why was I left behind?

pipwe1 said:

Your "purpose"
My partner died on August 4th and a social worker at Calvary Hospice recommended that I come here... she said it might help for me to see what others in my position are talking about and feeling. The first post that I find is yours Michelle and when you said that all you have done for months is care for your husband and now there is nothing it broke my heart.. I know exactly where you are coming from. The group therapy will help, I felt the same about being with a group of people and pouring my heart out. I wont lie to you, its emotional and exhausting. Im have only been to 2 meetings so far out of 10 and at both I spent the whole hour and half crying.. but I am going back and trying to deal with my pain

Just remember those screws Michelle

Thank you all for your kind
Thank you all for your kind words. I visited here often and it's comforting to me. I went to my first grief support meeting last night. I didn't speak....I couldn't. I just sat there frozen listening to others. It was a small group of people and all of them were "long time" members. I'm still raw....it had only been nine days since my husband went on his journey. I will go again to perhaps the Tuesday AM meeting. I still may not be able to talk, but I owe it to my husband to try and find some strength.

My heart breaks for you pipwe.........and yes I remember those screws. I placed them in a box on my nightstand. I also picked up my husbands ashes this morning...I talked to him all the way and said:

Ok kid (my nickname for him) We're going home now. There will be no more doctors running tests....no more hospital visits....no more 911 calls...and no more pain or suffering. Now my love we shall go home and rest until we are together in heaven....to live eternity surrounded by joy and happiness.

pipwe1 said:

butterfles or scews
I have a butterfly michelle, at my partners funeral as we were standing at the grave side people kept coming over to me and saying " did you see it? did you see the butterfly?" Butterflies were our love and as we stood there in our grief one flew down and landed on the coffin paused for a while and then flew off. I didnt see it but everyone else did, they say it was my partners way of telling us that all is well and that they are still with us. I was upset that I was the only one who didnt see it. The next day I went back to the cemetary and said " well everyone saw your sign yesterday except me, I'm not leaving until you send that butterfly back, I don't care how long it takes" It took an hour but the butterfly came back.. and I sat there silently crying but knew that all was well.

Thanks for your thoughts Michelle, maybe we can try and stay strong together through this site.

Wendy

Wendy
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh Wendy! That is a beautiful story and thank you so much for sharing it with us. Just having those "signs" from our loved ones means more than anyone who hasn't lived it to understand. That memory you will forever hold in your heart! We each have something special to help in knowing our loved ones are with us!

(((HUGS)))


PS: Here's to many more butterflies and screws!!!!!!!!!!!