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im back from the abyss

msccolon
msccolon Member Posts: 1,917
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Can you believe it? My original surgery date was 05/18 and here it is 07/19?????? I don't have the time nor the desire to check over all the postings I've missed, but Jess kept me up on her postings and your postings for me. I wanted to let you all know how much i appreciate your support, thoughts and prayers. Things went way south, none of us really expected it. As you know, I had MANY infections, and I believe incompetence was the main reason for such. Repeatedly a computer programmer and 25 year old stay at home mother were sent home to manage open wounds that licensed nurses differ on the management of. Here I sit, with the upper portion of my abdomen sewn together fascia and skin only, since the last infection management left it impossible to sew my abdominal muscles back together. Yes, you read that right, my abdominal muscles from top to bottom are busily atrophying at the sides of my abdomen, which requires me to wear an abdominal support 24/7 to stave off the inevitable hernia(s). The bottom of the abdomen is a large open wound that is finally being managed using a wound vac, which home health takes care of for me. Ativan and Vicodin get me through the changes. So much of the past 2 months has been such a dark time for me, the only way I made it through was with support from my friends and family; I deeply appreciate it. This is the first time I have been home for more than a week and haven't had to visit an ER; things feel different and I am sure i am on the road to real recovery this time. Have I said it before? cancer SUCKS!
mary

Comments

  • Julie 44
    Julie 44 Member Posts: 476
    OMG
    Mary,
    I am so sorry that youe have been through so much...It must have been horrible and scarey for you and your family.....Thank God you are on your way to recovery...I will continue to pray for your healing. JULIE
  • sheri22
    sheri22 Member Posts: 273
    GOOD ATTITUDE
    Mary

    I hope things go well for you this time you deserve it you have the attitude keep fighting and stay strong

    I will keep you in my prayers

    Sheri22
  • punch_vj
    punch_vj Member Posts: 88
    We missed You!!!
    Ms. Colon, I'm so happy you're feeling better :) Sorry that the road has been so precarious, but it's great to know it's getting much better.

    Warmly, Vee
  • kristasplace
    kristasplace Member Posts: 955
    Wow!
    Good to see you back, Mary! That wound VAC is going to help you soooo much! No one could believe how fast my ostomy wound closed because of that thing. I sure complained about having to lug it everywhere i went, but in the long run, i'm glad i had it.

    What are they going to do about your abdominal muscles? They can't just let them atrophy, can they? It sounds like you're in a lot of pain. I'm glad the medication is helping, but i know they don't normally stave all the pain. Hang in there! You're a trouper!

    Hugs,
    Krista
  • snommintj
    snommintj Member Posts: 601

    Wow!
    Good to see you back, Mary! That wound VAC is going to help you soooo much! No one could believe how fast my ostomy wound closed because of that thing. I sure complained about having to lug it everywhere i went, but in the long run, i'm glad i had it.

    What are they going to do about your abdominal muscles? They can't just let them atrophy, can they? It sounds like you're in a lot of pain. I'm glad the medication is helping, but i know they don't normally stave all the pain. Hang in there! You're a trouper!

    Hugs,
    Krista

    Infections are miserable
    I hear you loud and clear on the infection bit. Did you ever get septic? What a scary situation that is. Well, it's good to know things are looking up. I was plagued by infection for 4 months. I had countless surgeries and wound packs. I had three j-p drains and a pump all at the same time almost 2 months after my surgery, I didn't get the last one out until 4 months after. You'll be glad to know that the body heals very quickly once the infection is gone. I was feeling near perfect less than 30 days after my last drain was removed. But even better than that was the quickness with which my pain subsided. Good luck, you'll be feeling better in no time.
  • idlehunters
    idlehunters Member Posts: 1,787
    snommintj said:

    Infections are miserable
    I hear you loud and clear on the infection bit. Did you ever get septic? What a scary situation that is. Well, it's good to know things are looking up. I was plagued by infection for 4 months. I had countless surgeries and wound packs. I had three j-p drains and a pump all at the same time almost 2 months after my surgery, I didn't get the last one out until 4 months after. You'll be glad to know that the body heals very quickly once the infection is gone. I was feeling near perfect less than 30 days after my last drain was removed. But even better than that was the quickness with which my pain subsided. Good luck, you'll be feeling better in no time.

    Hey Mary...... so glad to
    Hey Mary...... so glad to see you on your way to recovery and back on the board.... we all have missed you! Take care & I will keep you in my prayers

    Jennie
  • dorookie
    dorookie Member Posts: 1,731
    Missed Ya
    You were very much missed and I am glad to see you back. I will continue to pray for a speedy and easy recovery for you my dear. Sure hope things get a bit easier for ya, hate to hear you are going through so much crap. and your right CANCER SUCKS big TIME!!!

    God Bless ya hon
    Beth
  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342
    Welcome back Mary
    Mary,
    It is so good to see you back. We have been thinking about you and praying for you. You are one very strong lady.
    Praying that you continue to feel better.
    Aloha,
    Kathleen
  • VickiCO
    VickiCO Member Posts: 917
    Mary Darlin'
    So glad you are back. I really missed you. I am sorry you have had such a hard journey. YES, CANCER SUCKS!

    Here's hoping things are finally looking up. You have a great daughter there, you know. we appreciated her postings.

    Take care and many, many hugs, Vicki
  • ADKer
    ADKer Member Posts: 147
    VickiCO said:

    Mary Darlin'
    So glad you are back. I really missed you. I am sorry you have had such a hard journey. YES, CANCER SUCKS!

    Here's hoping things are finally looking up. You have a great daughter there, you know. we appreciated her postings.

    Take care and many, many hugs, Vicki

    welcome back
    What an ordeal! It is good to hear the spit and vinegar in your post though and that there is plenty of fight in you. Best wishes for what I am sure will now be a speedy recovery.
  • kmygil
    kmygil Member Posts: 876
    So glad you're back!
    Oh Mary! I'm so sorry you have had such a horrible time of it. Yes, CANCER SUCKS BIG TIME! What are they going to do about your abdominal muscles apart from trying to prevent hernias? Will they have to sew them back together at a later date? You are so brave and feisty, and you set an example for all of us in getting through this. Just know that you continue to be in my prayers and I'm sending healing thoughts your way.

    Hugs,,
    Kirsten
  • Fight for my love
    Fight for my love Member Posts: 1,522
    Hi Mary,I am glad you are
    Hi Mary,I am glad you are finally home and glad you are on the way of recovery.Best wishes and good luck to you for everything.
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,712 **
    Glad Your Back
    You have had such a rough road and I am truly glad that you are back with us. It must seem awesome to be home and this week must be glorious for you. Sounds like you still have a lot of recouperation to do. I hope that you will recover completely very soon and be able to do something special for yourself because you deserve it after all this.

    Hugs! Kim
  • angelsbaby
    angelsbaby Member Posts: 1,165

    Glad Your Back
    You have had such a rough road and I am truly glad that you are back with us. It must seem awesome to be home and this week must be glorious for you. Sounds like you still have a lot of recouperation to do. I hope that you will recover completely very soon and be able to do something special for yourself because you deserve it after all this.

    Hugs! Kim

    Mary
    I am so sorry you had to go threw that sometime things don't go the way we like but you sound like you are feeling better i hope you get stronger every day.

    michelle
  • krystle singer
    krystle singer Member Posts: 108
    Cancer sucks, but...
    Yes, yes, yes..cancer sucks and treatment ususally sucks, but recovery sings. Hope you have a smoother path ahead and lots of times you want to vocaalize.
    God bless,
    hugs and prayers..
    Sandi
  • krystle singer
    krystle singer Member Posts: 108
    Cancer sucks, but...
    Yes, yes, yes..cancer sucks and treatment ususally sucks, but recovery sings. Hope you have a smoother path ahead and lots of times you want to vocaalize.
    God bless,
    hugs and prayers..
    Sandi
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,036
    Glad to have you back
    Mary, Mary, Mary.

    You've had such a rough few months. I just feel so sorry that you have had to go through so much (and are still dealing with it).

    It's good to have you back on here, and I hope and pray we will only hear about things getting better for you from here on out.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043
    tootsie1 said:

    Glad to have you back
    Mary, Mary, Mary.

    You've had such a rough few months. I just feel so sorry that you have had to go through so much (and are still dealing with it).

    It's good to have you back on here, and I hope and pray we will only hear about things getting better for you from here on out.

    *hugs*
    Gail

    Welcome Home
    Good to see you back........
  • donnare
    donnare Member Posts: 266
    HI
    Hi Mary,

    Sorry you have been through so much. I'm glad you are home with family and friends. I am sending prayers, hugs, and good thoughts your way.

    Donna
  • dixchi
    dixchi Member Posts: 431
    Welcome Back
    cannot believe what you have been thru; very
    happy you are recovering and back home!

    Huggs,
    Barbara
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625
    onward and forward!
    Hi Mary,

    What an awful ordeal you've been through! I'm glad to see you're now home again and are on the mend. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you to recover and feel well soon.

    Take care and blessings to you from now on-
    Lisa
  • dmdwins
    dmdwins Member Posts: 450
    lisa42 said:

    onward and forward!
    Hi Mary,

    What an awful ordeal you've been through! I'm glad to see you're now home again and are on the mend. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you to recover and feel well soon.

    Take care and blessings to you from now on-
    Lisa

    So glad you are home
    Take one day at a time. I hope you feel a little better each day!

    Dawn
  • WinneyPooh
    WinneyPooh Member Posts: 318
    SO Sorry,
    Mary,
    I am new to this whole cancer, but i have to have liver surgery in october, Did you have liver surgery, are these complictian normal, Sounds like other had same complications, is this what i can expect?
    the only part of this cancer that scares me is this. I need to know?
    Glad you seem to be road to recovery and you seem like a very strong person,
    Winney
  • regslady
    regslady Member Posts: 37
    Oh My!
    You must be incredibly frustrated by all that happened. I'm glad you feel like you are on the road to recovery...best wishes the rest of that road is speedy and stress-free.
  • regslady
    regslady Member Posts: 37
    Oh My!
    You must be incredibly frustrated by all that happened. I'm glad you feel like you are on the road to recovery...best wishes the rest of that road is speedy and stress-free.
  • rrob
    rrob Member Posts: 158
    Glad you're back!
    Mary,

    Glad you're back and sorry it's been such a rough ride. You are tough! Keep fighting and hope things start getting easier from here on out.

    Rebecca
  • msccolon
    msccolon Member Posts: 1,917
    snommintj said:

    Infections are miserable
    I hear you loud and clear on the infection bit. Did you ever get septic? What a scary situation that is. Well, it's good to know things are looking up. I was plagued by infection for 4 months. I had countless surgeries and wound packs. I had three j-p drains and a pump all at the same time almost 2 months after my surgery, I didn't get the last one out until 4 months after. You'll be glad to know that the body heals very quickly once the infection is gone. I was feeling near perfect less than 30 days after my last drain was removed. But even better than that was the quickness with which my pain subsided. Good luck, you'll be feeling better in no time.

    thank you
    I know from your past postings that you, indeed, know where I am coming from. It is good to hear that those darn infections will eventually clear up and that I have "normal" to look forward to. I just found out today that I have ANOTHER pocket of "fluid" that will require a new drain. I went in for a CT scan to see if we can remove the 2 j p drains I have on either side of my wound and that's the new news. My new surgeon hasn't read the scans yet, so he couldn't say if those 2 can be removed, but there will be a new drain in my abdomen in the next day or so. After the initial shock and disappointment, I once again am ready to move on.
  • msccolon
    msccolon Member Posts: 1,917
    thank you everyone
    for your responses. I appreciate them all. As far as the abdominal muscles, they will be left to atrophy until such a time in the future when I will need hernia repair surgery. Yea, more surgery. Not sure if they can do the entire abdomen at once, since it will obviously require that mesh stuff, and how the heck will they get it all to come back together???? Not my concern right now, however, I've got infections to heal, food to eat, and possibly some surgeons to sue :). And no, while complications like mine aren't RARE, they certainly aren't normal. I've had 2 previous abdominal surgeries with NO such complications.

    Thankfully I had extra weight at the time of original surgery, these infections, etc sure have eaten through the extra! It's still hard to tell just how much weight I've lost, but I sure am looking thin! I jump on the scale regularly to make sure I don't continue to lose weight, however, to satisfy my daughters :). Take care everyone and maybe it won't be so long until I get on again!
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