CSN Login
Members Online: 5

You are here

new member. grade 3 stage 4 NHL

lindaintn's picture
Posts: 8
Joined: Jul 2009

good morning everyone. i was dx with grade 3 stage 4 NHL aug. of 07 -( second anv. of my mother's death with panc.cancer)i was 47 yrs old then. i went through the CHOP with rituxin. went well. i am currently in rituxin therapy.(go next week for 3rd(?) round. the more it get it the sicker i get. that's ok. i recover in a month or two. i still work full time. have a wonderful family. the hard part is being single. i have been single for a few years and just would like to have a companion. my best friend/companion passed away 3 months ago. miss him much! on the morning of his funeral i found a mass on my cats side. it's cancer. i will have to put him down soon. guess i am at the point of being really spiritually and emotionally numb. i am trying to find my reason for being here and my purpose in life. i am going to some meetings this week on spirituality. looking foward to that.thank you.linda
(for some reason it is saying i posted this in dec. 1969 on my preview...lol)

Posts: 19
Joined: Jun 2009

Linda , It sounds like you have had a lot these last few years. it seems to work out that way. I am sorry about your losses and that you find yourself fighting this desease. I have stage IV DLBCL I finished my CHOP in April Just waiting now. My husband died in 2004 (not from cancer) So I too am alone now. The days go alright but the nights are horrible for me so quite. My family is great also but everyone has there own life. I know what you mean I would love to have someone to share with. I wrestle with the purpose of life also. Sometimes I just want to quite. I am off treatment now and am trying to do kindnesses for people But I have been sick so long I have not been able to work sense last may. I wish I had the strength. I miss not working At least that is some purpose.I hope you meetings are helpful I am sure they will be. Take care My prayers will be with you.

I am rambling. Chemo brain lol

winthefight's picture
Posts: 162
Joined: Dec 2007


So sorry for your losses. It is tough to lose your companion and your pet all within a short period of time. But because you are a survivor, you are strong. Perhaps your purpose is to help others that either are going through this or will go through this. It's the little things we say that somehow is very healing to others.

You mentioned spirituality. Well Jesus is in the healing business, so please put your faith and trust in Him.

I am concerned about your reaction to Rituxin. Have you discussed this with your dr? Are you sure it is the Rituxin and not the pre-meds that are given before the treatments such as a steriod or anti nause meds?

I too am on a Rituxin maint schedule and get Rituxin for 4 rounds. This time, I have opt to eliminate the steriods because it blows me up and caused my eyes to darken (it looks like I have two black eyes!).

My prayers to you as you continue to heal and find your purpose.

Be blessed

lindaintn's picture
Posts: 8
Joined: Jul 2009

thank you both for your responses. that means alot to me esp. from those who are understanding of this confusing disease. I am a lamb of His, but i need more insight to follow my journey. My prayers ar also with you~

Posts: 15
Joined: Mar 2008

Hi lindaintn,
I also was diagnosed with stage 4 dlbcl and had 8 RCHOP treatments. I have been in remission two years and feel good. I have even had two other surgeries since chemo (hopefully the worst is over!). During chemo I had to put down my dog(14 yrs old) due to heart trouble but that is nothing compared to your loss of a companion. I can understand how you would feel numb. I pray that good friends and loved ones will rally around to help you through this most difficult time. You may not see a purpose in life right now but I believe God has one for each of us.
Try to rest when you can and watch your nutrition. I know both may be hard to do right now but are so important. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

lindaintn's picture
Posts: 8
Joined: Jul 2009

Thank you gagirl.

Anonymous user (not verified)

This comment has been removed by the Moderator

Subscribe to Comments for "new member. grade 3 stage 4 NHL"