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Scan on the 29th of June, and I'm scared.

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Comments

  • Sonia32
    Sonia32 Member Posts: 1,071
    Update
    I want to thank my online family, I don't know if you remember I posted back in April about a friend in England who was told she only had a few months and I was debating whether to see her. Well my soon to be ex talked me not to going as did she, she was protecting me as she knew how sensitive I was. She passed away on Tuesday, I've been asked if I want to go to her funeral but I don't know if I can handle it. Her passing has brought back memories of my mum passing from the big C, and I just can't get over the fact I wont hear her voice again, her laugh. I just hate this disease so much, and it makes me angry that good people suffer and that bad folk get away with things really dont understand this world sometimes. So that has set me back as well I do remember her wise words, the day she got told she told me that I had a choice in regards to my soon to be ex, I could let go and get on with my life and if he came back great. So with all your words of advice and hers I will try and stand firm. Hugs to you all
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028
    lisa42 said:

    Sonia!
    Hi my Dear Friend,

    I'm so glad to hear back from you & I just read your PM to me- I will be replying there next. I'll save my thoughts for the PM- we need to talk for real soon. Not sure how that works from here to England, but I'm sure we can do it.

    Signing off to write your PM reply-

    Hugs and love to you,
    Lisa

    Lisa, a discount international phone rate:
    Dial 1010229 before the number.

    Then the international number with country code, area code, and number...Sonia can tell you in a PM...

    It runs about 1-2 cents per minute. At least when we call The Netherlands, which is right next door! .69 (cents) connect charge. Goes right on my phone bill.

    Sonia, in Holland it's 09000900 before the number...usually half a Euro cent per minute to call the states. Maybe it works in England, maybe they have one, too.

    These are not 'join a club' rates.


    Hugs, Kathi
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028
    Sonia32 said:

    Update
    I want to thank my online family, I don't know if you remember I posted back in April about a friend in England who was told she only had a few months and I was debating whether to see her. Well my soon to be ex talked me not to going as did she, she was protecting me as she knew how sensitive I was. She passed away on Tuesday, I've been asked if I want to go to her funeral but I don't know if I can handle it. Her passing has brought back memories of my mum passing from the big C, and I just can't get over the fact I wont hear her voice again, her laugh. I just hate this disease so much, and it makes me angry that good people suffer and that bad folk get away with things really dont understand this world sometimes. So that has set me back as well I do remember her wise words, the day she got told she told me that I had a choice in regards to my soon to be ex, I could let go and get on with my life and if he came back great. So with all your words of advice and hers I will try and stand firm. Hugs to you all

    I don't, as a rule, attend...
    I say my private goodbyes.

    I find it's healthier for me not to open myself to the emotion, but I DO write a note, however long or short, to the family left behind. Even then, it's filled with good memories and funny stories. My final signature is always the same "You have not lost this person. They have just moved. From in front of your eyes, into your heart, where they will live on forever."

    I had no formal memorial service for my daughter, but did take family with me to the ocean to spread her ashes. It was very moving...as we finished, there was a flyby from a local base of 2 fighter jets. Which disturbed all of the sea lions. They all started barking. I could hear my daughter's laughter joining them...she LOVED the ocean!!!!! I still smile as I write this.

    So, my advance directive says "Throw a big party. Invite everyone. NO TEARS from anyone!"

    Hugs, Kathi
  • SueRelays
    SueRelays Member Posts: 485
    Sonia32 said:

    Update
    I want to thank my online family, I don't know if you remember I posted back in April about a friend in England who was told she only had a few months and I was debating whether to see her. Well my soon to be ex talked me not to going as did she, she was protecting me as she knew how sensitive I was. She passed away on Tuesday, I've been asked if I want to go to her funeral but I don't know if I can handle it. Her passing has brought back memories of my mum passing from the big C, and I just can't get over the fact I wont hear her voice again, her laugh. I just hate this disease so much, and it makes me angry that good people suffer and that bad folk get away with things really dont understand this world sometimes. So that has set me back as well I do remember her wise words, the day she got told she told me that I had a choice in regards to my soon to be ex, I could let go and get on with my life and if he came back great. So with all your words of advice and hers I will try and stand firm. Hugs to you all

    Hi Sonia
    Reading this

    Hi Sonia
    Reading this reminds me of what one of the ladies on our CSN chats said the other day....
    " I know God only dishes out to us what he knows we can handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much"!!!!
    You are being dealt a tough hand lately. I just wanted to chime in and say I'm sorry as well, and hope and pray brighter days are ahead for you.
    I, at times feel like there is no one who knows how I feel, or can understand what I've been through....until I sign on the discussion boards. There we find a "family" that is there to help and guide us through our journey. I hope that the concern and love for you, helps ease you through this difficult time.
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625
    KathiM said:

    Lisa, a discount international phone rate:
    Dial 1010229 before the number.

    Then the international number with country code, area code, and number...Sonia can tell you in a PM...

    It runs about 1-2 cents per minute. At least when we call The Netherlands, which is right next door! .69 (cents) connect charge. Goes right on my phone bill.

    Sonia, in Holland it's 09000900 before the number...usually half a Euro cent per minute to call the states. Maybe it works in England, maybe they have one, too.

    These are not 'join a club' rates.


    Hugs, Kathi

    thanks Kathi
    Hi Kathi,

    Thanks for the international phone info! I'll also call my phone company to see what they have to say.
    I just figured out the time difference between California and England is currently 8 hours. I say "currently" because it's different in summer vs. other times of the year due to daylight savings, which England doesn't seem to have.

    Sonia- we will hook up soon- got your PM- another one coming at ya!
    Lisa
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673
    Sonia32 said:

    Update
    I want to thank my online family, I don't know if you remember I posted back in April about a friend in England who was told she only had a few months and I was debating whether to see her. Well my soon to be ex talked me not to going as did she, she was protecting me as she knew how sensitive I was. She passed away on Tuesday, I've been asked if I want to go to her funeral but I don't know if I can handle it. Her passing has brought back memories of my mum passing from the big C, and I just can't get over the fact I wont hear her voice again, her laugh. I just hate this disease so much, and it makes me angry that good people suffer and that bad folk get away with things really dont understand this world sometimes. So that has set me back as well I do remember her wise words, the day she got told she told me that I had a choice in regards to my soon to be ex, I could let go and get on with my life and if he came back great. So with all your words of advice and hers I will try and stand firm. Hugs to you all

    Sonia,
    I want to let you

    Sonia,

    I want to let you know how sorry I am for the loss of your friend. I hope time + warm memories will help you through this.
  • dorookie
    dorookie Member Posts: 1,731
    Sonia32 said:

    Update
    I want to thank my online family, I don't know if you remember I posted back in April about a friend in England who was told she only had a few months and I was debating whether to see her. Well my soon to be ex talked me not to going as did she, she was protecting me as she knew how sensitive I was. She passed away on Tuesday, I've been asked if I want to go to her funeral but I don't know if I can handle it. Her passing has brought back memories of my mum passing from the big C, and I just can't get over the fact I wont hear her voice again, her laugh. I just hate this disease so much, and it makes me angry that good people suffer and that bad folk get away with things really dont understand this world sometimes. So that has set me back as well I do remember her wise words, the day she got told she told me that I had a choice in regards to my soon to be ex, I could let go and get on with my life and if he came back great. So with all your words of advice and hers I will try and stand firm. Hugs to you all

    Hugs My Friend
    My Gosh you have been through so much, no one in their right mind wouldnt be depressed, hell I feel depressed for you. We all have our own crosses to bare, but always remember God is right there with you.

    I pray that your scans will be clear, and that you are able to have some peace and not sorry so much, I know easier said than done.

    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. May she rest in peace.

    Do what Kathy suggest, talk to yourself in the mirror, tell yourself YOU ARE WORTH IT, and YOU WILL SURVIVE, cant hurt, I think it will be good.

    Prayers for you my friend, we are here if you need us.

    HUGS
    Beth
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,036
    Oh, Sonia.
    Hey, Sonia.

    You are NOT letting anyone down here. Cancer changes everyone it touches, and you're just having a very hard time right now. Don't apologize, just keep working with your doctors to see what will help you. You've been through quite a lot of life changes, my dear.

    I'll be praying that your scan shows that everything is great as far as the cancer is concerned.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • Sonia32
    Sonia32 Member Posts: 1,071
    SueRelays said:

    Hi Sonia
    Reading this

    Hi Sonia
    Reading this reminds me of what one of the ladies on our CSN chats said the other day....
    " I know God only dishes out to us what he knows we can handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much"!!!!
    You are being dealt a tough hand lately. I just wanted to chime in and say I'm sorry as well, and hope and pray brighter days are ahead for you.
    I, at times feel like there is no one who knows how I feel, or can understand what I've been through....until I sign on the discussion boards. There we find a "family" that is there to help and guide us through our journey. I hope that the concern and love for you, helps ease you through this difficult time.

    Thank you
    and hugs Sue for your warm words and thoughts
  • Sonia32
    Sonia32 Member Posts: 1,071
    AnneCan said:

    Sonia,
    I want to let you

    Sonia,

    I want to let you know how sorry I am for the loss of your friend. I hope time + warm memories will help you through this.

    Anne
    Thank you again hugs
  • Sonia32
    Sonia32 Member Posts: 1,071
    dorookie said:

    Hugs My Friend
    My Gosh you have been through so much, no one in their right mind wouldnt be depressed, hell I feel depressed for you. We all have our own crosses to bare, but always remember God is right there with you.

    I pray that your scans will be clear, and that you are able to have some peace and not sorry so much, I know easier said than done.

    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. May she rest in peace.

    Do what Kathy suggest, talk to yourself in the mirror, tell yourself YOU ARE WORTH IT, and YOU WILL SURVIVE, cant hurt, I think it will be good.

    Prayers for you my friend, we are here if you need us.

    HUGS
    Beth

    Thanks Beth
    I'm going to do what you and Kathy suggested, just got to believe in the words I say that I am worth it. Big hugs to you
  • Sonia32
    Sonia32 Member Posts: 1,071
    tootsie1 said:

    Oh, Sonia.
    Hey, Sonia.

    You are NOT letting anyone down here. Cancer changes everyone it touches, and you're just having a very hard time right now. Don't apologize, just keep working with your doctors to see what will help you. You've been through quite a lot of life changes, my dear.

    I'll be praying that your scan shows that everything is great as far as the cancer is concerned.

    *hugs*
    Gail

    Thank you Gail
    your thoughts and prayers are appreciated, big hugs to you.