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Welcome & Support Hannahznana

Lori-S's picture
Lori-S
Posts: 1287
Joined: Sep 2010

My husband was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer in August 2007. He almost didn't survive the first surgery. It took months with multiple organ failures, MERSA, had to be trached and now on his 3rd chemo (5FU and CPT-11). This one has been so hard on all of us. I was his caregiver when the Doctors gave up and suggested hospice. I fought and prayed. I have spent the last 3 years crying, praying and worrying. I don't have anyone to talk to. I don't want to worry him or my mother. The steriods that they give him with each chemo is causing manic symptoms and keeping me upset. I don't know how to handle this anymore. I love him with all my heart but I can't keep on being screamed at or worrying if my children are safe with him. If there is anyone with help or advise... Please!

This was posted on another thread and I didn't want it to get lost as I'm sure that others will want to help support Hannahznana.

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Oh, dear.

You need to have some help FAST! I know hospice is a scary proposition, but the people who work with hospice could certainly offer you some advice and help and especially a chance to get out for a little bit to clear your head. If not them, is there any way that you can afford some home health care, so you can get away for a bit every now and then?

I'm going to be praying for you, dear!

*hugs*
Gail

P.S. And speaking as a mother, if you were my daughter, I would definitely want you to confide in me so I could help.

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

Welcome to this forum, a sounding board for survivors + caregivers both. I think you will find this a great place to vent, get advice, support one another + even laugh sometimes. You + your husband have had a tough three years. I am sorry that you don't have anyone to talk to. I hope we can help. I totally understand about not wanting to worry your mother; I feel that way too (although I am the cancer patient rather than the caregiver). It can be a lot of pressure, just worrying about mother's worrying! Take good care!

Lori, thanks for making this its own thread.

Jaylo969
Posts: 827
Joined: Jan 2010

My suggestion is to tell the oncologist what is going on...everything you said here such as the steroid symptoms.Maybe they can lower the dose or change to something else?

Please take care of yourself too. 3 years is a long time to give your all. I know because I just got through taking care of both terminally ill parents and it was not for 3 years either. I have found that I am in worse shape than I could have ever imagined. I must have just been going on sheer adrenaline for the past several months.Try to get some help if you can.

My heart is with you.

Best wishes,
-Pat

pepebcn's picture
pepebcn
Posts: 6352
Joined: Aug 2010

I'm sure it will help to you !

geotina's picture
geotina
Posts: 2120
Joined: Oct 2009

I too am a caregiver. Been in the game for 18 months now. Please keep in mind that your husband has cancer, he is scared, terrified, worried and every emotion known to man is running through him. Sometimes it is also the steroids, they can do wacky things to the patient. He is being pumped full of chemo that makes him sick but is suppose to help. After 3 years he is probably sick and tired of being sick and tired. That being said, sometimes we just need to look the other way and need a break. Not easy but as a caregiver mandatory. We simply cannot let the patient know on a daily basis how upset they are making us, they are upset enough. Now stop crying and worrying about something you have no control over. Again, not an easy thing to do. If possible, do your crying in private. Heck, when alone have a full blown freak out but please, don't make him feel guilty for being sick, something he had no control of. Now if he is getting violent, that is a whole different scenario. Perhaps he needs something to calm him down of if he is not sleeping well, something to help him sleep. If you need help, ask for it, and don't worry about upseting mom by talking to her, heck, thats what moms are for.

Take care - Tina

Lori-S's picture
Lori-S
Posts: 1287
Joined: Sep 2010

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pepebcn's picture
pepebcn
Posts: 6352
Joined: Aug 2010

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