A word about (blush) sex:

KathiM
KathiM Member Posts: 8,028
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I am seriously amazed that I am even posting this, but if it will give someone hope that is struggling...well....

I finished my radiation to the rectal area 1/2005. At first, internal relations were impossible, it just hurt too darn bad! Over time, it got better, but still there was a bit of 'prep work' needed before actual penetration, or I wouldn't have much enjoyment.

As of last week, I now can say that consistently I have NO discomfort AT ALL! Doesn't matter the position or anything!!!

For those who can take hope from this post, I give you a hug. For those that are blushing, well, so am I (I don't usually share my bedroom stories...I am, after all, a prissy old lady....ROFL!).

Hugs, Kathi
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Comments

  • khl8
    khl8 Member Posts: 807
    Kathi!!!!!
    So happy you were

    Kathi!!!!!
    So happy you were able to overcome the obstacles and get that part of your life back! Just like riding a bike huh? you never forget how! LOL
    Kathy
  • John23
    John23 Member Posts: 2,122
    Even lousy sex beats having cancer..


    I'm not too sure -I'd- look forward to the penetration part
    (even with preparation)...... but I'd try anything at least once.


    John
  • TxKayaker
    TxKayaker Member Posts: 176
    John23 said:

    Even lousy sex beats having cancer..


    I'm not too sure -I'd- look forward to the penetration part
    (even with preparation)...... but I'd try anything at least once.


    John

    Seems someone got their
    Seems someone got their groove back!!!
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111
    Have Fun
    and enjoy this part of your life that was taken from you for a period of time. Oh, and when is that stripper pole being installed?

    Take care - Tina
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
    geotina said:

    Have Fun
    and enjoy this part of your life that was taken from you for a period of time. Oh, and when is that stripper pole being installed?

    Take care - Tina

    I
    Don't know what the preparations are, but I gave up, it just hurts too much when I try and do it. :(

    Hugsss!
    ~Donna
  • RickMurtagh
    RickMurtagh Member Posts: 586
    Painless
    Painless sex! Wow - congrats! My wife usually just tells me to stop biting and her pain usually goes away in a few days!

    Unfortunately for me my limpdyck system is not working at all.
  • WinneyPooh
    WinneyPooh Member Posts: 318
    5 YEARS, STILL HERE TO !!!
    kATHI ITS GREAT TO KNOW FIVE YEARS IS POSSIBLE, HAPPY FOR YOU AND EVEN MORE SWEET TO KNOW ALL WILL HEAL EVENTUALLY, i HAD RADIATION IN JAN, AND FEB THIS YEAR, AND WATER STILL HURTS,

    I FIND MOMMENTS WHERE I DON'T TOTALLY BLAME MY HUSBAND WHEN HE COMPLAINS, I AM COMPLAINING TOO BUT IT'S NONSENSE TO YELL AT ONESELF.

    HE TENDS TO FORGET, HE STILL CAN, I CAN'T, NOT EVEN SOLO, SORRY TO BE SO BLUNT BUT IT NEEDS TO BE SAID,

    GUYS AND GALS ALIKE, THE ONE WHO CAN'T DO IT, DUE TO THIS LOVELY LITTLE CANCER ( HA). WE STILL WANT TO. BUT MUST I SAY AGAIN WE CAN'T. SO LETS HUG AND LETS PLAY A GAME.

    AND CONGRADS TO YOUR HUSBAND, OR WHOM EVERY STAYED TRUE TO YOU. YOU BOTH AND ALL OUR CAREGIVER BY OUR SIDE,

    THANK YOU FOR STAYING, WE'RE GLAD TO BE HERE, AND WE ARE ALL JUST DOING OUR BEST.

    KIND OF SUBJECT, BUT NEEDS TO BE SAID,

    LIVE,LOVE,PLAY
    WINNIE
  • 5 YEARS, STILL HERE TO !!!
    kATHI ITS GREAT TO KNOW FIVE YEARS IS POSSIBLE, HAPPY FOR YOU AND EVEN MORE SWEET TO KNOW ALL WILL HEAL EVENTUALLY, i HAD RADIATION IN JAN, AND FEB THIS YEAR, AND WATER STILL HURTS,

    I FIND MOMMENTS WHERE I DON'T TOTALLY BLAME MY HUSBAND WHEN HE COMPLAINS, I AM COMPLAINING TOO BUT IT'S NONSENSE TO YELL AT ONESELF.

    HE TENDS TO FORGET, HE STILL CAN, I CAN'T, NOT EVEN SOLO, SORRY TO BE SO BLUNT BUT IT NEEDS TO BE SAID,

    GUYS AND GALS ALIKE, THE ONE WHO CAN'T DO IT, DUE TO THIS LOVELY LITTLE CANCER ( HA). WE STILL WANT TO. BUT MUST I SAY AGAIN WE CAN'T. SO LETS HUG AND LETS PLAY A GAME.

    AND CONGRADS TO YOUR HUSBAND, OR WHOM EVERY STAYED TRUE TO YOU. YOU BOTH AND ALL OUR CAREGIVER BY OUR SIDE,

    THANK YOU FOR STAYING, WE'RE GLAD TO BE HERE, AND WE ARE ALL JUST DOING OUR BEST.

    KIND OF SUBJECT, BUT NEEDS TO BE SAID,

    LIVE,LOVE,PLAY
    WINNIE

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    Graci,
    I am so sorry you

    Graci,

    I am so sorry you went through all this pain! It sounds like you had very insensitive nurses working on a very sensitive part of the body.
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    Woohoo!
    Kathi,

    That's why we need this board. Seriously, who among us would be brave enough to approach a doctor about this. This is the kind of sharing that is so special about this board.

    And, gee, if we don't hear from you for awhile, we might be able to guess why! *grins*

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,715 Member
    Had radiation Jan/Feb of 2009 and have only been able to make love about three times since.
    Told my doctor about it in December when having my pap and he suggested that I use a dilator. Try to use it daily but always forget. It comes in different sizes so you can gradually move up. You only need to use it 10 minutes at a time so it's not real time consuming. I just have to be more diligent since my husband has been so patient with me. Ok starting tomorrow it will be every day :) (fingers crossed) So happy for you Kathi, that is encouraging news and glad you brought it up.

    Kim
  • msccolon
    msccolon Member Posts: 1,917
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    OMG don't get me started on caths
    Just knowing I'm going to be cathed makes me cry. it doesn't really hurt, but I'm a blubbering idiot as soon as I find out. I've always gotten pretty good sympathy from the nurses, I think you must have gotten a couple of idiots! I definitely would have put my hands down there and blocked access until they sent someone with a clue! Anybody who deals with cancer survivors has got to have heart and understand what treatments can take out of us! We can only be strong so many hours, sometimes minutes, of a day!

    Kathi, I'm so glad to hear you are back to being able to enjoy sex as much as prior to your cancer journey; that's a really big milestone! If it doesn't provide pain, the hit in the physical looks department can be a hard hurdle to jump! I'm so happy for the both of you!
    mary
  • tiny one
    tiny one Member Posts: 465
    radiation
    I had radiation in 2007. Is it possible to stretch the area out after this long of time? I have started doing this and then stop shortly after. What worked for you? How long of a time did it take? The gynecologist in my area don't know a whole lot about damage from radiation.
  • tiny one said:

    radiation
    I had radiation in 2007. Is it possible to stretch the area out after this long of time? I have started doing this and then stop shortly after. What worked for you? How long of a time did it take? The gynecologist in my area don't know a whole lot about damage from radiation.

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • Kathryn_in_MN
    Kathryn_in_MN Member Posts: 1,252
    Congrats and thank you
    No radiation for me (colon not rectal), but if the last procedure I'd had for my cervical cancer didn't work, my next step was radiation. My OB/GYN explained it all to me. As a newlywed at the time, it really scared me.

    So for anyone just starting this journey or part-way into it, to hear from someone else that they have returned to normal is very encouraging! Hearing things from another patient, rather than a doctor makes it easier to relate and believe it is possible. Thanks for sharing!
  • classicman
    classicman Member Posts: 34
    I understand your problems,
    I understand your problems, and as a member of the oppisite sex, i to have experienced problems. #1 my colon cancer surgery was in late Augtust 09, and its been almost a year, encluding my reversal and more chemo, but my area at the incision and my groin area is still very numb. This poses a person problem when it comes to contact before sex, my girlfriend/life partner is very understanding, and has the patience of an angel, but the feelings just arent there, Has any of you guys had this problem???
  • coloCan
    coloCan Member Posts: 1,944 Member

    I understand your problems,
    I understand your problems, and as a member of the oppisite sex, i to have experienced problems. #1 my colon cancer surgery was in late Augtust 09, and its been almost a year, encluding my reversal and more chemo, but my area at the incision and my groin area is still very numb. This poses a person problem when it comes to contact before sex, my girlfriend/life partner is very understanding, and has the patience of an angel, but the feelings just arent there, Has any of you guys had this problem???

    Don't know if its results of radiation or colostomy (or both)but
    things (or, more precisely-thing)ain't worked right since surgery.....Caregiving girlfriend is good with that. I can live like this (tho I'd rather not) but no more surgeries unless utterly necessary and this don't qualify, at least according to me, for me.....steve
  • dschreffler
    dschreffler Member Posts: 58

    I understand your problems,
    I understand your problems, and as a member of the oppisite sex, i to have experienced problems. #1 my colon cancer surgery was in late Augtust 09, and its been almost a year, encluding my reversal and more chemo, but my area at the incision and my groin area is still very numb. This poses a person problem when it comes to contact before sex, my girlfriend/life partner is very understanding, and has the patience of an angel, but the feelings just arent there, Has any of you guys had this problem???

    Check out the male centric
    Check out the male centric thread ;-) Maybe you can report there and see if you get more response.

    http://csn.cancer.org/node/190543

    I've only completed the neoadjunctive chemo/radiation and after having ended that 10 weeks ago, somewhat back to normal. Had more of a mental lack of interest, but have been doing 30-60 minutes of exercise a day and getting energy back all around.

    This is one of the concerns, nerve damage, that has taken me so long to examine surgical options in terms of long term quality of life issues.
  • dasspears
    dasspears Member Posts: 227
    Thanks for bringing up this subject!!!
    I had anal cancer and radiation to that area cause a few "problems". After 2 years, it's better but not like before! Hopefully, with continued Uh hum, exercise, it will return to some semblance of normalcy.
  • dasspears
    dasspears Member Posts: 227

    Had radiation Jan/Feb of 2009 and have only been able to make love about three times since.
    Told my doctor about it in December when having my pap and he suggested that I use a dilator. Try to use it daily but always forget. It comes in different sizes so you can gradually move up. You only need to use it 10 minutes at a time so it's not real time consuming. I just have to be more diligent since my husband has been so patient with me. Ok starting tomorrow it will be every day :) (fingers crossed) So happy for you Kathi, that is encouraging news and glad you brought it up.

    Kim

    Me too....
    I have the graduated set. But after working all day then coming home, fixing dinner, etc., it's not like I want to "insert" and sit. I'm afraid I'll fall asleep! But like you, I do need to be more diligent as it has helped alot.