Got some people that need to check in.....worries us when we don't hear from ya......

Buzzard
Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
.......OK, you know who you are...understandable that sometimes are just not good times but we wanted to let the ones that are missing know that we still hold you in our hearts and prayers and thoughts in hopes that all is well and that God has wrapped His comforting arms around you all.....check back in when you can ......God bless all of you.....
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  • VickiCO
    VickiCO Member Posts: 917
    Hey Buzzard
    I haven't posted for a few days...but not because things are bad. Actually, I have good news - surgeon released me, meds have made my depression go away, I have regained control of my bowels, I am working again, etc. I do start chemo again next week, but it's just mop-up and not so bad - only 4 times.

    Here's my reason...Guilt. Here I am only 5 months out from DX and already my docs are saying I have beat the beast. I know we can't be totally sure for years, but I currently have no known cancer left in my body. Then I read about others who are struggling so much, and I feel guilty. I know, I know, but it's how I am I guess. So I don't respond because I don't know what to say "Sorry you are hurting, BTW - I am fine" just doesn't seem right.

    Vicki
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
    VickiCO said:

    Hey Buzzard
    I haven't posted for a few days...but not because things are bad. Actually, I have good news - surgeon released me, meds have made my depression go away, I have regained control of my bowels, I am working again, etc. I do start chemo again next week, but it's just mop-up and not so bad - only 4 times.

    Here's my reason...Guilt. Here I am only 5 months out from DX and already my docs are saying I have beat the beast. I know we can't be totally sure for years, but I currently have no known cancer left in my body. Then I read about others who are struggling so much, and I feel guilty. I know, I know, but it's how I am I guess. So I don't respond because I don't know what to say "Sorry you are hurting, BTW - I am fine" just doesn't seem right.

    Vicki

    Understandable
    I understand completely but isn't that what we all strive for. To see you in here means that you have done the job that all of us go through and you have come out the other side unscathed so far, but you did your time in the field of battle. Albeit not as long as most but none the less the same battle. You should be proud to have beaten him down , that gives others hope in knowing that there are a lot of people in here showing that it is beatable. In here you give hope to the people that are still holding on and being pulled through. It shows them that the journey is not all for naught. You are a shining star for people, especially me. It shows me that I hopefully will do the same. By the way.....My needle comes out tomorrow and I am done.....hopefully forever. It may not seem right but thats what we fight for and everyone that beats it down deserves every minute of freedom. You have gone through more in the last 8 months than most of the population will go through in their lifetime. Don't feel guilty about that. You have earned the right to be in here. With the rest of us Semi-colons....remember you still are and always will be a "Semi-Colon".....Congratulations sweetie....you've earned it...and I couldn't be happier ....God Bless ya...
  • VickiCO
    VickiCO Member Posts: 917
    Buzzard said:

    Understandable
    I understand completely but isn't that what we all strive for. To see you in here means that you have done the job that all of us go through and you have come out the other side unscathed so far, but you did your time in the field of battle. Albeit not as long as most but none the less the same battle. You should be proud to have beaten him down , that gives others hope in knowing that there are a lot of people in here showing that it is beatable. In here you give hope to the people that are still holding on and being pulled through. It shows them that the journey is not all for naught. You are a shining star for people, especially me. It shows me that I hopefully will do the same. By the way.....My needle comes out tomorrow and I am done.....hopefully forever. It may not seem right but thats what we fight for and everyone that beats it down deserves every minute of freedom. You have gone through more in the last 8 months than most of the population will go through in their lifetime. Don't feel guilty about that. You have earned the right to be in here. With the rest of us Semi-colons....remember you still are and always will be a "Semi-Colon".....Congratulations sweetie....you've earned it...and I couldn't be happier ....God Bless ya...

    Buzzard
    I just told hubby I love you, and he agreed! LOL! Thank you. I needed that talking to.

    Vicki
  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342 Member
    VickiCO said:

    Buzzard
    I just told hubby I love you, and he agreed! LOL! Thank you. I needed that talking to.

    Vicki

    great news Vicki
    Hi Vicki,
    You have been through so much and fought so hard. That is wonderful news that your docs have shared with you! Celebrate!
    Aloha,
    Kathleen
  • CherylHutch
    CherylHutch Member Posts: 1,375
    VickiCO said:

    Buzzard
    I just told hubby I love you, and he agreed! LOL! Thank you. I needed that talking to.

    Vicki

    Survivor Guilt
    I'm chiming in here with Buzzard, Vicki! Don't you dare desert us now that you may have beaten the beast :)

    I'm hoping that there are tons and tons of people who fought the battle, won and have moved on with their lives and haven't come back to post because their offline lives are just so full and busy. That is my sincere wish for everyone who takes on the battle... but for those of us who are still fighting it and haven't been given a clean bill of "NED", then it would be fabulous if all you "NEDDERS", no matter what stage you were DX'd with.. could come back and remind the rest of us that there are more NEDDERS than we will ever realize. That gives all of us hope that we, too, can beat the monster... be it a couple of months, or a couple of years... or even if it means being in treatment for 10 years before we get our "Certificate Of NED" :)

    So... this is to everyone who is fighting the monster... when you get your Certificate, go out, rejoice, reclaim your monster-free lives... but do come back and keep waving those certificates at the rest of us so we know they are attainable :)

    Hugggggs,

    CHeryl
  • johnnybegood
    johnnybegood Member Posts: 1,117 Member

    Survivor Guilt
    I'm chiming in here with Buzzard, Vicki! Don't you dare desert us now that you may have beaten the beast :)

    I'm hoping that there are tons and tons of people who fought the battle, won and have moved on with their lives and haven't come back to post because their offline lives are just so full and busy. That is my sincere wish for everyone who takes on the battle... but for those of us who are still fighting it and haven't been given a clean bill of "NED", then it would be fabulous if all you "NEDDERS", no matter what stage you were DX'd with.. could come back and remind the rest of us that there are more NEDDERS than we will ever realize. That gives all of us hope that we, too, can beat the monster... be it a couple of months, or a couple of years... or even if it means being in treatment for 10 years before we get our "Certificate Of NED" :)

    So... this is to everyone who is fighting the monster... when you get your Certificate, go out, rejoice, reclaim your monster-free lives... but do come back and keep waving those certificates at the rest of us so we know they are attainable :)

    Hugggggs,

    CHeryl

    please come back
    im sorry you feel guilty but please dont.its people like you who are NED and on the other side that keeps us going.if it werent for all these people i would be going nuts.i have only got 1 down so please come back it helps so much and congrats.Godbless.....johnnybegood
  • msccolon
    msccolon Member Posts: 1,917 Member
    VickiCO said:

    Hey Buzzard
    I haven't posted for a few days...but not because things are bad. Actually, I have good news - surgeon released me, meds have made my depression go away, I have regained control of my bowels, I am working again, etc. I do start chemo again next week, but it's just mop-up and not so bad - only 4 times.

    Here's my reason...Guilt. Here I am only 5 months out from DX and already my docs are saying I have beat the beast. I know we can't be totally sure for years, but I currently have no known cancer left in my body. Then I read about others who are struggling so much, and I feel guilty. I know, I know, but it's how I am I guess. So I don't respond because I don't know what to say "Sorry you are hurting, BTW - I am fine" just doesn't seem right.

    Vicki

    What Buzzard and others have said
    You owe it to the newbies to come back and offer the hope that you have! You remember how scared you were when you were first diagnosed. You remember the belief that you were going to die and soonest, and if you survived you were going to have an ostomy, etc.... You persevered through the radiation and chemo, you had the surgery and you got GREAT news! You have worked hard to be the veteran that you are and should be very proud! Use your experience as a lesson for all! Pass it forward, girl! You are a champion and should be proud!
    mary
  • VickiCO
    VickiCO Member Posts: 917
    msccolon said:

    What Buzzard and others have said
    You owe it to the newbies to come back and offer the hope that you have! You remember how scared you were when you were first diagnosed. You remember the belief that you were going to die and soonest, and if you survived you were going to have an ostomy, etc.... You persevered through the radiation and chemo, you had the surgery and you got GREAT news! You have worked hard to be the veteran that you are and should be very proud! Use your experience as a lesson for all! Pass it forward, girl! You are a champion and should be proud!
    mary

    Thanks...
    I know...I had a momentary brain fart. I will continue as long as there are friends here who need me. Count my blessings and share my story. It IS possible to beat the beast!

    Vicki
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
    VickiCO said:

    Thanks...
    I know...I had a momentary brain fart. I will continue as long as there are friends here who need me. Count my blessings and share my story. It IS possible to beat the beast!

    Vicki

    Atta Girl...........
    It happens to me at 2:45 today..CST........I will be back on then to give the update.....God Bless all of you.......
  • angelsbaby
    angelsbaby Member Posts: 1,165 Member
    VickiCO said:

    Thanks...
    I know...I had a momentary brain fart. I will continue as long as there are friends here who need me. Count my blessings and share my story. It IS possible to beat the beast!

    Vicki

    vicki
    I think that is awsome, NED is what everyone hopes for
  • changing2
    changing2 Member Posts: 118
    HI!
    Yes, I'm still here in the background most days just to keep up with everyone and to know how to pray!My prayers continues for Angelbaby and others. As for me well, I stopped all treatments in Jan. as the Vectibix failed. Over the course of 2 years I've done everything offered. I've done every treatment plus repeated some in different combinations.
    Good news is...that although my CEA is steadily rising etc I feel good!I get tired more easily but yesterday I tilted the garden for a few hours and that's a huge area!
    Next week I plan on leaving for the Carribean and who knows what from there:) I have a great faith in my Redeemer who paid my ticket into heaven and someday I'll be there to cash in on His gift but for now I'm living life to the fullest. Who knows, maybe I'll go into remission....all I know is I'm not going "home" one day sooner than my Creator has planned!
    Take care and I'll continue to pray for us all. I thank you all for your thoughts and prayers as well!
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625 Member
    great attitude
    What a great attitude! I know it will not be one day sooner than God intends for it to be. I hope and pray you'll get to go into remission, but you definitely have the right Godly- attitude about it all. Enjoy your trip to the Carribean!

    Lisa
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
    changing2 said:

    HI!
    Yes, I'm still here in the background most days just to keep up with everyone and to know how to pray!My prayers continues for Angelbaby and others. As for me well, I stopped all treatments in Jan. as the Vectibix failed. Over the course of 2 years I've done everything offered. I've done every treatment plus repeated some in different combinations.
    Good news is...that although my CEA is steadily rising etc I feel good!I get tired more easily but yesterday I tilted the garden for a few hours and that's a huge area!
    Next week I plan on leaving for the Carribean and who knows what from there:) I have a great faith in my Redeemer who paid my ticket into heaven and someday I'll be there to cash in on His gift but for now I'm living life to the fullest. Who knows, maybe I'll go into remission....all I know is I'm not going "home" one day sooner than my Creator has planned!
    Take care and I'll continue to pray for us all. I thank you all for your thoughts and prayers as well!

    changing2
    God knows whats in store for you and you do as well to be in the mindset that you are in...Remission would be great but eternal life is the ultimate. Yes, He did pay all of us that believe in Him a free pass to Eternity and I am sure that one day I will see you there. Live your life here on earth to the utmost then spend eternity with everyone that has passed away before you. We will all meet there someday where there will be no sickness or health problems...just peace and tranquility....God Bless you.......
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
    lisa42 said:

    great attitude
    What a great attitude! I know it will not be one day sooner than God intends for it to be. I hope and pray you'll get to go into remission, but you definitely have the right Godly- attitude about it all. Enjoy your trip to the Carribean!

    Lisa

    Vicki!!
    Don't you dare feel guilty! You are one to be looked up too, and are so inspiring to me, a horribly frightened newbie, who had hopelessness and fear when first dx'd, and then I came to this board too see if there was hope for it, and since finding this board and all you special NED'ers and special Non-NED'ers, no matter what you are, and how hard you/we/all are fighting to get there to NED, gives me a reason to fight the beasts a$$!!!!

    Please note you are a reason that people have a hope of living with this :)

    Hugggsss to you and congrats are getting rid of this stupid disease, it's what we want for all of us, keep inspiring!!

    ~Donna
  • VickiCO
    VickiCO Member Posts: 917
    Shayenne said:

    Vicki!!
    Don't you dare feel guilty! You are one to be looked up too, and are so inspiring to me, a horribly frightened newbie, who had hopelessness and fear when first dx'd, and then I came to this board too see if there was hope for it, and since finding this board and all you special NED'ers and special Non-NED'ers, no matter what you are, and how hard you/we/all are fighting to get there to NED, gives me a reason to fight the beasts a$$!!!!

    Please note you are a reason that people have a hope of living with this :)

    Hugggsss to you and congrats are getting rid of this stupid disease, it's what we want for all of us, keep inspiring!!

    ~Donna

    Thanks Donna
    I am over it...sort of! I will definitely remain here. I have a story to tell, especially to newbies. I was so scared when I was DX'd, and I did have an awfully hard time with radiation/chemo. I have to hold out hope that sometimes, you win!

    Thanks for the kind words. Hang in there.

    Vicki
  • dianetavegia
    dianetavegia Member Posts: 1,942 Member
    changing2 said:

    HI!
    Yes, I'm still here in the background most days just to keep up with everyone and to know how to pray!My prayers continues for Angelbaby and others. As for me well, I stopped all treatments in Jan. as the Vectibix failed. Over the course of 2 years I've done everything offered. I've done every treatment plus repeated some in different combinations.
    Good news is...that although my CEA is steadily rising etc I feel good!I get tired more easily but yesterday I tilted the garden for a few hours and that's a huge area!
    Next week I plan on leaving for the Carribean and who knows what from there:) I have a great faith in my Redeemer who paid my ticket into heaven and someday I'll be there to cash in on His gift but for now I'm living life to the fullest. Who knows, maybe I'll go into remission....all I know is I'm not going "home" one day sooner than my Creator has planned!
    Take care and I'll continue to pray for us all. I thank you all for your thoughts and prayers as well!

    Wonderful post!!!
    [Quote]I have a great faith in my Redeemer who paid my ticket into heaven and someday I'll be there to cash in on His gift but for now I'm living life to the fullest. Who knows, maybe I'll go into remission....all I know is I'm not going "home" one day sooner than my Creator has planned![End Quote]

    Amazing testimony of FAITH! God is good and I couldn't agree with you more! Praise Jesus!

    Diane
  • Sandi1
    Sandi1 Member Posts: 277
    Last One
    Hi Everyone,
    Just wanted to update everyone - my husband in currently as I write this on his last chemo. He will get a month off and then do his scans and then will do maintenance chemo for the rest of his life. He has decided to go with the IV drip and his pump instead of the pill. The oncologist told him that the pill makes side effects worse and he just can't handle that right now. The IV and pump seem to work good for him and it does not bother him to have it. Anyway, his CEA is down to 1 from 17 and he gained a few pounds and is hold steady at that weight. Slowly, we are starting to do more things and he is regaining his strength. On his month off we will be building him back up (he does have anemia - which started with the last chemo) so we will be eating lots of dark green leafy veggies to build him up whether he likes it or not. We have travelled alot this year - we went to New Hampshire skiing, we went to Canada to visit my family (we always drive there) and we will be going back to Canada for Easter. I also told my husband, that I don't care if my work fires me I will take time off to be with him so we can travel, I always held back so I could have time off at Christmas - but it's not worth it - I want to be with him.
    So, just wanted to update everyone on Mike's progress and I'm sure that things are going to work out well for us. God bless everyone of you that prayed for us during this horrible ordeal, and I keep everyone of you in my thoughts and prayers.
    Sandi
  • angelsbaby
    angelsbaby Member Posts: 1,165 Member
    changing2 said:

    HI!
    Yes, I'm still here in the background most days just to keep up with everyone and to know how to pray!My prayers continues for Angelbaby and others. As for me well, I stopped all treatments in Jan. as the Vectibix failed. Over the course of 2 years I've done everything offered. I've done every treatment plus repeated some in different combinations.
    Good news is...that although my CEA is steadily rising etc I feel good!I get tired more easily but yesterday I tilted the garden for a few hours and that's a huge area!
    Next week I plan on leaving for the Carribean and who knows what from there:) I have a great faith in my Redeemer who paid my ticket into heaven and someday I'll be there to cash in on His gift but for now I'm living life to the fullest. Who knows, maybe I'll go into remission....all I know is I'm not going "home" one day sooner than my Creator has planned!
    Take care and I'll continue to pray for us all. I thank you all for your thoughts and prayers as well!

    thanks for the prayers
    have a good time on your vacation you deserve it.

    michelle
  • msccolon
    msccolon Member Posts: 1,917 Member
    Sandi1 said:

    Last One
    Hi Everyone,
    Just wanted to update everyone - my husband in currently as I write this on his last chemo. He will get a month off and then do his scans and then will do maintenance chemo for the rest of his life. He has decided to go with the IV drip and his pump instead of the pill. The oncologist told him that the pill makes side effects worse and he just can't handle that right now. The IV and pump seem to work good for him and it does not bother him to have it. Anyway, his CEA is down to 1 from 17 and he gained a few pounds and is hold steady at that weight. Slowly, we are starting to do more things and he is regaining his strength. On his month off we will be building him back up (he does have anemia - which started with the last chemo) so we will be eating lots of dark green leafy veggies to build him up whether he likes it or not. We have travelled alot this year - we went to New Hampshire skiing, we went to Canada to visit my family (we always drive there) and we will be going back to Canada for Easter. I also told my husband, that I don't care if my work fires me I will take time off to be with him so we can travel, I always held back so I could have time off at Christmas - but it's not worth it - I want to be with him.
    So, just wanted to update everyone on Mike's progress and I'm sure that things are going to work out well for us. God bless everyone of you that prayed for us during this horrible ordeal, and I keep everyone of you in my thoughts and prayers.
    Sandi

    sounds like good news!
    Sandi, sounds like you and Mike are making the best of your situation! You are so right about using the time to travel and enjoy your lives now, rather than waiting for Christmas or whatever! Live in today, you won't regret it tomorrow!
    mary