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I lost my dog 2 days ago

butterfly23's picture
butterfly23
Posts: 257
Joined: Mar 2008

Hi everyone, I am stage 4 colon cancer, I did 6 months chemo 5fu, surgery, and now heading for more chemo. During this whole process, I have had my 13 yr old beagle, Maxine by my side. Maxine was diagnosed with lymphatic cancer, she had 2 huge lymph nodes in her neck, ironically this is how I discovered my cancer too. At her age I chose not to do treatments on her and let her go in peace free of pain. I know I made the right decision by putting her to sleep, but I miss her soooo much. She was by my side through all of my illness and she was truly my angel... She would lay with me for 3 days while I had my chemo, it was so comforting. I go for my chemo this wed., the 1st one without her. I really feel I am more upset over this than when I found out I had cancer! I know I will fight this disease, I just wish she could be here with me. Believe me I have a WONDERFUL husband and family, but there is nothing like the unconditional love my Angel Maxine gave me...
Bless you all, you are ALWAYS in my prayers!
Karyn

kimby's picture
kimby
Posts: 804
Joined: Oct 2007

I'm so sorry you are now facing chemo without Maxine. During my folfox treatments last year, my shih tzu, Gus Gus, never left my side. Now he fights to be with me on my bad days with my english mastiff pup, Sis. I can't imagine going through this without them. My heart goes out to you.

Kimby

SandyL
Posts: 220
Joined: Feb 2009

to hear about Maxine. Our pets are surely blessings as they love us unconditionally, whether we are sick or well, happy or sad, rich or poor. So very, very sorry.

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

Its hard to let a pet go, but soon there will be a want for another and you'll love it just as much ....God Bless you and Maxine....

PamPam2's picture
PamPam2
Posts: 376
Joined: Jan 2009

Yes, our pets are a great comfort to us, especially when we don't feel good. I lost my cat and her kittens when I was on Chemo last time, so sad. Then had to put my other cat to sleep 3 weeks ago. They are a great comfort. There were some days, I felt like that was the only reason I got off the couch, to give them some food and water or a treat. As soon as I could stand it, I did get another pet, always had one and hope to always have one. It has been proven they are a benefit physically and mentally, even though it breaks your heart when something happens to them. Greiving with you. Pam

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Karyn,

I'm so sorry. I've been very sad over the loss of pets in my lifetime, but I've never had it happen at a time like this. I know it will be hard to go through that first chemo treatment without your precious Maxine. I'll be praying that you will find peace.

*hugs*
Gail

jsabol's picture
jsabol
Posts: 1156
Joined: Dec 2003

Oh, Karyn,
I am so sorry to hear about your Maxine. Mittens was my dad's mutt, she was part of my "inheritance" when he died from metastatic colon cancer. She was a great companion to him during his treatments. I was diagnosed 4 years after he passed away, and Mittens was a great comfort to me during my 6 months of chemo. She would follow me from room to room, or sit out in the yard, just to keep an eye on me and keep my spirits up.
I'm still in tears thinking about putting her to sleep when she got sick, and that was a few years ago. You did what Maxine needed from you, but it still leaves a hole.
Judy

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Karyn,
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Maxine. Pets are so beautiful and as someone else noted they show us what unconditional love is. I know when Dick was in the hospital in CA for his surgery he kept talking about getting back home to our dogs.
I know how much the loss of a pet hurts.
Aloha,
Kathleen

pamness
Posts: 514
Joined: Nov 2007

I had a cocker spaniel, his name was ASCII - IBM-s computer language (my husband named him - I wouldn't have known what it stood for). Anyway - he was a great dog and kept me company during all of my treatment. He was 14 years old - we had him "put to sleep" two months after I finished treatment, he had been sick for while and the time was right. He had a great life - but............ I really miss him. It has been well over a year.

You are right - I have a great family and network but I don't think I will ever forget him. I have not been able to think about getting another pet.

Pam

CherylHutch's picture
CherylHutch
Posts: 1399
Joined: Apr 2007

Karyn... I am so very sorry to hear that you have to go through this extremely painful loss. Like you say, she was with you through the good times and the bad times and there is no way you can really replace that since she was your unique angel. But, even when you are feeling your worst and missing her the most, remind yourself that you gave her the best gift a pet owner can give their pet. To let them die with dignity and no pain. Making the decision to put a pet down has got to be THE hardest decision a pet owner ever has to go through... and so many people will not bring themselves to do this. Hence the pet suffers at the end because their owners just can't do it. It IS hard, but by making that decision you are truly giving them the best gift.

With time, you will remember just the good memories and not the pain and feeling of loss when she is not around. Until then, you must grieve because grieving is all part of the process we have to go through when we lose someone/something that we truly love unconditionally.

Huggggggs!

Cheryl

butterfly23's picture
butterfly23
Posts: 257
Joined: Mar 2008

Thanks everyone for your support. Isn't that why we all come here?!?!?! Everyone is so wonderful here, thank-you again...
Bless you all!
Karyn

drmrgirl47's picture
drmrgirl47
Posts: 129
Joined: Mar 2004

Hi Karyn,
I am so very sorry about Maxine. I lost my French Bulldog this past summer and was so very devastated. So distraught that 2 days later my family bought me a new puppy! I thought I would die, training a puppy is so very exhausting. But I did it and Riley is now 8 months old and a love. It was the best gift, especially at that time. It really does help with the loss. People used to tell me that when you lose a dog, get another and I didn't believe them. I can't tell you how much it helped me. Anyway, my suggestions is that maybe you could consider getting another dog. It will help you get over your beloved Maxine and also bring you some comfort now. If that can't happen just yet, know that Maxine is in a good place and if you believe, someday you will see her again. Take care and try to be strong. Annette

butterfly23's picture
butterfly23
Posts: 257
Joined: Mar 2008

Hi Annette
thanks for the advice, I started looking online at the shelters. We have always had a dog, and when the pass away, we always say THAT'S IT NO MORE" because it is sooo hard to let go.. But usually within 2 weeks of so we have a new member to our family! I am just starting chemo again I just don't know if it is the right time yet.
thanks again for the advice!
Karyn

drmrgirl47's picture
drmrgirl47
Posts: 129
Joined: Mar 2004

Hi Karyn, shelter dogs are great. As you can see from my pic, the white dog on the left is from a shelter. She is a pit bull mix and she is wonderful. My French Bulldog is in the middle (he's the one that passed)I adopted him. My Boston Terrier is on the right. We now have another Boston. He's the puppy my family bought me. I will have to update my pic. Anyway, when the time is right, you will know. Good luck with your chemo. Take care, Annette

maglets's picture
maglets
Posts: 2596
Joined: Jun 2006

Hi Karyn: just another pet lover to send sympathy to you for your loss. My little Portia...a British Blue cat had cancer and I put her down 4 years ago. I still have not had the heart to get another kitten. There is not one day now as I lie on my bed with chemo....i wish she were right there under my left arm, curled up, purring away. It is amazing how we can love them and miss them.

Good luck and all the best to you
You have my deepest wishes
Mags

Mike49's picture
Mike49
Posts: 269
Joined: Nov 2008

I know the comfort I get from my two little dogs and my heart goes out to you. I remember one of my worst days, my little dog Bo Jangles brought every toy he had and piled in on me while I napped. I thought I woke up in the dog bed. I know you have many memories too. I am very sorry for your loss.

MIke 49

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