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Cancer Sucks!

robinvan
robinvan Member Posts: 1,012
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Early this week it was discovered that I have another recurrence of cancer. This time in the bone of my lower back. (*&%[email protected] enter favorite expletive here!!) This was confirmed by way of bone and CT scans after I complained of some pain in the tailbone area. I have met with my oncologist and he has referred me to the BC Cancer Agency where I will be assessed for some combination of radiation and chemo.

A little history...
Aug 2004 Dx Colon Cancer Stg.4 with liver mets
Aug 2004 Colon Rx
Oct 2004 Liver Rx (right lobe removed)
Nov 2004 3mos. FOLFOX 3 mos. FOLFIR
May 2005 NED
Oct 2006 Recurrence... single liver Met
Mar 2007 Liver RFA
May 2007 4mos. Xeloda, Irinotecan, Avastin
Oct 2007 NED
Sep 2009 Recurrence.. Sacrum/Rectum

Naturally this comes as a great disappointment at a time when Pam and I were beginning to hope that this was finally behind us. What can I say... "Cancer Sucks"!

I haven't been too active here over the last couple of years. I was taking a break from "all things cancer". I'd drop in and catch up by reading but have not been a regular poster.

Oldtimers here will remember that in 2007 I posted regularly to a Blog on the cancer journey. I will begin posting again to "A Cancer Journal" and invite you to join me there to receive regular updates, resources, and reflections. http://rob-pollock.blogspot.com/

TTFN... Rob;in Vancouver

"I wake each morning with the thrill of expectation and the joy of being alive. And I'm thankful for this day.” Angela L. Wozniak
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Comments

  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
    Hey Robin....
    It's great to see you back, I know I've read some of your posts, and so sorry the cancer has come back, yes it sure does suck, but you beat it before, and you'll beat it again, don't let it get you down, keep thinking those positive thoughts, I wish the very best for you! and keep on posting too, it's a very encouraging site, made me feel alot better too :)


    Hope to see you more, and beat that cancers a$$!!!

    Hugsss!!
    ~Donna
  • betina61
    betina61 Member Posts: 642
    Yes I remember you
    So sorry to hear about the recurrence,especially after 2 years Ned, but is another bump on the road, but you know that you will beat this again just have faith and try to keep your spirit up, and practice those beatiful words taht you wrote from Angela Wozniak.
  • kimby
    kimby Member Posts: 797
    Yep, Cancer Sucks!
    Robin,

    I'm so sorry. There are no words to make it ok. It's ok that you haven't been as active here; we all need breaks. You are still a wonderful contributer and I am honored to have your input. Your words have been inspirational and helpful. It is sometimes more difficult to give when things are going well and yet, here you have been. Thank you for what you give.

    Kimby
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,036
    Oh, dear.
    Oh, dear. I'm so sorry. I've seen some of your posts before, and I hate to read this one. Please keep us posted on how you're doing. I'll be praying for you.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • robinvan
    robinvan Member Posts: 1,012
    Shayenne said:

    Hey Robin....
    It's great to see you back, I know I've read some of your posts, and so sorry the cancer has come back, yes it sure does suck, but you beat it before, and you'll beat it again, don't let it get you down, keep thinking those positive thoughts, I wish the very best for you! and keep on posting too, it's a very encouraging site, made me feel alot better too :)


    Hope to see you more, and beat that cancers a$$!!!

    Hugsss!!
    ~Donna

    Thanks Donna
    The people on this site are so inspiring. It's a special community. Thank you for your words of encouragement.

    Rob: in Vancouver
  • robinvan
    robinvan Member Posts: 1,012
    betina61 said:

    Yes I remember you
    So sorry to hear about the recurrence,especially after 2 years Ned, but is another bump on the road, but you know that you will beat this again just have faith and try to keep your spirit up, and practice those beatiful words taht you wrote from Angela Wozniak.

    Thank You
    And it was an awesome two years!! It is nice to have such long periods of good health. I'm starting to get back into active treatment mode...

    Be well... Rob; in Vancouver
  • robinvan
    robinvan Member Posts: 1,012
    kimby said:

    Yep, Cancer Sucks!
    Robin,

    I'm so sorry. There are no words to make it ok. It's ok that you haven't been as active here; we all need breaks. You are still a wonderful contributer and I am honored to have your input. Your words have been inspirational and helpful. It is sometimes more difficult to give when things are going well and yet, here you have been. Thank you for what you give.

    Kimby

    Hi Kimby
    Thank for your words of encouragement. You know the drill. Keep on keep'n on!! I look forward to walking with you along this road for piece. And yes... we need to keep having some fun!!!

    Rob: in Vancouver
  • robinvan
    robinvan Member Posts: 1,012
    tootsie1 said:

    Oh, dear.
    Oh, dear. I'm so sorry. I've seen some of your posts before, and I hate to read this one. Please keep us posted on how you're doing. I'll be praying for you.

    *hugs*
    Gail

    Hi Gail,
    Nice to meet you. All prayers are appreciated!!

    Rob
  • impactzone
    impactzone Member Posts: 538
    I am so sorry. It just
    I am so sorry. It just sucks...I read these daily and do not always comment but your knowledge, longivity and strength helps all of us. I've been stage 4 since 9/06 with NED and 2 recurrances and I feel for you. Just a reach out a hug here from me.
    Chip
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028
    Welcome back, Robin....
    Although, I must agree, cancer does indeed suck!

    My friend's mother just passed yesterday from ovarian cancer. "We are thankful that she is no longer in pain". It amazes me when such a horrible disease can have people being thankful for death...sigh...

    Please keep us posted, I figured that you were out there living life large...we never know what happens tomorrow...

    Hugs, Kathi
  • kristasplace
    kristasplace Member Posts: 955
    Great to see you back, Rob!
    I'm so sorry the cancer is back, though...and in your sacrum of all places. Are they not considering this metastases? They thought that was a possibility with me too because the radiation had damaged my bones so badly, i now get regular fractures there.

    It's nice to see you looking on the bright side; this has to be a terrible disappointment. Your 'remissions' seem to be getting further spaced apart. Maybe that means this is the cancer's one last feeble attempt to try and take hold, and you will beat it into the ground.

    I will be sending as many positive vibes your way as i can! Please continue to post here and let us know how you're doing.

    Many hugs,
    Krista
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866
    Cancer Sucks Hard
    In Soft Places.
    Sorry to hear it's back. Get rid of it again. You've done it before Rob, now do it again.
    -phil
  • angelsbaby
    angelsbaby Member Posts: 1,165
    PhillieG said:

    Cancer Sucks Hard
    In Soft Places.
    Sorry to hear it's back. Get rid of it again. You've done it before Rob, now do it again.
    -phil

    So Sorry
    like you said cancer sucks big time, I hope they can get rid of this bone cancer, keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

    michelle
  • grammadebbie
    grammadebbie Member Posts: 464
    Keep on Fighting
    Hi Robin,

    I'm fairly new here but wanted to let you know how sorry I am about your recurrence. Sounds like you've really been going thru it. I've been dealing with the beast since Oct 2007 - wish I would have known about this forum then. Sorry you have to come back under these circumstances but sounds like you have alot to contribute here.

    I'll be praying for you and your family.

    God Bless You,

    Debbie (gramma - there is another Debbie here so I added gramma)
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392
    Canada Rob :)
    Hey Rob

    You posted to an RFA reply I had one time right when I first joined the site...you told me "RFA ROCKS!"

    I'm sorry to hear about the reoccurence too...luckily you were able to walk away a couple of times in your journey...that's always a blessing to get some time off.

    I join everybody by saying Welcome Back. Will be closely following your story.

    I hope everything goes really well...now we've got a Canadian brother...eh?

    Take care
    -Craig in TX
  • ldot123
    ldot123 Member Posts: 272
    Sundanceh said:

    Canada Rob :)
    Hey Rob

    You posted to an RFA reply I had one time right when I first joined the site...you told me "RFA ROCKS!"

    I'm sorry to hear about the reoccurence too...luckily you were able to walk away a couple of times in your journey...that's always a blessing to get some time off.

    I join everybody by saying Welcome Back. Will be closely following your story.

    I hope everything goes really well...now we've got a Canadian brother...eh?

    Take care
    -Craig in TX

    Hang In Fellow Canuk
    Really sorry to hear about your recurrence. We are all here to help. Let us know how you are doing. I know you can put this into the boards once and for all.

    Cheers, Lance
  • ldot123
    ldot123 Member Posts: 272
    Sundanceh said:

    Canada Rob :)
    Hey Rob

    You posted to an RFA reply I had one time right when I first joined the site...you told me "RFA ROCKS!"

    I'm sorry to hear about the reoccurence too...luckily you were able to walk away a couple of times in your journey...that's always a blessing to get some time off.

    I join everybody by saying Welcome Back. Will be closely following your story.

    I hope everything goes really well...now we've got a Canadian brother...eh?

    Take care
    -Craig in TX

    Hang In Fellow Canuk
    Really sorry to hear about your recurrence. We are all here to help. Let us know how you are doing. I know you can put this into the boards once and for all.

    Cheers, Lance
  • steven12
    steven12 Member Posts: 51
    ldot123 said:

    Hang In Fellow Canuk
    Really sorry to hear about your recurrence. We are all here to help. Let us know how you are doing. I know you can put this into the boards once and for all.

    Cheers, Lance

    You'll make it
    Hello Rob,
    Sorry to hear about your recurrence after two years. I am pretty sure you will make it third time. It's great to be NED twice for so long. My dx/surg/chemo was 5 yrs ago and was NED more then 3 years when I've got a recurrence. I have a question: how did you get the Avastin with the Xeliri since, as far as I know, Canadian gov. is subsidizing the Avastin only with Folfiri? I am now on Xeliri and desperately trying to get the Avastin but with no success so far.
    Best wishes to everybody
    Steven
  • usakat
    usakat Member Posts: 610
    Oh, Rob! ....
    ...spoken in my best Laura Petrie (Mary Tyler Moore on the **** Van **** Show) voice....ohhhhhh, Rob!

    Gosh Rob, I'm so sorry to hear of your news. I'm struggling to find words to express my thoughts... It's very hard sometimes to fill the space with words when all you want to...or can say is...I'm here - we're here. We truly know how much cancer does indeed suck.

    I hope it goes without saying that you and yours will be in my thoughts and prayers.

    “Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without words, and never stops at all.” Emily Dickinson

    Sending you many blessings for stamina in the new fight, purpose in the sake of it all (which I know you know), and mostly a clear and unencumbered path to healing and good health.

    Hugs,
    Katie
  • Paula G.
    Paula G. Member Posts: 596
    Damn stuff
    Hi Rob,
    Sorry to hear it's back. I joined not long ago. Husband stage 4. Sounds like you have been through a lot of crap. I will look forward to reading more of your posts because we are in the learning phase. To bad you have to jump in with both feet and hope and learn and then hope some more. I agree Cancer Sucks!!! Paula
  • mommyof2kds
    mommyof2kds Member Posts: 519
    Paula G. said:

    Damn stuff
    Hi Rob,
    Sorry to hear it's back. I joined not long ago. Husband stage 4. Sounds like you have been through a lot of crap. I will look forward to reading more of your posts because we are in the learning phase. To bad you have to jump in with both feet and hope and learn and then hope some more. I agree Cancer Sucks!!! Paula

    HI Rob, sorry to hear that
    HI Rob, sorry to hear that you are facing this ugly beast again. Yes CANCER SUCKS... Keep on fighting and you will be NED again..
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633
    It's Evil, Too
    Cancer doesn't just suck. It's just plain evil. It hides out and comes at you when you least expect it. We call it our roller coaster ride. (My husband was diagnosed stage IV 6 yrs. ago.) We finally got to the stage where we expected it to come back. Then when we went awhile without it, we were pleasantly surprised. When it did come back, we were less shocked. We look at treatment as buying time. That may be a pessimistic way to look at it, but it has worked for us. My prayers are with you. The fight continues.
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625
    so sorry
    Hi Rob,

    I definitely remember you when you posted before. Your picture makes me smile. :)
    I'm so very sorry to hear your cancer is back again. It definitely sucks big time.
    I've now had two recurrences in my two years since my original diagnosis- so I can relate and I just gave a big sigh for you. Now... onward and forward! The sighing time is over and it's on with the fight- you can do this yet once again- you can!!!

    I will be thinking of and praying for you-

    Blessings through the fight,
    Lisa
  • hopefulone
    hopefulone Member Posts: 1,043
    Your a fighter-Keep the faith
    So sorry that you and Pam are going through this again. I know first hand it can be disheartening,( my husband has had 2 reoccurrances ), but I know that you will continue the good fight and beat it again and I look forward to seeing that NED post from you! Keeping you and all in my prayers. God Bless
    Diane
  • Sonia32
    Sonia32 Member Posts: 1,071
    Hello
    Hi Rob,

    I remember months ago you replied to my post about how to get through down days. I am so sorry that you have to fight this beast yet again. But I can tell as you have gone through so much you are a strong person and you will fight this horrible beast again, really hate it BIG TIME!

    Keep us posted on how you are doing etc.

    Big hugs
    Sonia
  • fedester
    fedester Member Posts: 753
    damn rob!!
    sorry to hear the beast is back.
    step back,focus and hit the beast headon.
    you did it before so do it again.
    take care
    never,ever give up!!
    bruce
  • jenalynet
    jenalynet Member Posts: 361
    Sorry
    I feel for you but you can fight again..I too have a new recurrence and am now off of chemo until all my latest scans are reviewed so a new plan can be made..I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as I do all of us fighting the fight.. You are right, cancer sucks big time..Hugs to you, Audrey.
  • robinvan
    robinvan Member Posts: 1,012

    I am so sorry. It just
    I am so sorry. It just sucks...I read these daily and do not always comment but your knowledge, longivity and strength helps all of us. I've been stage 4 since 9/06 with NED and 2 recurrances and I feel for you. Just a reach out a hug here from me.
    Chip

    Cyber Hugs Appreciated
    Thanks Chip,
    All "cyber hugs" are gratefully received!!

    Rob; in Vancouver

    "Life is not a matter of holding good cards,
    but rather, of playing a bad hand well!"
    Robert Louis Stevenson
  • robinvan
    robinvan Member Posts: 1,012
    KathiM said:

    Welcome back, Robin....
    Although, I must agree, cancer does indeed suck!

    My friend's mother just passed yesterday from ovarian cancer. "We are thankful that she is no longer in pain". It amazes me when such a horrible disease can have people being thankful for death...sigh...

    Please keep us posted, I figured that you were out there living life large...we never know what happens tomorrow...

    Hugs, Kathi

    Hello my dear friend...
    Kathi,
    So good to see you here. Yes, I was "out there living life large". It's been good!
    As I look back through this forum I see many that "are no longer in pain". Alas!

    Rob; in Vancouver


    "Life is not a matter of holding good cards,
    but rather, of playing a bad hand well!"
    Robert Louis Stevenson
  • robinvan
    robinvan Member Posts: 1,012

    Great to see you back, Rob!
    I'm so sorry the cancer is back, though...and in your sacrum of all places. Are they not considering this metastases? They thought that was a possibility with me too because the radiation had damaged my bones so badly, i now get regular fractures there.

    It's nice to see you looking on the bright side; this has to be a terrible disappointment. Your 'remissions' seem to be getting further spaced apart. Maybe that means this is the cancer's one last feeble attempt to try and take hold, and you will beat it into the ground.

    I will be sending as many positive vibes your way as i can! Please continue to post here and let us know how you're doing.

    Many hugs,
    Krista

    Metastacies??
    I think it is. The onc said it has spread back into my rectum as well. I'm not sue if it is a met or a new primary? I'll find out a bit more when the cancer agency folks get at it.

    Positive vibes are all appreciated!

    Rob; in Vancouver

    "Life is not a matter of holding good cards,
    but rather, of playing a bad hand well!"
    Robert Louis Stevenson