Why do I dread chemo day

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Mike49
Mike49 Member Posts: 261
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I know its small of me but I have been dreading chemo day all week in anticipation. Now on the CapeOX regimen I only go in every third Monday(tuesday this week) for infusion of Oxiliplatin and then take the Xeloda for two weeks. I have just been dreading the infusion and I know I can handle it, sure I can't drink cold and generally feel like yuck for a few days but I know what it is and how I handle it so why suddenly the big psychological change. I try to keep my positive attitude.

Sorry to complain but I know you guys probably may understand. My wife is the greatest, she is my main support and God love her, I wouldn't be here now without her. Most of the rest of my family are like "how is treatment", but they really don't want to hear about it, it's just obligatory they think that they must ask.

Thanks friends for listening, my wife says I want my life back, and you know that is the most sensible thing I have heard lately.

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  • trish07
    trish07 Member Posts: 138
    #2
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    Chemo Day...
    My husband just finished that same regimen. Its not 'small' of you, its such an intrusion on your life. My husband would always get quiet and have anxiety a couple of days before his next infusion...you get that one week off after you finish the xeloda and those 7 days go by so fast!

    Even though logically you know that having the treatments are the best thing to be doing towards the betterment of your health...its only natural to have your ups and downs during the course of treatment.

    Your so right about the "how is treatment" question, they really don't want any detailed information...I always give my husband the "time to wrap it up!" look when I see they have heard all they care to. But that is just the way things are...no one can even get close to understanding what this diagnosis does to someones life if they have not experienced it. I always tell my husband not to take it personally, it is just their fear.

    Take Care, Trish
  • lizzydavis
    lizzydavis Member Posts: 893
    #3
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    You are not alone in your feelings.
    You are not alone in your feelings. I try to stay focused on the light at the end of the tunnel. I keep thinking about what is coming up in December when my treatments are over. Focus on positive & happy thoughts.
    Watch comedy TV. Those cop things are very downers. Jay Leno's new TV show will be on soon with the new TV season. Desperate Housewives is a hoot and some new ones are coming on. Stay busy. When the feelings creep up, cleanup, wash dishes, empty the trash, vacuum the car, etc. Stay busy and focus on the good points of life and what you can do. I keep telling myself that things could be a lot worse for me. I am very fortunate.
  • tiny one
    tiny one Member Posts: 465 Member
    #4
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    chemo, those were the days
    I had pretty mild side effects when I was going thru chemo. The second course I was on oxiplatin. I would get very irritable and emotional a few days before I was to receive chemo. It is hard emotionally to go thru this, even with a supportive spouse it's still hard. I also looked at it that it was one more treatment done and closer to being finished. My last chemo was Oct 31, 2007. I had a ileostomy reversal Dec 21, 2007. The recovery from this was harder than all of the cancer treatment I had. I'm still dealing with the issues from this everyday now. Find a good support group, I go to two every week and everyone there has gone thru similar treatment. It helps to be able to talk or gripe about your thoughts and feelings to others who've been thru it. Emotionally it feels like a roller coaster, some days up some days all time low. Look at the treatment as you're kicking the cancer to the curb.
  • johnnybegood
    johnnybegood Member Posts: 1,117 Member
    #5
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    tiny one said:

    chemo, those were the days
    I had pretty mild side effects when I was going thru chemo. The second course I was on oxiplatin. I would get very irritable and emotional a few days before I was to receive chemo. It is hard emotionally to go thru this, even with a supportive spouse it's still hard. I also looked at it that it was one more treatment done and closer to being finished. My last chemo was Oct 31, 2007. I had a ileostomy reversal Dec 21, 2007. The recovery from this was harder than all of the cancer treatment I had. I'm still dealing with the issues from this everyday now. Find a good support group, I go to two every week and everyone there has gone thru similar treatment. It helps to be able to talk or gripe about your thoughts and feelings to others who've been thru it. Emotionally it feels like a roller coaster, some days up some days all time low. Look at the treatment as you're kicking the cancer to the curb.

    hello
    i know just how you feel. i am no longer on chemo been done for a month and a half.i too dreaded almost every treatment. i was on the oxy and 5fu pump for 46 hours.it was hell feeling those emotions but some how we just suck up those tears and just go on.i am now currently fighting bad neuropathy and having to adjust my life to it because i feel it is taking over my body.you are not alone and take care....Godbless.....johnnybegood
  • eric38
    eric38 Member Posts: 583
    #6
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    johnnybegood said:

    hello
    i know just how you feel. i am no longer on chemo been done for a month and a half.i too dreaded almost every treatment. i was on the oxy and 5fu pump for 46 hours.it was hell feeling those emotions but some how we just suck up those tears and just go on.i am now currently fighting bad neuropathy and having to adjust my life to it because i feel it is taking over my body.you are not alone and take care....Godbless.....johnnybegood

    Chemo burnout
    I get it. The longer you get your treatments,the bigger the toll on your mind and body. It wears a little thin after a while. It gets harder to deal with over time. I`m not comparing cancer to being unemployed but it`s like the difference between being unemployed for 6 months and being unemployed for 2 years. It just takes more of a toll on your mind, body, and spirit. I just finished my 8th round of chemo and am just now at the point where I am completely dreading every treatment. I just think it is natural to feel the way you do. I pray that you will be through with your currnt treatments soon and will have a chance to renew your mind and body. The fact is you need a break and hopefully it will come soon. I just think you have chemo burn out.

    Eric ( : . )

    P.s.
    I am also doing oxy and it is a nasty drug. My body hates that stuff. Hopefully my cancer is just as repulsed by it too.
  • kmygil
    kmygil Member Posts: 876 Member
    #7
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    Chemo day
    Chemo day was no big deal at first. Then it got to be irksome. Then it became burdensome. Then it became unbearable. It aggregates over time, on your body and spirit. My last 2 treatments I had this high, whiney, chipmunk voice in my head going, "Noooo! Nooooo!" on the way to the doctor. You're normal, my friend.

    Hugs,
    Kirsten
  • msccolon
    msccolon Member Posts: 1,917 Member
    #8
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    dreading chemo
    You are MORE than normal. There's a reason the onc's office tries to make the experience as pleasant as possible. Chemo SUCKS and the body naturally wants to avoid it. I was glad I had somebody drive me to chemo cause I wouldn't go otherwise! Doesn't matter that you know it's going to kill the cancer and give you a chance for more time with your loved ones. It SUCKSSSSSSS! Ativan was my friend and it helped me get through. It has helped me get through the flash backs of my most recent experiences as well, so I certainly don't believe there's any shame in needing a little pharmaceutical help! Take care and know that you are not alone.

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