“The Road to Ruin” – At the Financial Crossroads – A Sundance Update

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Comments

  • Kathryn_in_MN
    Kathryn_in_MN Member Posts: 1,252 Member
    I have confidence
    I have confidence that you'll find a solution. You just needed to get this out, take a break, and go back and tackle it.

    Lots of good ideas thrown out there. It was good you took the time to vent and lift the load that has been weighing you down. The financial tragedies that cancer creates for families is kind of swept under the rug too often. We've exhausted what was left of our home equity loan (which was supposed to go to a few problems with the house that need fixing). We've exhausted our savings. We've taken a small loan from my parents. And next we are probably going to take a small loan from my father-in-law. I applied for a grant from a local founation and got $500 in the form of a mixture of Cub Foods and Holiday Gas cards. A huge help for us! The Angel Foundation in the Twin Cities area rocks!

    I have a hard time asking for help, but decided I spent a lot of years doing a lot of volunteering, and I've given a lot to various causes over my lifetime. So if I need to ask for a little back in return now, I shouldn't feel guilty about it.

    I have one more suggestion for you - I may have missed it if someone already suggested it here - but ask at your oncologist's office if they can point you in the direction of any help. Mine sure helped me out by telling my about the Angel Foundation. I have a request in with Angel Clean by Green Darlene too. I may be able to get a couple of house cleanings to help me out too.

    Ask around, see what is out there that you can benefit from.
  • lizzydavis
    lizzydavis Member Posts: 893

    I have confidence
    I have confidence that you'll find a solution. You just needed to get this out, take a break, and go back and tackle it.

    Lots of good ideas thrown out there. It was good you took the time to vent and lift the load that has been weighing you down. The financial tragedies that cancer creates for families is kind of swept under the rug too often. We've exhausted what was left of our home equity loan (which was supposed to go to a few problems with the house that need fixing). We've exhausted our savings. We've taken a small loan from my parents. And next we are probably going to take a small loan from my father-in-law. I applied for a grant from a local founation and got $500 in the form of a mixture of Cub Foods and Holiday Gas cards. A huge help for us! The Angel Foundation in the Twin Cities area rocks!

    I have a hard time asking for help, but decided I spent a lot of years doing a lot of volunteering, and I've given a lot to various causes over my lifetime. So if I need to ask for a little back in return now, I shouldn't feel guilty about it.

    I have one more suggestion for you - I may have missed it if someone already suggested it here - but ask at your oncologist's office if they can point you in the direction of any help. Mine sure helped me out by telling my about the Angel Foundation. I have a request in with Angel Clean by Green Darlene too. I may be able to get a couple of house cleanings to help me out too.

    Ask around, see what is out there that you can benefit from.

    Craig - This is some tough love!
    Hi Craig,

    This is some tough love for you. Do not give up! Now is the time to work harder and get those tests and surgery done. By working harder, you should get a form letter typed which includes much of the information in this post (but maybe a little shorter -lol). Customize this letter to reflect each organization. Tell them your story and ask for their help. Send it to your State of Texas agencies (DSS, Health & Human Services, etc.) Also, send it to the churches and synagogues in your area (you do not have to be a member at many of these. Send one to Joel Osteen. Send a letter to the American Cancer Society, Colon Cancer Alliance, C3, Lance Armstrong organization, United Way, write your physicians, your politicians, and the list goes on & on. Get busy and put those letters out there. You have nothing to lose but a few stamps and much to gain.

    I have extra time on my hands, if I can help by gathering addresses & names, let me know.

    Please accept money you are offered too. It would not be offered if they could not afford it no matter how much it is. It helps the giver as much as the receiver. I know that you will pay it forward when you are able. You gave all of your friends such a nice CD gift which meant a lot to us and most especially the thought behind it.

    I love you Craig and we all need you here!
  • grammadebbie
    grammadebbie Member Posts: 464
    Dearest Craig,
    I am sorry

    Dearest Craig,

    I am sorry that you are facing so many obstacles in your treatment. You have always been such a warrior and encouragement to all. Now is the time for you to do what is best for Craig. I have been contemplating how to reply to your post. I sit here with tears running down my face wondering how I could possibly offer anything that would comfort you. There have been so many good ideas already posted. I guess the only thing I have to offer is from the heart and from experience.

    My husband and I have lost our home and investments. Alot of that was a choice, to some degree, that we made. I was so sick for 3 years and during the cancer surgery and treatment I needed my husband by my side. I had alot of pain and fear and he was my rock. I needed him more than his paycheck. I guess it doesn't really matter why we couldn't afford to keep everything... cancer seems to be a good enough reason to those of us who are fighting it. We were on Cobra and lost our insurance so I am now on Medicare/Medicaid and disability. But I am here fighting. It's easier for us as our kids are grown and we don't have that worry. What I'm trying to say is.....let it all go if you have to. I know it's hard but when it's all gone you have what is important. The love of your family and friends. We fought hard to keep our home and it didn't work out. We have wonderful family who love us and help us. God works things out. The main thing is for you to be able to get the treatment you need - anyway you can. I have a social worker at my hospital that helped us thru the insurance maze. She is my angel. Hopefully you can find someone to help you and give you your options. There are alot of hoops to jump thru but you know all about hoops!!! I know it's hard not to worry about the stability of your family, but Craig, you are their rock. They need you..not a house. you can make a home anywhere. We went from a 3600 sq ft home to living with relatives. It has been a blessing to all. You just never realize how much you don't need. We all need you to be able to continue treatment. I'm just saying....do what it takes...you are more important than any material possession.

    It is so hard to have to deal with all this "stuff" when you're fighting for your life. Remember, you are a warrior and you will win this war, one battle at a time.

    Your in my thoughts and prayers always.

    Your friend,

    Debbie (gramma)
  • JDuke
    JDuke Member Posts: 438

    Dearest Craig,
    I am sorry

    Dearest Craig,

    I am sorry that you are facing so many obstacles in your treatment. You have always been such a warrior and encouragement to all. Now is the time for you to do what is best for Craig. I have been contemplating how to reply to your post. I sit here with tears running down my face wondering how I could possibly offer anything that would comfort you. There have been so many good ideas already posted. I guess the only thing I have to offer is from the heart and from experience.

    My husband and I have lost our home and investments. Alot of that was a choice, to some degree, that we made. I was so sick for 3 years and during the cancer surgery and treatment I needed my husband by my side. I had alot of pain and fear and he was my rock. I needed him more than his paycheck. I guess it doesn't really matter why we couldn't afford to keep everything... cancer seems to be a good enough reason to those of us who are fighting it. We were on Cobra and lost our insurance so I am now on Medicare/Medicaid and disability. But I am here fighting. It's easier for us as our kids are grown and we don't have that worry. What I'm trying to say is.....let it all go if you have to. I know it's hard but when it's all gone you have what is important. The love of your family and friends. We fought hard to keep our home and it didn't work out. We have wonderful family who love us and help us. God works things out. The main thing is for you to be able to get the treatment you need - anyway you can. I have a social worker at my hospital that helped us thru the insurance maze. She is my angel. Hopefully you can find someone to help you and give you your options. There are alot of hoops to jump thru but you know all about hoops!!! I know it's hard not to worry about the stability of your family, but Craig, you are their rock. They need you..not a house. you can make a home anywhere. We went from a 3600 sq ft home to living with relatives. It has been a blessing to all. You just never realize how much you don't need. We all need you to be able to continue treatment. I'm just saying....do what it takes...you are more important than any material possession.

    It is so hard to have to deal with all this "stuff" when you're fighting for your life. Remember, you are a warrior and you will win this war, one battle at a time.

    Your in my thoughts and prayers always.

    Your friend,

    Debbie (gramma)

    Craig
    I have been out of town a couple of days and missed this post. I am sad to hear that you have been put in such a stressful situation. Like you and many others on this board, cancer has certainly taken its toll on our finances as well. I am confident that you will find a way to continue taking care of things, that is what you do. You are such a sincere individual and that will serve you well as you put together a plan to get the attention you deserve which will bring you the help you need. I will be praying that it will all come together and that your health will not be compromised in the meantime. You are an inspiration to us all. The heartfelt messages on this thread are confirmation of now much you mean to all of us. Hang in there my friend.
    Blessings to you,
    Joanne
  • jams67
    jams67 Member Posts: 925 Member
    email
    Hey, check your email. Sorry I missed your note and I've finally responded. So embarrassed. I'll not let that happen again anytime soon. Jo Ann
  • Mchapp
    Mchapp Member Posts: 95
    jams67 said:

    email
    Hey, check your email. Sorry I missed your note and I've finally responded. So embarrassed. I'll not let that happen again anytime soon. Jo Ann

    You are the heart and sole
    Craig,
    You are the heart and sole of CSN - we ALL love your posts and you are a true inspiration to me - you were the first to welcome me here...We ALL need you here...don't you give up and don't let the cash flow be the dictator....you have fought long and hard - and still have lots of fight in you....reschedule your appointments and keep the fight!
    Michelle
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    Mchapp said:

    You are the heart and sole
    Craig,
    You are the heart and sole of CSN - we ALL love your posts and you are a true inspiration to me - you were the first to welcome me here...We ALL need you here...don't you give up and don't let the cash flow be the dictator....you have fought long and hard - and still have lots of fight in you....reschedule your appointments and keep the fight!
    Michelle

    Thank You Everyone!!!
    Just wanted to thank everyone again for all of your help and suggestions. I feel so embarassed to have opened this post, when everyone else has so much going on. I should not have opened the post, I let my emotions get the better end of my normally sound judgment. I'm ashamed.

    I've always tried to portray strength and comfort here on the board, and just got weak there where I should have kept my big mouth shut.

    Your stories are inspirational, in reading your replies, I realize how so many of you have it so much rougher than ourselves. Seeing how you are handling things, has given me new insight on this type of fight we face in our battles and how to persevere.

    Thank you for your concern and your willingness to come up with ideas - really smart people here.

    Thank you all for being you :)

    -Craig
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673 Member
    Sundanceh said:

    Thank You Everyone!!!
    Just wanted to thank everyone again for all of your help and suggestions. I feel so embarassed to have opened this post, when everyone else has so much going on. I should not have opened the post, I let my emotions get the better end of my normally sound judgment. I'm ashamed.

    I've always tried to portray strength and comfort here on the board, and just got weak there where I should have kept my big mouth shut.

    Your stories are inspirational, in reading your replies, I realize how so many of you have it so much rougher than ourselves. Seeing how you are handling things, has given me new insight on this type of fight we face in our battles and how to persevere.

    Thank you for your concern and your willingness to come up with ideas - really smart people here.

    Thank you all for being you :)

    -Craig

    Craig,
    Please don't feel

    Craig,

    Please don't feel embarrased; feel loved + cared about.

    You have shown strength, courage, comfort, etc. on the board, but you are human + you needed a wee bit of help; that is very normal! Take good care of yourself!
  • lizzydavis
    lizzydavis Member Posts: 893
    AnneCan said:

    Craig,
    Please don't feel

    Craig,

    Please don't feel embarrased; feel loved + cared about.

    You have shown strength, courage, comfort, etc. on the board, but you are human + you needed a wee bit of help; that is very normal! Take good care of yourself!

    This was a great post, Craig.
    This was a great post, Craig. It made us start thinking about what happens to our friends and what we might need to do in the future. It also is an informative session which others can benefit from too.
  • kimby
    kimby Member Posts: 797
    Sundanceh said:

    Thank You Everyone!!!
    Just wanted to thank everyone again for all of your help and suggestions. I feel so embarassed to have opened this post, when everyone else has so much going on. I should not have opened the post, I let my emotions get the better end of my normally sound judgment. I'm ashamed.

    I've always tried to portray strength and comfort here on the board, and just got weak there where I should have kept my big mouth shut.

    Your stories are inspirational, in reading your replies, I realize how so many of you have it so much rougher than ourselves. Seeing how you are handling things, has given me new insight on this type of fight we face in our battles and how to persevere.

    Thank you for your concern and your willingness to come up with ideas - really smart people here.

    Thank you all for being you :)

    -Craig

    Weakness
    Craig,

    This post is not a sign of weakness, but one of courage and strenth - as usual. That is what makes you so special, you're willingness to open up and share your story. Thank you for that courage. It isn't easy to do that. We need that here.

    It's easy to tell others what's best for their situation and stay at arm's length. It's much harder to tell your own story and expose yourself that way.

    It comes back to the gift you give when you let others help you. You help all of us so much and we want the chance to do the same.

    Kimby
    Outwit. Outplay. Outlast.
  • maglets
    maglets Member Posts: 2,576 Member
    kimby said:

    Weakness
    Craig,

    This post is not a sign of weakness, but one of courage and strenth - as usual. That is what makes you so special, you're willingness to open up and share your story. Thank you for that courage. It isn't easy to do that. We need that here.

    It's easy to tell others what's best for their situation and stay at arm's length. It's much harder to tell your own story and expose yourself that way.

    It comes back to the gift you give when you let others help you. You help all of us so much and we want the chance to do the same.

    Kimby
    Outwit. Outplay. Outlast.

    weakness
    No my friend not weakness...Kimby is right. (Kimby always has been one smart cookie) :)
    It is more important to tell the truth about how you are feeling. I feel we often go wrong on this board when we do tell one another what to do. I personally do not like any conflict. I think you are right Craig that the board works best when showing caring, love and diversity....I just tend to run away when there is conflict.

    This thread has been an eye-opener for me...it never occurred to me that people actually lose their houses whilst trying to pay for treatment. What kind of naive Canadian space have I been sitting in????

    Thank you Craig for telling your story and allowing others to do the same. I wish I could help you all....

    hugs
    mags
  • dianetavegia
    dianetavegia Member Posts: 1,942 Member
    $2,000 tomorrow........... WHAT?
    The hospital called and wanted me to bring over $2,000 tomorrow for my CT Scan. $600. deductible plus $1500 out of pocket and 20% of the cost. We ended the call with me giving her our monthly income amount and her promising to give me a sheet of paper that would qualify me for assistance (paid in full). Whew... gave me a tummy ache!
  • abmb
    abmb Member Posts: 311
    Sundanceh said:

    Thank You Everyone!!!
    Just wanted to thank everyone again for all of your help and suggestions. I feel so embarassed to have opened this post, when everyone else has so much going on. I should not have opened the post, I let my emotions get the better end of my normally sound judgment. I'm ashamed.

    I've always tried to portray strength and comfort here on the board, and just got weak there where I should have kept my big mouth shut.

    Your stories are inspirational, in reading your replies, I realize how so many of you have it so much rougher than ourselves. Seeing how you are handling things, has given me new insight on this type of fight we face in our battles and how to persevere.

    Thank you for your concern and your willingness to come up with ideas - really smart people here.

    Thank you all for being you :)

    -Craig

    meltdown
    Craig, if you can't have an emotional meltdown here, where else could you have one. Everyone here understands, it is a tough time for you right now, and you have every right to vent your feeling, emotions, and anger with this disease right here where others can lend you Prayers, support through kind words or some help with advice. Take care and keep posting. Just know that you have helped a lot of people with your support here on this board. When I come on, I look for a post to see how you are doing. You have given me info when I needed it for my husband and the only thing I can offer you is my Prayers. Please keep your Faith and I believe God is listening. God Bless.
    Margaret
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    Praying for you
    Hey, Craig.

    I just wanted to tell you that I put you on the prayer list for my Sunday School class and by Bible study.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
    lisa42 said:

    Craig- my thoughts & also an idea
    Hi Craig,

    Wish I could give you a hug right now- I'm sending it across the miles. I'm sorry- this is so lousy. You said it well when you said you don't realize what you have until it isn't there anymore. Up until recently, I had everything paid for- I mean everything. I didn't pay one cent for scans and not one cent for my liver surgery and week long hospital stay. Wow- do I value what I have had- huge expenses completely covered. And now I've been balking because they dare to not cover something anymore. I still think it should be covered (the chemo gemcitabine), but it certainly puts it all in perspective. Like you've said, our income w/ my husband's work and my disability actually have us doing fairly decently financially, thankfully. But it did get tougher when we started having to shell out the $1500 a month out of pocket for health insurance 2-1/2 yrs ago(my school district used to cover the entire family at zero cost to me). Now add on monthly payments of my chemo and likely future procedures, we won't be doing very well anymore. Even with the monthly medical expenses starting up, we're considered to be making "too much". It doesn't seem that they take into consideration the very high cost of living in southern California either. When the average cost of a house here (even in this economy) still runs between $600K-$800K (and that does not give you a mansion, by ANY means!), you know that we have to make more to just survive here. My husband and I have even given thought to moving somewhere where it's less expensive to live, but that's about impossible because my husband's work ties him to California and we have family here that we'd hate to leave and we'd hate to uproot the kids. So, we're staying put- don't think we could even sell our house if we tried, anyhow- houses in our neighborhood have been on the market for over a year.
    Craig, I know I haven't had it anywhere near as tough as you, but I'm worried we'll be heading in that direction soon with having to dish out of pocket for uncovered "experimental" drugs and procedures in my future. I'm sorry you have gotten to that financial point where you just can't do it anymore& don't qualify for financial aid or help either. Lousy- stinks- it's HORRIBLE! It seems like there would have to be somewhere to turn- keep unturning rocks in that area. I know it's tough, though, because if we were making 400% of the national poverty level (which is what they're now going by in talking about the nat'l healthcare plan of who "needs financial help")- we wouldn't even be able to afford a two bedroom apartment around here, let alone a house. If you own a house and a couple of cars, they look at those assets as well, which also "helps" disqualify you from any financial aid.
    We're doing okay for now, but your heartfelt message really struck a chord with me- I may be there sooner than I realize, too. It's a CRIME that anyone has to be stuck in the position of saving their lives vs. paying the bills!
    **Have you written/emailed your Texas state Congressmen and Senators about your situation? Especially since you had the media exposure with the DaVinci surgery, I bet you could get someone from a newstation to do a story on your difficult situation right now. Health care issues are hot in the news right now & I think that'd be a good thing for you to try to do! Maybe some good would come out of it for you, in someone seeing you/hearing your story and finding a way to get you help. Maybe someone even would step forward and donate to you. I'm getting excited with the thought, Craig! You can do this- write to your Congressmen, Senators, anyone you can think of- and contact your local and state newspapers, as well as the newschannel that covered your DaVinci story before!
    Ok- here's a new plan for you... what do you think??

    Hugs,
    Lisa-

    Home Loan Modification
    Lisa. have you looked in getting a modification done on your home? With your cancer and bills you just may be able to get one. I would give it a try. They bring down the home loan to it's current value, or give you a lower interest rate? and other options.

    Contact these folks if you are interested and they will let you know if they think you qualify, then you need to contact your mortgage company to send you a packet.

    https://www.hopenow.com/
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
    tootsie1 said:

    Praying for you
    Hey, Craig.

    I just wanted to tell you that I put you on the prayer list for my Sunday School class and by Bible study.

    *hugs*
    Gail

    Home Loan Modification
    Lisa. have you looked in getting a modification done on your home? With your cancer and bills you just may be able to get one. I would give it a try. They bring down the home loan to it's current value, or give you a lower interest rate? and other options.

    Contact these folks if you are interested and they will let you know if they think you qualify, then you need to contact your mortgage company to send you a packet.

    https://www.hopenow.com/
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
    tootsie1 said:

    Praying for you
    Hey, Craig.

    I just wanted to tell you that I put you on the prayer list for my Sunday School class and by Bible study.

    *hugs*
    Gail

    Home Loan Modification
    Lisa. have you looked in getting a modification done on your home? With your cancer and bills you just may be able to get one. I would give it a try. They bring down the home loan to it's current value, or give you a lower interest rate? and other options.

    Contact these folks if you are interested and they will let you know if they think you qualify, then you need to contact your mortgage company to send you a packet.

    https://www.hopenow.com/
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
    Nana b said:

    Home Loan Modification
    Lisa. have you looked in getting a modification done on your home? With your cancer and bills you just may be able to get one. I would give it a try. They bring down the home loan to it's current value, or give you a lower interest rate? and other options.

    Contact these folks if you are interested and they will let you know if they think you qualify, then you need to contact your mortgage company to send you a packet.

    https://www.hopenow.com/

    Sorry to hear you are having these difficulties....
    Craig, as soon as I win the lottery, $$$$$ it's coming your way!