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Some days are diamonds – some days are stone

Kerry S's picture
Kerry S
Posts: 607
Joined: Dec 2009

Some times the hard times won’t leave me alone. This old John Denver song comes to mind as I tell you of yet another misadventure with my damn bag.

The other day I was wearing my bib overalls. You know the kind farmers like to wear.
Well the bag got to be 2/3 full, so I assume the position of kneeling in front of the john – drop the shoulder straps – let the overalls fall below my waist. I was wearing a shirt with tails so I rolled up the shirt tails and with the bag hanging over the john and proceeded to undo the bag for dumping.

That is when it happened. With both hands on the bag and the Velcro tabs undone the damn shirt tails fall down. The right hand goes for the shirt tails and I kind of straighten up. When this happens my dumb left hand lets go of the bag. The bag now swings out of the john to slap against my crotch. This of course dumps the entire contents of the bag right down inside my overalls. I am there kneeling with crap pooling at both knees. What a mess.

Lesson learned – in the future, hold shirt tails in your teeth. Some day I will reflect back on this point of my life and laugh.

Kerry

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

next supply order try some disposable bags instead of the reusable....The one shot bag sure is a lot easier to deal with...but with an illeo, im not sure, I have an colonostomy. Although I still think it may be easier......anywho...on with the show buddy....hope your doing well.....Buzz

mike_in_ky's picture
mike_in_ky
Posts: 8
Joined: Sep 2010

I,like buzz, have a colonostomy so I donn't know if this will work for you but I use a small bucket(one like butter come in) and place it in the sink. Then drain bag into bucket, empty into toliet, clean bucket and hide under sink until next use. Don't know if this helps but just wanted to throw it out there. Thanks for your story - brought a smile......I know this won't work in a public place but works well at home for me....Mike

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

Picture a public toilet that looks less that sanitary. It's in the dead of winter. Sooooo...

Long coat rolled up around the middle, held in place by elbows. Pants rolled down, only to knees to avoid dropping on floor which is wet. Panties tucked inside pants, so that they don't contact toilet...squatting over the bowl, trying VERY hard NOT to sit completely down on the wet (from other women) seat...attempting to aim with a device that, instead of a tube-like organ, is more like a hose sprayer...THEN don't EVEN get me STARTED about the process of WIPING!!!!

I know it wasn't funny what happened to you, dearheart, but I couldn't help myself with my giggle...

BIG hugs to you!!!!

Hugs, Kathi

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Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

If an illeo bag had a much longer dumping tube, instead of the 2-3" it has would that not allow you to unroll it on down with more control an ease of dumping ? It may also make it easier to rinse out with out the mess...maybe even since the illeo is a lot more fluidy (sp) something like a catheter dump vlv (quarter turn) to simply open allow to dump and close as needed. Maybe if we start sending ideas to our suppliers we might could get some prothesis' that are more user friendly than they are now....Your a farmer, and I am sure quite adept at field engineering equipment as most farmers are. Field engineer you a device (even if its disposable) to make life easier so that ya don't end up with another load of garden fertilizer in your drawers...been there done that, and got a wife that doesn't let me forget it either.......(your not the only one married to a scary ole woman)

PS.....you and I need to have breakfast some morning with eggs cathead biscuits, and bacon...maybe a little redeye gravy as well.........Dam, Im hungry now. Talk with ya later...Buzz

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 3346
Joined: Jan 2010

I realize that there are some differences for us ladies than you gents from a clothing perspective but here are a few things I do:

I have a folding chair in the bathroom. When it comes time to empty the bag I set it up facing the toilet, as close as I can get it. Makes for more stable working conditions for me and my 'seat' has a bit more padding than my knees.

As for shirt tails, I like to wear long shirts so what I do is roll it up from the bottom and kinda pull it to one side and anchor under my arm pit. My misadventure before doing this was more along the lines of the shirt ending up in the toilet.

Thanks for sharing your world adventures with the bag. While not to funny for you, I am sure it gave many here the laugh you were aiming for!

Take care,

Marie who loves kitties

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3045
Joined: May 2009

Look at the bright side you had pants on to hold some of the crap!

khl8
Posts: 810
Joined: Nov 2009

Kerry,
sit on the toilet to dump, and put toilet paper in the bowl first, it slows the splash!

Kathy

Kerry S's picture
Kerry S
Posts: 607
Joined: Dec 2009

Darlin,
My ileo is above my waist line. If I tried to dump sitting on the john a good friend of mine down that way would be extremely POed at me.

Kerry

khl8
Posts: 810
Joined: Nov 2009

Well then, I guess you are up sh*& creek without a paddle!!!! LOL

betina61's picture
betina61
Posts: 644
Joined: Aug 2006

I am sorry for this new accident with your bag, but to be honest with you,I have to tell you that you have a very funny way of explaining what happened, you are UNIQUE!!!

Lori-S's picture
Lori-S
Posts: 1287
Joined: Sep 2010

If you wore a bra like I do, you could just tuck your shirt in like I do.

HollyID's picture
HollyID
Posts: 951
Joined: Dec 2009

a man bra... that could come in handy!! :o)

Lori-S's picture
Lori-S
Posts: 1287
Joined: Sep 2010

I just read that one side effects of tagamet is breast development in men. So if Kerry decides to give tagamet a try I'm going to be watching for a solution to holding up his shirt with the home made man bra that his talented wife can craft for him! I know ... warped sense of humor I have!

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 3346
Joined: Jan 2010

Lori, you may be on to something there...instead of a 'boulder holder' Kerry's mrs. needs to fashion a shirt-tail holder...maybe some velcro tabs on the ends that he can then fix the tails around his neck!

HollyID's picture
HollyID
Posts: 951
Joined: Dec 2009

and I'm sure she could fashion anything up that Kerry would need.

The only think I request are pictures. :)

Love ya Kerry!!

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6525
Joined: Feb 2009

I agree with sitting on the toilet and letting the end hang down and then open it. In public it would be very hard though as toilets are gross. Try doing it over an outhouse toilet now that is disgusting especially if it splashes back up at you - yuck.

Kim

coloCan
Posts: 1956
Joined: Oct 2009

My GF was cleaning the area around stoma as a solid particle started to emerge from the top of stoma. Must have been some gas shooting out right behind it as the jelly-bean shaped stool became a projectile and bounced off her chin.....Good thing her mouth was closed!!!!!steve

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6525
Joined: Feb 2009

You better keep that woman if she sticked around after that surprise :) Now it seems funny, but I know at the time it wasn't. My husband has been there for some pretty messes too, but not in the face. Gotta love those caregivers.

Kim

karguy's picture
karguy
Posts: 1024
Joined: Apr 2009

Well I learned to unbutton my shirt,and hold it to the sides while I empty my bag.Wait untill you have to take the go lightly for a colonoscopy.When you take the bag off you have to have two bags ,or it goes shooting all over the place.Good luck.

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

I am so sorry you had that crap to deal with. Keep smiling + making us smile.

John23's picture
John23
Posts: 2140
Joined: Jan 2007

Actually, the lesson learned should be: Empty when no more than 1/3 full.

The manufacturer tells us that, the ostomy nurse will tell you that,
and any ileostomate will tell you that.

Is that Ileo a temporary one? If so, was there any reason the surgeon
placed it where he did?

Just curious..

John

Kerry S's picture
Kerry S
Posts: 607
Joined: Dec 2009

John,

I think he picked the spot due to my body shape. He had me sit up just before they knocked me out and marked a spot for it. Yes this is a temp ileo. I get reconnected after deer season. The good part is I will not have to worry about needing to take a dump while I am up in the tree stand.

Kerry

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

SHOP VAC...No Muss No Fuss........

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Kerry,

I know you must have been horrified at the time this all went down, but I have to say that I LOVE your stories. So descriptive! Hang in there, buddy.

*hugs*
Gail

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3045
Joined: May 2009

As you all know I never had to have the BAG..but want you all to know that I am so proud of the way you all kid about that dam thing....I hope if I ever have to get one that I can also kid about it. I really look up to you all, having to deal with one, it must be very hard at times!!! No pun intended!

Sincerely, Raquel

tiny one
Posts: 467
Joined: Jan 2009

How about using a clip to secure your shirt tails. I remember when I had my ileostomy, I had forgot to velcro the bag, luckily I was home but my house slippers were a mess. My ostomy spared me from having diarrhea during chemo. After I had my reversal though things were very rough. Still have frequency issues, reversal was Dec 21. 2007. Cancer free 3 years.

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HollyID's picture
HollyID
Posts: 951
Joined: Dec 2009

Kerry, I love you... 'nuff said. (You make me smile!)

coolvdub's picture
coolvdub
Posts: 410
Joined: Aug 2009

Kerry,

I like to call these fun events Sh*t storms. Had 3 in the last week myself. Just laugh it off when you can and go on with life. Good thing is it all washes off.

Don

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