Just got PET scan results..... I am a mess.... HELP ME!!!!

idlehunters
idlehunters Member Posts: 1,787 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I can barely see through the tears to type this... my hands are shaking uncontrollably. I had to come here for some answers. I have never felt such despair in all my life. This is the first pet scan i have had since surgery. I have been nervously awaiting results. The tumor that was removed had grown thru the colon and into the abdominal wall. The doc informed me a small spot was seen on the pet in my liver. now i am a stage 4. is this my death sentence? once u r a stage 4 aren't they just treating your cancer trying to prolong your life? There is no way it will just subside at this point is there? i am facing continual treatments until my death...and how long will that be....months??? how do i tell my kids... oh my god....oh my god....oh my god... can they do surgery and cut it out of me? they are talking chemo first...they say that should take care of it.... then if it does do they put me back to a stage 3.... this all confuses me. anybody out there sharing anything similar???? Please tell me your stories...advice...any input would be greatly appreciated.

Jennie

Do you think I should get a second opinion? Like at that big facility "Cancer Centers of America"?
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Comments

  • kimby
    kimby Member Posts: 797
    Breathe, Jennie, Breathe
    Jennie,

    I mean that. Sit quietly for just a moment and take some deep breaths. Quiet. Calm. OK, here we go.

    Been there, done that. It is absolutely NOT a death sentence! You will find many long term stage IV folks here and they will be in later to respond. Right now they are at work or out living their lives! They are NOT in treatment. You will have a LOT of treatment options from where you're at. Much more than chemo and if you are a surgical candidate, I want to celebrate with you! You will always be considered stage IV. Not to worry, you can do this. Yes, there are some of us in continuous treatment - long-term. If that turns out to be your fate, just know that we still LIVE. I have a wonderful, joyful, full life. And you get to play the canzer card for quite awhile... :) I really am a spoiled brat!

    You need a major comprehensive canzer center from now on if you aren't already there. You need a TEAM that consists of: a medical oncologist (chemo guy), a radiation onc, and a surgical onc. If you can get an interventional onc on the team, do that. I will post a link to the NCI CCC's list by state at the bottom of this post. Use it if you need it. This is the time to find the big guns. My team is part of the GI canzer clinic - liver specialties. They only deal with gi related canzers with mets to the liver. The best and the brightest.

    I'm a snob about this because I started at the small local clinic (stage III), moved to the medium sized clinic 35 miles away for follow up, progressed to stage IV and moved to the big guys 75 miles away. They made this NEAD status possible for me. I would be dead otherwise, I'm convinced.

    http://cancercenters.cancer.gov/cancer_centers/cancer-centers-list.html

    I'm logged into the empty chat room now if you want to talk or you can pm me. I'll be online for a little while.

    Hugs,

    Kimby
  • JR
    JR Member Posts: 139 Member
    Sorry to hear...
    Jennie,
    I'm so sorry to hear about your scan. My first scan was very similar. I am also stage 4 with my liver fully involved and several tumors in my lungs. However, it is not a death sentance. I was also told that I would be on some kind of treatment the rest of my life. That's ok, we will deal with it. There are many stories of stage 4's living a long life and I fully expect to do so myself. So can you. As soon as I started chemo my liver quit hurting and has shrunk quite a bit. I feel good most of the time. Try to keep your chin up and looking forward. You have many good years ahead of you. I think your feelings are shared by all who have had similar experiances. It's devistating at first, but you will deal with it and go forward. Good luck to you.

    John
  • maglets
    maglets Member Posts: 2,576 Member
    JR said:

    Sorry to hear...
    Jennie,
    I'm so sorry to hear about your scan. My first scan was very similar. I am also stage 4 with my liver fully involved and several tumors in my lungs. However, it is not a death sentance. I was also told that I would be on some kind of treatment the rest of my life. That's ok, we will deal with it. There are many stories of stage 4's living a long life and I fully expect to do so myself. So can you. As soon as I started chemo my liver quit hurting and has shrunk quite a bit. I feel good most of the time. Try to keep your chin up and looking forward. You have many good years ahead of you. I think your feelings are shared by all who have had similar experiances. It's devistating at first, but you will deal with it and go forward. Good luck to you.

    John

    breathe and breathe
    Jennie: so sorry to hear about this scan but it is NOT an instant death diagnosis. I had colon 5 years ago and the spread to liver with 7 mets. Jennie they just cut that old liver to pieces and then i did chemo. That gave me almost two years and then anothe tiny spot on the liver and they cut it out again and I am just finishing up chemo and looking forward.

    Kimby is right...I had to travel 6 hours to my liver surgeon but I do my chemo at the local hospital. Do you have a GP...maybe you should call and get a nice calmer downer like Ativan just to smooth out the next few days .....your path will appear Jennie and you will get on it.

    There are lots of us Stage 4's here still going with active wonderful grateful lives.

    these first days are hard when you just panic

    Stay in touch Jennie
    HUgs
    mags
  • nudgie
    nudgie Member Posts: 1,478 Member
    Stage 4 is NOT
    a death sentence anymore. There have been so much advancement in cancer drugs over the years and sooooo many Stage IV SURVIVORS on this board. In my opinion, Stage IV is term that is only given to let the medical community know that it has spread to other organs, NOT that it is consider a death sentence.

    I would talk to my team of doctors, get a second or even a third opinion, until you find a team of doctors YOU feel comfortable with along with their plan of attack.

    We are here for you ALWAYS :)
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    Still breathing deep I hope?
    Hi Jennie, well that news sucks. But do not despair, as others have said there are many stage IV survivors. I have been at stage IV since I was Dx over 5 years ago. Sure, I still have a few nuggets in me but I'm here, just finished cutting the lawn, shopping and a bunch of other things. Now I have to finish with the pool and do the garden tomorrow. Oh, and in a week or so I'll go for yet another chemo. I work full time and have been throughout this whole thing.

    They CAN cut it out of your liver, you can survive and live a good long life even if it takes a while to get to NED. I did chemo first to shrink it, then chemo. That was what was best with me. Try to get the best treatment you can, if you are not happy with your team then find people you do like/trust or trust/like. Trust is more important than like.

    Stay in touch, try to stay calm, it's not anywhere even close to the end.
    -phil
  • scouty
    scouty Member Posts: 1,965 Member
    Hi Jennie, take a deep breath honey
    5 years ago tomorrow I gave myself a b-b-q asking family and friends to come give me strength and inspiration as I fought stage IV rectal cancer with 3 mets to my liver and 1 to my left lung. Surgery was not an option, so I did chemo (folfox with avastin). At the time deep down inside I think the party was more of a way for me to say goodbye while I still looked and felt good. Like you, the news of stage IV hit me really hard and took days even weeks to really sink in. I was told chemo would extend my life 2-3 years and I heard that but I don't think I ever really believed it. My oncologist mentioned that he had had his fair share of miracle patients and I decided right then and there I was going to be one of those!

    So here I am 5 years later, NED for over 4 1/2 of those after never having surgery on my liver or lung!!! Non-surgical remission it is called.

    There is a really cool procedure the bigger cancer centers can do called RFA (Radio Frequency Ablation) that laser zaps single mets without the major surgery a liver resection involves.

    The liver is an amazing organ, if you do have to have a resection, it regrows!!!

    Get to a major cancer center for a second opinion to find out which of your 3 options is the smartest one for you: Chemo, RFA, or a liver resection.

    I will enjoy my memories tomorrow of having 160 wonderful people in my yard listening to a live band and eating good ole North Carolina b-b-q. And you imagine where you will be in 5 years!!!

    Lisa P.

    PS Like Kimby I got a second opinion 60 miles away at a comprehensive cancer center and KNOW I would be dead or dying today had I not.
  • Betsydoglover
    Betsydoglover Member Posts: 1,248 Member
    Like everyone says, Breathe
    And, Jennie, I know it is very hard.

    Nothing more shocking than a Stage IV diagnosis but it is absolutely NOT a death sentence. In your case only 1 "spot" showed on PET - that is really good news. Many treatments are available and you will doubtless hear from many others. I can only tell you my story........

    I was diagnosed in May 2005 with sigmoid tumor and liver met. Sigmoid colectomy 6/05 - 6 cycles of Xeloda/oxaliplatin/Avastin from 7/05 - 12/05. NED (no sign of disease on PET or CT) after 3 cycles. We took a "chemo break" in 12/05, but frequent negative CT and PET scans kept me on that "break". So I never even had a liver resection or radio frequency ablation, because my liver met disappeared so quickly with chemo.

    On my 11/09 scans a tiny lung nodule showed up - technically PET negative (SUV less than 1.0), but still vaguely brighter than surrounding lung tissue ( I sat with my radiologist and looked at it). We followed it with CT scans in Jan and Mar 2009 - no change in size, but since it hadn't shrunk we decided to remove it via VATS (scope surgery of the lung). We did that mid-April (easy surgery) and the nodule was a colorectal met - the only one as far as the surgeon could tell. So, now I am doing 6 cycles of Xeloda plus Avastin, the Avastin to continue alone for probably a year. My liver is still perfectly clear according to diagnostic CT and PET. I have lived and am still living a good and active life.

    Please take time to breathe and relax. It is important to take this one step at a time and to know that things can turn out well. I'll be thinking of you.

    Betsy
    diagnosed Stage IV 5/05
  • Hatshepsut
    Hatshepsut Member Posts: 336 Member
    scouty said:

    Hi Jennie, take a deep breath honey
    5 years ago tomorrow I gave myself a b-b-q asking family and friends to come give me strength and inspiration as I fought stage IV rectal cancer with 3 mets to my liver and 1 to my left lung. Surgery was not an option, so I did chemo (folfox with avastin). At the time deep down inside I think the party was more of a way for me to say goodbye while I still looked and felt good. Like you, the news of stage IV hit me really hard and took days even weeks to really sink in. I was told chemo would extend my life 2-3 years and I heard that but I don't think I ever really believed it. My oncologist mentioned that he had had his fair share of miracle patients and I decided right then and there I was going to be one of those!

    So here I am 5 years later, NED for over 4 1/2 of those after never having surgery on my liver or lung!!! Non-surgical remission it is called.

    There is a really cool procedure the bigger cancer centers can do called RFA (Radio Frequency Ablation) that laser zaps single mets without the major surgery a liver resection involves.

    The liver is an amazing organ, if you do have to have a resection, it regrows!!!

    Get to a major cancer center for a second opinion to find out which of your 3 options is the smartest one for you: Chemo, RFA, or a liver resection.

    I will enjoy my memories tomorrow of having 160 wonderful people in my yard listening to a live band and eating good ole North Carolina b-b-q. And you imagine where you will be in 5 years!!!

    Lisa P.

    PS Like Kimby I got a second opinion 60 miles away at a comprehensive cancer center and KNOW I would be dead or dying today had I not.

    Hope...
    Jennie:

    I am so sorry that you have cancer.

    Your post this morning was a very personal reminder to me of the total despair I felt three years ago when my husband was diagnosed with stage III (later stage IV) colon cancer.

    I remember sitting in the surgery waiting room at Hoag Hospital for what seemed like hours numb with the news of my husband's disease. Like your experience, I couldn't see through the torrents of tears that overtook me. I remember virtually collapsing into the arms of a duty nurse on my husband's surgery floor. Those were the worst moments of my life. Our situation seemed hopeless.

    My world view at that point was very much shaped by the unrelenting negativity of coverage of cancer treatment in this country and by the terrible experiences of my family twenty years before when my father died of multiple myeloma.

    What I have learned over the last three years, however, is that cancer treatment has made enormous strides, that negative assessments of the survivability of cancer are too often based upon outdated data, and that the human spirit can prevail even in the most frightening situations. I have also learned that it is critically important to assemble a team of positive, competent and informed doctors and nurses to guide you through your recovery.

    My counsel to you is to listen to the wise and kind people on this board who have sent you messages of hope today. They have been where you are and they have survived.

    In my husband's case, he has not only survived a stage IV diagnosis but he is thriving. His most recent CT scans showed no evidence of cancer.

    Sometimes now I still have trouble seeing through torrents of tears but they are the tears of relief and happiness.

    I send you my best wishes for your recovery. Stay close to this board and the positive support, wealth of information and real-life success stories that it conveys.

    I'm sure it is difficult to think of yourself as lucky today, but you are lucky indeed to have found the good people on this board to support and comfort you. I can't tell you how much I wish I had had this board on that awful night when my husband was diagnosed.

    Hatshepsut
  • idlehunters
    idlehunters Member Posts: 1,787 Member

    Like everyone says, Breathe
    And, Jennie, I know it is very hard.

    Nothing more shocking than a Stage IV diagnosis but it is absolutely NOT a death sentence. In your case only 1 "spot" showed on PET - that is really good news. Many treatments are available and you will doubtless hear from many others. I can only tell you my story........

    I was diagnosed in May 2005 with sigmoid tumor and liver met. Sigmoid colectomy 6/05 - 6 cycles of Xeloda/oxaliplatin/Avastin from 7/05 - 12/05. NED (no sign of disease on PET or CT) after 3 cycles. We took a "chemo break" in 12/05, but frequent negative CT and PET scans kept me on that "break". So I never even had a liver resection or radio frequency ablation, because my liver met disappeared so quickly with chemo.

    On my 11/09 scans a tiny lung nodule showed up - technically PET negative (SUV less than 1.0), but still vaguely brighter than surrounding lung tissue ( I sat with my radiologist and looked at it). We followed it with CT scans in Jan and Mar 2009 - no change in size, but since it hadn't shrunk we decided to remove it via VATS (scope surgery of the lung). We did that mid-April (easy surgery) and the nodule was a colorectal met - the only one as far as the surgeon could tell. So, now I am doing 6 cycles of Xeloda plus Avastin, the Avastin to continue alone for probably a year. My liver is still perfectly clear according to diagnostic CT and PET. I have lived and am still living a good and active life.

    Please take time to breathe and relax. It is important to take this one step at a time and to know that things can turn out well. I'll be thinking of you.

    Betsy
    diagnosed Stage IV 5/05

    Your words mean the world to me
    My husband and I have sat home and cried all day. We keep checking back and reading your posts. It is giving us so much hope. You are all "real" people with the same thing or close to the same thing that I have. How you deal with it, your outcomes and advice is priceless. My onc. is so booked up that he can't even see me for 2 weeks to discuss a treatment. That bothers me. The ray doc i had today i did not like. That bothers me. I am flying to chicago to the Cancer Center of America for a second opinion.... which i will actually end up getting before my first opinion because that doc is too busy. Please continue to post. If any more of you have had the cancer move to your liver as i did i would like to hear the course of treatment you chose. Something else I wondered..... are there people out there that have been NED for 10+ years or do people not post here anymore after so long? I have never heard anyone say that as of yet. Thank you all so much. I hope you know how much you are appreciated.

    Jennie
  • ron50
    ron50 Member Posts: 1,723 Member
    Hmmm I wish my old
    Hmmm I wish my old mate Foxy (Virginnia from new zealand)still visited the boards.
    She would have a few words of advice. She was dx with st4 colon ca with a large met to the liver. She had a wedge resection of the liver and twelve months of 5fu and levamisole. Last time i spoke to her(about two years ago) she was 13years clear of cancer. We had a bit of a celebration ,I was dx st3 with 6 nodes involved and had just reached my ten years ca free. To traditional views both of us were pretty much considered terminal.
    From here on Jennie you have to make a firm commitment to life and living. Make a descision to beat ca and get on with your life. There are plenty of long time survivors of st 3 and 4 here to show you the way. My best wishes for a speedy recovery,ron 11yrs/6mos.
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
    ron50 said:

    Hmmm I wish my old
    Hmmm I wish my old mate Foxy (Virginnia from new zealand)still visited the boards.
    She would have a few words of advice. She was dx with st4 colon ca with a large met to the liver. She had a wedge resection of the liver and twelve months of 5fu and levamisole. Last time i spoke to her(about two years ago) she was 13years clear of cancer. We had a bit of a celebration ,I was dx st3 with 6 nodes involved and had just reached my ten years ca free. To traditional views both of us were pretty much considered terminal.
    From here on Jennie you have to make a firm commitment to life and living. Make a descision to beat ca and get on with your life. There are plenty of long time survivors of st 3 and 4 here to show you the way. My best wishes for a speedy recovery,ron 11yrs/6mos.

    Jennie.....
    AMCP has a story for you ...Her hubby was told there was no hope for him and now he is doing very well just by getting second opinions. They found a place that would go the extra mile..Im sure she will see this and tell her story...Its a great story with a great end, if it doesn't appear soon PM her...she will share it with you.....Good Luck and Chin up...
  • kimby
    kimby Member Posts: 797

    Your words mean the world to me
    My husband and I have sat home and cried all day. We keep checking back and reading your posts. It is giving us so much hope. You are all "real" people with the same thing or close to the same thing that I have. How you deal with it, your outcomes and advice is priceless. My onc. is so booked up that he can't even see me for 2 weeks to discuss a treatment. That bothers me. The ray doc i had today i did not like. That bothers me. I am flying to chicago to the Cancer Center of America for a second opinion.... which i will actually end up getting before my first opinion because that doc is too busy. Please continue to post. If any more of you have had the cancer move to your liver as i did i would like to hear the course of treatment you chose. Something else I wondered..... are there people out there that have been NED for 10+ years or do people not post here anymore after so long? I have never heard anyone say that as of yet. Thank you all so much. I hope you know how much you are appreciated.

    Jennie

    Treatments
    Jennie,

    If you are a candidate for liver resection, that has the best statistical outcome for long term NED. Second choice for me was radiation (external beam or stereotactic) and it's worked well. But there are many choices including: Therasperes, Sir Spheres, HAI pump, HPH, RFA (and many other ablation therapies), and I'm sure I'm leaving out several others. Sorry, I just returned from Chicago this week and I attend The Liver Symposium. I'm quite full of liver treatment info. LOL Hope I didn't overwhelm you. Just know you have options. Which procedures are best for you will depend on your individual situation. Just know that most doctors will not know about some of the newer procedures, may not have read the success stats, and/or may not be willing to discuss a procedure not offered at their facility. That's why I went - I need to know so I can make choices for my own health and longevity.

    HTH,

    Kimby
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    Praying for you
    Jennie,

    I'm praying for you and your husband. I know this news has hit you hard (I'm sure I'd be a mess). Lucky for you that you have found this site and have the benefit of hearing from so many who are doing so well after hearing similar news. You've already received so many good responses, and I'm sure you will get more.

    I hope you are resting a little easier after reading some of the remarks.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
    tootsie1 said:

    Praying for you
    Jennie,

    I'm praying for you and your husband. I know this news has hit you hard (I'm sure I'd be a mess). Lucky for you that you have found this site and have the benefit of hearing from so many who are doing so well after hearing similar news. You've already received so many good responses, and I'm sure you will get more.

    I hope you are resting a little easier after reading some of the remarks.

    *hugs*
    Gail

    Jennie....
    ....You were just like me when I learned of my diagnosis, a few weeks before my 44th birtday, I have Stage 4 CC with a tumor in my liver, and I was horrified! I had no symptoms, no sickness, no bleeding in stools or anywhere, I have 4 children, and a wonderful husband, just started gaining alot of weight, but I knew it wasn't normal weight, it was fluid and swelling, and feeling a hardness on my left side.. lo and behold, it was the tumor growing!

    I cried and hugged my kids, thinking I was going to die in a couple of months, but my doctor and his team told me that Stage 4 that I had may not be curable, but it IS treatable, and won't even give me any kind of prognosis...because there are so many people who they thought wouldn't be here past a certain time, and had proved them wrong! they still have patients who have had stage 4 for like 9 years, 14 years, I mean, they just gave me so much hope. The stuff online I read about it will scare the hell out of you, so don't read the internet statistics and crap, it's wrong!

    I started on chemo, and am on my 4th treatment, out of 12, and just got my first CT scan results since dx, and my doctor told me that the chemo has killed most of my cancer, so I know it's working!

    Keep that positive attitude, and just go in fighting, don't let the beast get to you, and just keep moving forward with humor, and a great attitude, it will help in the healing and you will be just fine! Here I am almost 6 months later since dx, and I feel great, chemo really helped me feel better, I lost 30 lbs of fluid that was making me feel bloated and uncomfortable, but let me tell you, chemo isn't easy, but it does help, and it will knock the heck out of you, you will bounce back though! just get your boxing gloves on and come out swinging, there's alot of us Stage 4's fighting, and will do it for as long as we can!

    Hugsssss and good luck!
    ~Donna
  • idlehunters
    idlehunters Member Posts: 1,787 Member
    Shayenne said:

    Jennie....
    ....You were just like me when I learned of my diagnosis, a few weeks before my 44th birtday, I have Stage 4 CC with a tumor in my liver, and I was horrified! I had no symptoms, no sickness, no bleeding in stools or anywhere, I have 4 children, and a wonderful husband, just started gaining alot of weight, but I knew it wasn't normal weight, it was fluid and swelling, and feeling a hardness on my left side.. lo and behold, it was the tumor growing!

    I cried and hugged my kids, thinking I was going to die in a couple of months, but my doctor and his team told me that Stage 4 that I had may not be curable, but it IS treatable, and won't even give me any kind of prognosis...because there are so many people who they thought wouldn't be here past a certain time, and had proved them wrong! they still have patients who have had stage 4 for like 9 years, 14 years, I mean, they just gave me so much hope. The stuff online I read about it will scare the hell out of you, so don't read the internet statistics and crap, it's wrong!

    I started on chemo, and am on my 4th treatment, out of 12, and just got my first CT scan results since dx, and my doctor told me that the chemo has killed most of my cancer, so I know it's working!

    Keep that positive attitude, and just go in fighting, don't let the beast get to you, and just keep moving forward with humor, and a great attitude, it will help in the healing and you will be just fine! Here I am almost 6 months later since dx, and I feel great, chemo really helped me feel better, I lost 30 lbs of fluid that was making me feel bloated and uncomfortable, but let me tell you, chemo isn't easy, but it does help, and it will knock the heck out of you, you will bounce back though! just get your boxing gloves on and come out swinging, there's alot of us Stage 4's fighting, and will do it for as long as we can!

    Hugsssss and good luck!
    ~Donna

    We seem to have a lot in common
    Donna... thank you for your post.... we seem to have a lot in common from the cancer all the way down to wonderful husbands!

    Kimby.... you are a walking library.... I wrote down all your info to take to my onc. visit.

    Ron.... congrats on being C free all those years....thats amazing!!!

    Buzzard, Gail JR Mags, Nudgie, Phil, Lisa P., Betsy, and Hatshepsut...... thanks you for making such a depressing day for me and my husband turn out to be a hopeful one. I no longer feel this is the end and you all made me realize not to sit on my **** and sulk..... but FIGHT... and I will....
  • polarprincess
    polarprincess Member Posts: 202
    10 years
    you were asking if anyone was 10 years NED from stage 4. there is a guy over at the colonclub.com named todd colitti who is nearing 10 years (9.5) who had multiple liver tumors.. he is also on of the colondars so you can read his story in that section or just do a search of his name
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member

    10 years
    you were asking if anyone was 10 years NED from stage 4. there is a guy over at the colonclub.com named todd colitti who is nearing 10 years (9.5) who had multiple liver tumors.. he is also on of the colondars so you can read his story in that section or just do a search of his name

    Jennie...........
    Whenever you are down and feeling bad you can always come in here and find someone doing the Happy NED Nekkid dance....If your down thats always uplifting to hear that...Most of us do leave the windows down though....there are some that don't...and some that just dance that way because they can...so be careful in here, we could make you smile......we are diverse, that has been proven..but there is more information in this forum than Google has.....so kick a trashcan across the yard, then come in here to the best place on the planet...Most of the time you can get a show in here with your dinner..... :)
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625 Member

    We seem to have a lot in common
    Donna... thank you for your post.... we seem to have a lot in common from the cancer all the way down to wonderful husbands!

    Kimby.... you are a walking library.... I wrote down all your info to take to my onc. visit.

    Ron.... congrats on being C free all those years....thats amazing!!!

    Buzzard, Gail JR Mags, Nudgie, Phil, Lisa P., Betsy, and Hatshepsut...... thanks you for making such a depressing day for me and my husband turn out to be a hopeful one. I no longer feel this is the end and you all made me realize not to sit on my **** and sulk..... but FIGHT... and I will....

    That's the attitude!!
    Hi Jennie,

    I'm just reading your post (yes, it's after 2 a.m. in California as I type this- I'm just not tired- thank goodness tomorrow is Saturday!)
    Anyhow... been there, done that, as others have said. I have to say my situation was far more dire than yours and I'm here still here and doing well a year and nine months after my diagnosis. A week after my diagnosis where I thought I was a stage II, I got my "routine CT scan" results back, which instantly jumped me up to a stage IV. I had 12 tumors in my liver and many tumors throughout both lungs, all in addition to the large rectal tumor which had grown through my bowel wall. I was not a surgical candidate because of how widespread it was, so I immediately started on chemo- Folfox and Avastin. My oncologist amazingly told me "we're going for cure!" I don't know how realistic that actually was, but his attitude definitely helped me change into the fighting mode instead of the mode of thinking I was going to die. It's so important to have an oncologist who will support you and give you hope- some treat all stage IV patients as hopeless and "let's keep them comfortable until the end" instead of "let's do all we can to blast this out of you!"
    To give you hope of what is possible, listen to this... after just three rounds of chemo, I had a CT scan and a PET scan, which showed I went from 12 liver tumors down to just 3. If just three rounds of chemo could make 9 of my liver tumors disappear, I know it could do wonders on your one!

    Actually, with just one, a liver resection (surgery) is probably your best bet, with follow up chemo (I know a major bummer, but it really is important to follow up w/ chemo after surgery to "mop up" anything that might be floating around in you). As I said, surgery before chemo would probably be the best option, although you will need to be evaluated for surgery to check on the tumor's location, size, etc. They can sometimes do stereotactical radiation, RFA, or cyberknife to blast it without the major surgery. Also if you want to go the surgery route to "get it out of there as soon as possible", and if one surgeon by chance tells you you can't have surgery for some reason, definitely go to another major cancer center for a second opinion. What one doctor says can't be done, often another more specialized doctor/surgeon will be able to do it! When I was down to "just" three liver tumors, I consulted with a reknowned liver surgeon and also with a radiologist about cyberknife (which is similar to stereotactical radiation but probably more precise- google both of them). I went with the surgery after I was convinced by something the surgeon said. He said that when you have the surgery, they can get in there and physically examine the liver with a handheld ultrasound device. They can check carefully to see if there's anything else they missed, etc. Well, I'm glad I went with the surgery- he actually found three additional tumors that had never shown up on the CT or PET for whatever reason (so I guess that means I actually had 15 liver tumors to start with). I thought I was getting three tumors removed, but it ended up being six- most in my left lobe so the left lobe was entirely removed and then I had a wedge resection on my right lobe, where they took a "chunk" (wedge resection) out since that tumor was close to the liver surface. You might be able to have the laparoscopic liver surgery (depending upon the tumor's location, proxity to a major blood vessel, etc.) which is faster recovery time
    Prior to getting the surgery, I was at the point where none of those liver tumors were lighting up on the PET scan anymore, and so my oncologist told me I really didn't need to do anything at that time because he believed they were "dead tissue" since they didn't light up on the PET. Well, guess what? Even though they were PET negative, the post surgical biopsies on all six tumors tested positive for cancer. So they were not "dead", but just dormant at that time, I guess. The surgery got them out of there.

    The area where my oncologist then failed (in addition to telling me I didn't need to do anything to the "dead tissue" in my liver) was that he didn't give me post liver surgery chemo (called adjuvant chemo), so I suffered a recurrence four months later and then had to do 7 months more of chemo. Tomorrow (actually today since it's now after 2 a.m.) marks one year since my liver resection. I had mine done at Thornton Hospital at UCSD (San Diego) by Dr. Andy Lowy. He is awesome & I'd definitely recommend him to anyone. If there's a major cancer center nearer to you, though, I'd go there if I were you. My insurance, for some reason, allowed me to go to a major cancer center for my surgery, but not to the oncologist. So I did not get the "team" approach. That definitely frustrated my surgeon, as he complained to me a couple of times prior to my surgery that he'd call and leave msgs. for my onc, but he wouldn't return the calls. I felt like I had to be the liason for the two of them. My onc is much better about communication and knowledge lately, fortunately.

    Yes, having cancer (especially stage IV) really sucks, is awful, not fair, etc,. etc! But I guess we were never promised in life that all would be roses- but some rose buses have less thorns than others, don't they?! I've got three kids myself (ages 9, 13, 16), so I know what it's like to have that fear of what to say to them when you don't know the future. My husband and I have been fairly open with our kids about it all. We try to not give them too much detailed information, but they do overhear our conversations and so we try to be honest and real about it, while trying to remain as positive as possible, especially for their sake. They've seen both of us cry and react after getting bad news, but they've also seen us rejoice and praise God for some of the good news I've received. It may seem quite bleak to you right now, but I believe that can definitely turn around and get beyond the horrible shock and sick and perfectly normal sick and/or angry response.

    As someone also already said, don't believe what you read on the internet about survival statistics on stage IV colorectal cancer patients. They're depressing, and most importantly to know, they're definitely outdated. Statistics, by the very nature of being a statistic, are always going to be outdated because the people in the study had to have been diagnosed and treated at least five years ago. Five years ago we didn't have some of the better chemos and biological agents that we have to use today (like Avastin).

    At this point, I look at my cancer as a chronic illness that I need to keep getting treated for. I can deal with that, as I know a lot of people in life deal with a lot of lousy things- kidney dialysis, being physically handicapped, M.S, and on and on. When put in that perspective, it makes me realize that, yes, I can do this. And you can too!!!!
    **I know of many stage IV'ers on this board who are NOT currently undergoing any treatment- some even that thought they'd have to be in treatment at least on and off their whole lives, but their scans showed all was clear (NED- no evidence of disease), and so they're off living life!! There will always be the followup bloodwork and scans, but many people today with stage IV colorectal cancer are in a very good place! I've heard of people on this board who are 5, 9, and even 12 years out of treatment after being diagnosed and treated for stage IV cancer. I, myself, am currently in the nonactive cancerous state. We call it NEAD (no evidence of active disease). I still have numerous nodules in my lungs, but my PET scan at the beg. of April showed nothing "lighting up" with cancerous activity. Since I had the recurrence in my lungs in August, four months after liver surgery (and four months of not being on any kind of treatment) I'm now on a "maintenance dose" to hopefully keep it that way!! I'm still hoping and praying, though, to become NED with nothing left in me!

    You can get through this with the help of your husband and family and friends around you. Take on the attidue that you're going to put all your anger and frustration and fear from this into energy to fight it! Also, if you believe in and have faith in God, I'd like to let you know of the amazing things that have happened to me, which have strengthened my faith, instead of weakening it). If you care to discuss anything about that and faith, let me know and I'd be happy to chat with you more via the private message system. I'd like to be a support to you in that way, if you so choose. I won't be offended in any way if you don't respond (you're aware, I'm sure of all the controversy we've had with that recently & I don't want to offend anyone or start all that again), but just know that I am here for you and I care & I will gladly pray for you, if you would like me to. I know what a scary and uncertain time you're going through. Chin up- you can do this!! Kick the cancer's @ss!

    Take care and hugs to you, (sorry for making this such a long post, but I wanted to try to
    Lisa let you know as much as possible and to encourage you) :)
  • mom_2_3
    mom_2_3 Member Posts: 953 Member
    Hope
    Jennie,

    You can click on my username for my personal story dealing with a Stage IV diagnosis. Basically I was diagnosed on 10/10/08 (my birthday) and I became NED on 2/20/09 (my surgery date). Right now I am doing adjuvant chemo for the next 5 moonths. My next CT scan is mid-June and I pray to be NED again.

    The others that have posted have given you really great advice. Lisa's post is fantastic. I would add just a couple of things for you to think about...

    1. If you can get to a national cancer institute, do it. I go to Memorial Sloan Kettering in NYC and your team works together on your treatment plan. Communication between my surgeons, oncologists and nurses is seamless.


    2. Doing chemo prior to any liver surgery is recommended so that the doctor can assess whether the particular chemo regimen is effective with your liver tumor. If they remove it immediately and you then go on chemo there is no way to know if the chemo is working killing all the little microscopic cells. In my case I had 4 treatments of chemo resulting in 40% shrinkage and 5 treatments resulted in 80% shrinkage and 90% necrosis. But, even if the tumor disappears or shrinks with chemo push for surgery to remove what remains as studies have shown that there is an over 60% chance that there are still active cancer cells.

    3. Do not listen to any opinion about your liver tumor operability from anyone other than a liver surgeon. If your oncologist tells you that you are not operable, ignore him/her. Try and go to a hepatabiliary surgeon or one who does liver surgeries only. I would not let a general surgical oncologist operate on my liver. In my case I had 2 sets of surgeons, one for the colon and one for the liver. The first consultation I had with a general surgeon he was telling me he could "do it all." Knowing what I know now I breathe a sign of relief that I did not entrust my surgery to him. He was fine for implanting my power port (for chemo) but not for my major surgery.

    4. There are plenty of Stage IV long-term survivors. Some doctors will say that after 5 years of no recurrence a person is cured. My doctors feel that the timeframe is 10 years of no recurrence. My surgeon told me that at MSK they have a 60% DFS (disease-free survival) for Stage IV with operable liver mets. He also said that the cure rate for it is over 40%. These are still challenging odds, however, the statistics are getting better year after year with the introduction of new technologies, biologics and other treatments. If you search this board for "stories" you will see a recent post about some survivor stories. I personally keep a journal where I have written about 100 names down of individuals that are going strong after a Stage IV diagnosis. In fact, read the story at this link (http://www.mycrcconnections.com/profile/Heidi). Heidi has also posted here on CSN, however, I don't know how often she visits the site. As others have mentioned, many that are 10 years out of treatment aren't spending lots of time on cancer forums. I find myself even spending less and less time on the forums than I used to. There are weeds to pull, flowers to plant, t-ball games to attend, hot summer days to watch my kids in the sprinkler. I try not to lose sight of the fact that while support forums are great I can't stop living my life.


    5. Once a Stage IV, always a Stage IV unfortunately. I sometimes like to think of myself as a Stage III but it doesn't work that way... :)

    6. My doctor told me that the only things I could do to help avoid recurrence is exercise and watch my weight. I am normal weight so I do my best to exercise every day. I have a checklist of things to do each day and it is my responsibility to do them and I try not to get distracted by other activities until I complete them. I am currently on disability so I consider it my "job" to put my health first. My checklist includes the following: 1 hour cardio exercise, 15-30 minutes of sun exposure, 2x daily vegetable/fruit juicing, 10 minutes meditation/praying. Each day I review the list and ensure I am hitting my goals for these activities as I feel they have a positive impact on my cancer. Finally, google "sugar and cancer" and consider removing items from your diet that are high in sugar or high fructose corn syrup. I have found some research that links insulin levels to cancer so avoiding sugar and exercising every day can have positive impact on maintaining a healthly insulin level.

    7. Don't hesitate to come here for support, to ask questions, to vent. Your husband will not really understand your feelings (unless he is also a cancer survivor) like we will. Everyone here on the board will lend an ear or shoulder. Take advantage of that kinship. Studies have shown that breast cancer patients that participate in support groups do better than those that don't. We are here for you.

    All the best,
    Amy
  • Paula G.
    Paula G. Member Posts: 596
    I got my husband involved in this club (JR). He was DX last October. Very much the same feelings you have. It is so hard to wrap your head around finding out you have cancer. Are family was in shock. Take the advice from these people in the network. They are living and you will too.
    My heart goes out to all of you. I thank you all for being here for each other.Paula G.