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Question on helping without smothering

Posts: 3
Joined: Aug 2008

My boyfriend S was diagnosed last week with hairy cell leukemia and just finished his last day of chemotherapy Friday (8/15/08). He is 38 years young. Wondering if you can give any insight on what he might expect? He's having the bouts of feeling ick and he's got the occasional fever...anything you can offer me by way of how I should help him without smothering him would be greatly appreciated. I am a three year cancer survivor myself but realize that everyone deals with their cancer differently and that every cancer is different.

Thanks in advance for any assistance or light you can shed on this.

Anonymous user (not verified)

You are so right when you say that everyone handles a cancer diagnosis differently. I think you should pretty much follow S's lead and let him remain in control of things. Hard to do sometimes when we see our guys not taking as good care of themselves as we might wish, but they are not children after all.
I'd would say keep things as normal as possible as much of the time as possible, throwing in some fun things (keeping schedules flexible to allow for the ick days) to break the monotony.
Maybe taking up a new hobby the two of you have not shared before and that does not demand too much physically would be a good distraction right now.
Anything that can insert a positive note into your lives should be a plus.

Posts: 3
Joined: Aug 2008

thank you for the response and great suggestions...I have been trying to let him lead..and yes that can be hard even though you realize they are not children...as with me when I was sick I called the shots and I try to let him do the same...today we walked around a boat shop even though I knew we shouldn't be out in public so soon after chemo but hey, he's relatively healthy other than the cancer so we just made sure to wash our hands really well when we got back to the truck...figure if he feels up to it why not....and yes anything positive in our lives should be a plus.

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