CSN Login
Members Online: 5

You are here

A word about (blush) sex:

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

I am seriously amazed that I am even posting this, but if it will give someone hope that is struggling...well....

I finished my radiation to the rectal area 1/2005. At first, internal relations were impossible, it just hurt too darn bad! Over time, it got better, but still there was a bit of 'prep work' needed before actual penetration, or I wouldn't have much enjoyment.

As of last week, I now can say that consistently I have NO discomfort AT ALL! Doesn't matter the position or anything!!!

For those who can take hope from this post, I give you a hug. For those that are blushing, well, so am I (I don't usually share my bedroom stories...I am, after all, a prissy old lady....ROFL!).

Hugs, Kathi

khl8
Posts: 810
Joined: Nov 2009

Kathi!!!!!
So happy you were able to overcome the obstacles and get that part of your life back! Just like riding a bike huh? you never forget how! LOL
Kathy

John23's picture
John23
Posts: 2140
Joined: Jan 2007

I'm not too sure -I'd- look forward to the penetration part
(even with preparation)...... but I'd try anything at least once.

John

TxKayaker's picture
TxKayaker
Posts: 177
Joined: Jun 2009

Seems someone got their groove back!!!

geotina's picture
geotina
Posts: 2122
Joined: Oct 2009

and enjoy this part of your life that was taken from you for a period of time. Oh, and when is that stripper pole being installed?

Take care - Tina

Shayenne's picture
Shayenne
Posts: 2370
Joined: Jan 2009

Don't know what the preparations are, but I gave up, it just hurts too much when I try and do it. :(

Hugsss!
~Donna

bdee
Posts: 305
Joined: Feb 2009

I know what you mean. It has been since November 2008 since I had enjoyable sex. My husband still gets his jollies, but I'm out all together. The one or two times we tried anything, I bled for an hour after, so we just gave up on me. But I really don't miss it. Even when my husband is "getting it on" I don't miss it one bit.

Maybe that is just me, though.

Debbie in Arkansas

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

But, after the rads, IT HURT!!!

So, slowly with ME on top...setting the motion and the depth, it worked to get things stretched. I ALWAYS stopped when it hurt too much. Then pleasured him.

But, ladies, I will say that persistence won the day! Don't give up!!! Remember, it's been since January 2005 that I've been rad-free. I am VERY happy to be 'back'...I missed it!!!

Hugs, Kathi

RickMurtagh's picture
RickMurtagh
Posts: 586
Joined: Feb 2010

Painless sex! Wow - congrats! My wife usually just tells me to stop biting and her pain usually goes away in a few days!

Unfortunately for me my limpdyck system is not working at all.

WinneyPooh's picture
WinneyPooh
Posts: 318
Joined: Jul 2009

kATHI ITS GREAT TO KNOW FIVE YEARS IS POSSIBLE, HAPPY FOR YOU AND EVEN MORE SWEET TO KNOW ALL WILL HEAL EVENTUALLY, i HAD RADIATION IN JAN, AND FEB THIS YEAR, AND WATER STILL HURTS,

I FIND MOMMENTS WHERE I DON'T TOTALLY BLAME MY HUSBAND WHEN HE COMPLAINS, I AM COMPLAINING TOO BUT IT'S NONSENSE TO YELL AT ONESELF.

HE TENDS TO FORGET, HE STILL CAN, I CAN'T, NOT EVEN SOLO, SORRY TO BE SO BLUNT BUT IT NEEDS TO BE SAID,

GUYS AND GALS ALIKE, THE ONE WHO CAN'T DO IT, DUE TO THIS LOVELY LITTLE CANCER ( HA). WE STILL WANT TO. BUT MUST I SAY AGAIN WE CAN'T. SO LETS HUG AND LETS PLAY A GAME.

AND CONGRADS TO YOUR HUSBAND, OR WHOM EVERY STAYED TRUE TO YOU. YOU BOTH AND ALL OUR CAREGIVER BY OUR SIDE,

THANK YOU FOR STAYING, WE'RE GLAD TO BE HERE, AND WE ARE ALL JUST DOING OUR BEST.

KIND OF SUBJECT, BUT NEEDS TO BE SAID,

LIVE,LOVE,PLAY
WINNIE

Anonymous user (not verified)

This comment has been removed by the Moderator

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

Graci,

I am so sorry you went through all this pain! It sounds like you had very insensitive nurses working on a very sensitive part of the body.

msccolon's picture
msccolon
Posts: 1956
Joined: Oct 2004

Just knowing I'm going to be cathed makes me cry. it doesn't really hurt, but I'm a blubbering idiot as soon as I find out. I've always gotten pretty good sympathy from the nurses, I think you must have gotten a couple of idiots! I definitely would have put my hands down there and blocked access until they sent someone with a clue! Anybody who deals with cancer survivors has got to have heart and understand what treatments can take out of us! We can only be strong so many hours, sometimes minutes, of a day!

Kathi, I'm so glad to hear you are back to being able to enjoy sex as much as prior to your cancer journey; that's a really big milestone! If it doesn't provide pain, the hit in the physical looks department can be a hard hurdle to jump! I'm so happy for the both of you!
mary

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Kathi,

That's why we need this board. Seriously, who among us would be brave enough to approach a doctor about this. This is the kind of sharing that is so special about this board.

And, gee, if we don't hear from you for awhile, we might be able to guess why! *grins*

*hugs*
Gail

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6691
Joined: Feb 2009

Had radiation Jan/Feb of 2009 and have only been able to make love about three times since.
Told my doctor about it in December when having my pap and he suggested that I use a dilator. Try to use it daily but always forget. It comes in different sizes so you can gradually move up. You only need to use it 10 minutes at a time so it's not real time consuming. I just have to be more diligent since my husband has been so patient with me. Ok starting tomorrow it will be every day :) (fingers crossed) So happy for you Kathi, that is encouraging news and glad you brought it up.

Kim

dasspears
Posts: 233
Joined: Feb 2009

I have the graduated set. But after working all day then coming home, fixing dinner, etc., it's not like I want to "insert" and sit. I'm afraid I'll fall asleep! But like you, I do need to be more diligent as it has helped alot.

tiny one
Posts: 467
Joined: Jan 2009

I had radiation in 2007. Is it possible to stretch the area out after this long of time? I have started doing this and then stop shortly after. What worked for you? How long of a time did it take? The gynecologist in my area don't know a whole lot about damage from radiation.

Anonymous user (not verified)

This comment has been removed by the Moderator

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

No radiation for me (colon not rectal), but if the last procedure I'd had for my cervical cancer didn't work, my next step was radiation. My OB/GYN explained it all to me. As a newlywed at the time, it really scared me.

So for anyone just starting this journey or part-way into it, to hear from someone else that they have returned to normal is very encouraging! Hearing things from another patient, rather than a doctor makes it easier to relate and believe it is possible. Thanks for sharing!

classicman's picture
classicman
Posts: 34
Joined: May 2010

I understand your problems, and as a member of the oppisite sex, i to have experienced problems. #1 my colon cancer surgery was in late Augtust 09, and its been almost a year, encluding my reversal and more chemo, but my area at the incision and my groin area is still very numb. This poses a person problem when it comes to contact before sex, my girlfriend/life partner is very understanding, and has the patience of an angel, but the feelings just arent there, Has any of you guys had this problem???

coloCan
Posts: 1956
Joined: Oct 2009

things (or, more precisely-thing)ain't worked right since surgery.....Caregiving girlfriend is good with that. I can live like this (tho I'd rather not) but no more surgeries unless utterly necessary and this don't qualify, at least according to me, for me.....steve

dschreffler's picture
dschreffler
Posts: 58
Joined: Apr 2010

Check out the male centric thread ;-) Maybe you can report there and see if you get more response.

http://csn.cancer.org/node/190543

I've only completed the neoadjunctive chemo/radiation and after having ended that 10 weeks ago, somewhat back to normal. Had more of a mental lack of interest, but have been doing 30-60 minutes of exercise a day and getting energy back all around.

This is one of the concerns, nerve damage, that has taken me so long to examine surgical options in terms of long term quality of life issues.

dasspears
Posts: 233
Joined: Feb 2009

I had anal cancer and radiation to that area cause a few "problems". After 2 years, it's better but not like before! Hopefully, with continued Uh hum, exercise, it will return to some semblance of normalcy.

MelanieT's picture
MelanieT
Posts: 188
Joined: Nov 2009

Well I for one am HAPPY for you!!!!! That is one of the hard parts of this thing.. To love someone so much but have something like this taken away or stopped for awhile.. You forget how nice it was to show love that way!! Good for You!!!

Loves,
Mel

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

and sometimes it doesn't want to "rise to the occasion", but with Cialis or Viagra or 2 lortabs and a #2 lead pencil, anything is possible.....much love, Buzz

RickMurtagh's picture
RickMurtagh
Posts: 586
Joined: Feb 2010

You take notes when you make love? Or do you have to take some kind of test after?

coloCan
Posts: 1956
Joined: Oct 2009

Me and my girlfriend make love like dogs:

I beg
and

she rolls over and plays dead.......

geotina's picture
geotina
Posts: 2122
Joined: Oct 2009

I thought the pencil was to write directions!

Tina

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

And considering my back is out, it is a VERY painful thing to do!!!

I love you guys so much!!!

Hugs, Kathi

462lt's picture
462lt
Posts: 118
Joined: Jun 2010

Thank you for everyone here who shared their experience. I am single (not that it is any better for married people)and not looking forward to all the side affects and really concerned that I will never find Mr Right with all this baggage. So again thanks for sharing.

Subscribe to Comments for "A word about (blush) sex:"