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New hear and have an appointment about radiation this Thursday ?

DR
Posts: 4
Joined: Mar 2010

I don't know how to feel, I guess its more numb than anything. I have been hiding from the big C word for over a year now. I had the upper lobe of my right lung removed around xmas of 2008. I have never had any symptoms and the mass was found by a chest/heart scan, due to my family's history of heart disease. Some how I felt as though I was just rushed through the system and after taking a breathing test. I was asked 'why are you here" of coarse the simple answer was, a small spot was found on my lung. I went in for a lymphoid test and it came back neg. Then I had some other tests that were already scheduled like a colostomy and wanted to get this stuff done. Then the surgeon that I first seen was leaving to another hospital, so I thought "that's OK as I would like another opinion anyway" which is an unrealistic thought. When I was in the hospital recovering from the lung surgery, an oncologist paid me a visit. At the same time that I was going thru these tests, I was in a car wreck and ended up going to even more doctors in attempting to solve my neck and arm pains. I almost went bankrupt from all the medical bills and the down turn in the economy and the missed work from the hospital stay. I worked out some of the bills with the hospital, but still I had some overwhelming debt. It took me over a year to finally settle with the insurance company and it went very well. I should not be complaining due to the fact that I am on top of all my finances. But am very scared as to my future and am thinking of all the things that I should be preparing for, if I am not here for much longer. I am only 53 and I don't even have a will in place. I have two sons that i am worried about what kind of mess I am going to leave behind, for them to deal with. I do not want my ex, their mom to have to come in and take over thing, as I am sure she is going to cuss me for being so stupid. Of coarse I was a smoker that attempted to quit so many times, I can not even count. But evidently I did not quit in time and have this terrible feeling of ending my own life. I am hoping to get them both to stop smoking and do such a stupid thing to their own health. I am thinking of all the last minute things I should be doing before this coming Thursday comes around, even though I have hope that the radiation treatments will get rid of this. I am thinking so much of all the things, that I need to get done?

Majik1
Posts: 1
Joined: Mar 2010

I start my radiation treatments tomorrow.(3/10/10) When I was first diagnosed, I didn't know what to think or how I should feel. It still feels a bit surreal to me. My three chilren are grown, but they are scared for me. I am scared too. My cancer (adenocarcinoma) is inoperatable. I will get radiation every day for the next two weeks and then I will start my chemo. People tell me to think positive. I am trying but it is so hard to think positive when I know I am dying at the young age of 50. See, I really need to work on this positive thinking stuff. Anyhoo, I wanted to reply to your posting because we seem to have something in common and I thought that maybe we could share our experiences as they occur. Good luck Thursday with your radiation. :-)gail

DR
Posts: 4
Joined: Mar 2010

I went in Thursday and I got to see on my pet scan where my problem is. I am a little shocked and a little in shock as well. I had to go back in on friday and get my first tattoo, so they know where to aim the radiation as I want him to have good aim...right. I have an appointment for an MRI brain scan on monday and that scares me a bit. I start 6 to 7 weeks of radiation on the 22nd of march and am also going to have some chemo in there as well, but they have not told me all the details about the chemo yet. I am a little concerned about what the brain scan shows and what that means?

I feel exactly the same "surreal" and I know we can come out of this OK.
So I want you to see all this as just a small bump in the road and I am feeling positive about it all! I need you to help me get thru this K !

DR

cobra1122's picture
cobra1122
Posts: 244
Joined: Jul 2009

DR,let me say I am sorry for what you are going through. If you read my bio you will find that we have a lot in common. I am 49yrs old , I was diagnosised in '08 with NSCLC in the right lung (several tumors) with mets to the lymphs, SCLC in the left lung. I have multiple health issues along with the cancer (heart problems) less than 40% of it is working now.
I did them chemo as palliative care, Carboplatin, Taxol and Avastin, it actually help and bought me more time. Tho, now I am on Hospice, I have survived for 2+yrs with cancer and everything esle, so your out look to me is very good.
My wife and I were not as fortunate as you when it comes to finances, we lost our house and everything. But I am still here, this makes me, my wife, my children, and my grandchildren very happy. You need to settle the will thing and get that done., I would say this even if there were no cancer. We are all headed in the same direction, so we all need to be somewhat prepared.
I tried to quit smoking and that lasted about 8 days, but I have cut way back, just wish I could quit.
But more than anything else, humor and a positive attitude is what is going to get you through this. It is hard, at times down right impossible to think positive, but you have to. things could always be worse, that's what I tell myself. I volunteer were my wife works as a Occupational Therapist, and I see people a lot better off than me who dont realize it and this makes me feel sad for them. They have everything to look forward to and dont see it, their wasting their lives worring about a future that isnt even here yet.
Take it one day at a time, life for today, tomorrow will be here soon enough. cherish the time you have with your sons, and enjoy life, dont let the small things build to big ones aver nothing. You can get things accomplished just by taking it easy and one at a time, otherwise if your like me you over stress yourself and nothing gets done.
What you have be through most people wont deal with in their entirer life, so take it easy and enjoy the time you have, what you have already been through should tell you how precious life is, and that every moment counts..

Our Prayers and Best Wishes to You and Your Family...,
Dan (cobra1122) and Margi Harmon

DR
Posts: 4
Joined: Mar 2010

Hey Dan, thanks for writing me, I think we can all lean on each other and beat this thing.
I know I should have a good outlook and my doctor made me feel at first like there was little hope, but he seems to have good hope for clearing this up for me now. I have a week before I start the radiation treatments and I hope to get some important things taken care of. I have let most of my friends know and they have been very supportive.

God bless you and you family
and you will be in my prays as well

DR

Suzanne80031
Posts: 4
Joined: May 2008

I had both a brain scan and an MRI looking to see if the cancer spread. The unfortunate thing is that you will have to wait several days to get the results and that can be a very scary time. Each time the doc called me with the negative reports I broke down and cried for an hour os so, I was so relieved. I was diagnosed in March 2008 with squamous cell and I am still here on earth -- with hair -- and "no evidence of disease". It was a long treatment time (2 years) and it wasn't easy, but I think I may have made it! I was Stage III (they were never sure if A or B), and the tumor was inoperable due to its location. After chemo shrunk the tumor, I had five days of Novalis TX which is the newest form of Cyberknife.

DR
Posts: 4
Joined: Mar 2010

I really don't want to know, I just want to move forward with the radiation. I am sure hoping that this new outbreak is what the surgeon said that could not all be removed? Then again I only have myself to blame and missing some chemo treatments is not a smart thing. I have my fingers crossed that nothing shows up on this MRI, I do not know of all the technical jargon as of yet, but what is the Novalis TX....cyberknife?
DR

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