in here, he left that big of an impression on us.....Love to you and mom........Clift

lisa42's picture
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008


You already know what a great guy your brother was, so I don't have to tell you that everyone on the board here thought he was pretty great too :)
It sure doesn't seem fair that he's gone, now, but every time cancer strikes it's unfair. I'm so sorry for you and your family. I just picture him in heaven totally praising the Lord and enjoying the music, which is probably more majestic and awesome than our earthly minds could ever even imagine.

Hugs to you my dear,

HollyID's picture
Posts: 951
Joined: Dec 2009

Hi Ashley and thanks for coming here and talking about Eric. He was truly one special person. He still is. I picture Eric dancing with Donna and Luann and all the others we've lost through the months.

Eric talked of his family often and you knew the love he had for you all. You were his angels on earth. Eric is easy to love. His wit, his faith and his hope were insurmountable.

Please, come back and tell us all how you and your family are doing. We're here for you as well. Give each other hugs and love all you can.



Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

Eric was a great friend to many here. His attitude and sense of humor and constant support are really missed.

I'm so sorry you've lost such a wonderful brother. The world has lost another fantastic person. But I'm happy that he is out of pain and at peace.

I wish for comfort and peace for you as you go through this very difficult time of final goodbyes.

Annabelle41415's picture
Posts: 6722
Joined: Feb 2009

Eric meant so much to all of us. He had such a great sense of humor and could brighten any situation. He talked of your mom so highly too, just wish that somehow we would have been able to meet face to face. Thank you for sharing another part of Eric that we didn't know about. You are welcome on this board anytime. You are all in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.


christinecarl's picture
Posts: 545
Joined: Sep 2009


Eric was always one of those people on this board whose posts I would search for every time I logged in here. I always wanted to hear what he had to say, because his posts were always so wise and full of hope and they always made me feel better. He was always such an inspiration to so many of us here.

I am so very sorry for your loss. It is so hard to lose the ones that you can never replace. The pain cuts so deep and it is like a giant hole has been punched in your life. Thank you for sharing those wonderful facts about your brother, we all miss him so much here, but he will live on in every one of us that continues to fight this awful disease. I hope you can find some comfort in knowing how loved he was here.

Today would have been my mom's 62nd birthday if colon cancer had not taken her at 57,so I do know sort of how you feel. :(

Posts: 251
Joined: Jan 2009

I am sitting here trying to type something. I have not checked for a couple of days but came to my computer to check on Eric and just read of his passing. He was such a wonderful person and so caring. My husband of 42 years is in Hospice. He was put on oxygen today and pain patches. I lost my mother to cancer in 1987 and now am loosing my husband. Eric gave so much to not only me but to everyone who read his post. When we pass all we have left is the memories of ourselves left with others. Eric will never be forgotten because he left us all with wonderful memories. I am so very sorry for your loss..give your mom and yourself a big hug and know that the ones on this site are always here for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

tootsie1's picture
Posts: 5065
Joined: Feb 2008


As I've told you on facebook, Eric was truly special to us here, and we will all continue you to miss him and remember him. I loved your description of his hugs and his strength. It didn't surprise me that you said he never held a grudge, because kindness just oozed from his being.

I'm praying for your family, and I hope you will stay in touch.


Fight for my love
Posts: 1530
Joined: Jun 2009

On this board,we are all family.when I have to see the one I love so much fading away,my heart breaks into millions of pieces.Your words brought tears to my eyes.Thanks for your words and I can truly feel your love for your brother.I am sure Eric is happy that he has great family.Please rest in peace,Eric.

Aud's picture
Posts: 480
Joined: Oct 2009

thank you so much for sharing that about your brother. I miss him. We all do.
I am so sorry that you lost your brother and like Clift said, he will always be here with us. His Spirit lives on not only "over there," but also "here."
The more we love the more it hurts when someone leaves.
Holding you in the Light for comfort and peace.

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