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How does one cope?

marym29
Posts: 71
Joined: Mar 2006

Hi All,
My name is, Mary from WI, and although I haven't written to you (my online family) in awhile; I am on here almost everyday reading about how everybody is doing! And I truly hope each and everyone of you is doing well; as well as has a wonderful upcoming weekend, too! ; )

And I guess I've been feeling down lately. I just went with my mom (on her 60th B-Day no less) to her 10th treatment on her 2nd go-round of this chemo regimen this past Monday.

Both her and her husband are just SO tired of all of this. For the last year and 4 months now they have been going for my mom's treatment every Monday (1 Monday is her "long treatment" and 1 Monday is her "short" treatment).

Although we all know that these treatments are what is helping to keep her alive; and with that her last CT scan came back with amazing results from this 2nd round of treatment. I guess it's just hard to deal with all of this sometimes; and I wish I knew how to uplift my mom and her husbands spirits...that's all! ; )

Has anyone out there had to go through more than 1 round of treatment?

How do you keep yourself uplifted?

Anything else you can offer would be very much appreciated! ; ) I mean, I know in my heart and soul that my mom will be OK; simply because she is SO spiritually and mentally strong & has the will to live.

Gosh, she's got that much going for her how can all of this "not" work, right?

Anyway, thanks for listening everyone. I'm sorry if I haven't made a lot of sense here today. Maybe I'm just in need of venting if nothing else.

Love & Bless You All!
Mary from WI

Limey's picture
Limey
Posts: 447
Joined: Mar 2004

Hi Mary from WI, this is Limey from MN I feel like were neighbors already. I am on my third round of chemo and keeping pretty strong in spirit. I have to admit I just read the post before yours and I do fall to pieces for a few minutes whenever we lose someone to this disease. Sometimes this fight is so hard and it feels like your treading water and not getting anywhere, it hardly seems worth the effort. But then I focus on my three wonderful kids, my great partner and all of the friends I have made along my journey and I realize there are a whole bunch O blessings in all of this.

NO ONE should EVER have to go through this journey, but we do. A few months ago I was in a restaurant with my family and a young blind person walked in with her mother and I just lost it. All I could think of was, ever day of this persons life she had needed someone to expand her world. Every new experience was an effort. And I, well I have run free for 43 years virtually in any direction I chose. It sure put into perspective my battle for that day anyway.

One way to look at this it is every Monday your Mom and Dad walk their journey together, not alone. That is pretty powerful, loving and inspirational. Sounds like Mom needs a happy naked dance for all her hard efforts and positive results. Keep on being a caring support system; I am sure they really appreciate it.
Limey

jsabol's picture
jsabol
Posts: 1156
Joined: Dec 2003

(((((Mary)))))
My heart goes out to you and your mom and dad. My dad lost his battle with metastatic colon cancer a number of years ago, and I am a stage III survivor, nearly 3 years out of treatment. I think the short answer to your question is:One day at a time, with lots of help. My dad did extrememy well after his initial year of chemo, and his attitude was awesome and still gives me strength. As a nurse in long term care, I am often impressed by the inner strength people show; makes me try to appreciate the blessings I have.
This site is perfect for venting, tears, support....prayers to you and your family. Judy

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

Hey, Mary!

First of all, shame on you for not keeping in touch!!!! I was sooooo worried!!!!

Have mom plan something special to do after the end of treatment. With you, and hubby too???? I went to a spa in Palm Springs for 2 days. Have her start planning NOW....it will keep her involved, and reminding her that this is temporary.....

So, this second round is working, based on the CT scan???? Is it time for a naked happy dance?????

BTW, Happy birthday to mom!!!!!

Hugs, Kathi

taraHK
Posts: 1961
Joined: Aug 2003

We all have our low patches -- it is good you felt comfortable sharing yours with us. I'm on my third round of chemo in 4.5 yrs. Just last night I said to my husband You know, I'm getting a little sick of this. I agree with JudithS -- we just have to cope one day at a time. I have a hard time when people say to me Hey you're 2/3 through your chemo -- I just do 'em one at a time. For me, it is important to remember that I CHOSE to do chemo - and I can chose not to if I wish. Meanwhile, I will keep plugging away. I have two teenage boys and they are a huge inspiration for me -- as I am sure you and the rest of the family is for your Mom.

dash4
Posts: 304
Joined: Dec 2005

Hi Mary,
I wanted to tell you that my husband has been undergoing treatment almost constantly since his diagnosis in 10/04. His first round was the 5FU for 1 month and colon resection and liver resection and ablation and then 6 more months of 5 FU. His cancer returned and he started erbitux (weekly) and irinotecan (bi-weekly) in 11/05. There has never been any set amount of treatments - they are just ongoing as long as they keep working. So, our weekly schedule has been the same until he had a small bowel blockage in 2/07...so he had 2 months off chemo and we started back 2 weeks ago. The cancer is slowly progressing, but while on chemo his pain is better controlled and the cancer remains stabile. Our life is different now, but it is still good. I do have my days when I wonder about it all though...Our son will be married in June - so that is our focus at the moment. None of us know what tomorrow will bring and so we are enjoying today.At first we were dissapointed that the cancer was not "gone", but now I am grateful the chemo is there to control this horrible disease. Good luck to your mom - You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Dash

hopefulone
Posts: 1048
Joined: Jan 2007

Glad to hear that the ct showed good changes!Cope ... one day at a time , one treatment at a time, one milestone at a time and never give up hope. Count the blessings they have now, look at each day as a gift and enjoy it to it's fullest .I have to personally remind myself when I start feeling low that there are sadly millions of people in this world in far worse situations that have no access to the medical care we do and no hope whatsoever and that God has blessed us so that my husband and I can at least sit at a clean medical facility, joke with nurses , have someone understand what we are going through , have this support site, etc, which many others do not have these or any options. It's not fun, we are well aware of the reason we are there and think of the gravity of it,(we dread treatment week( but it's better than what some people on this earth endure. We all get low sometimes, but I have to kick myself in the butt and remember there are and will be many good days ahead. God Bless and keep the faith always. Diane

StacyGleaso's picture
StacyGleaso
Posts: 1250
Joined: Mar 2003

Hi Mary,

What got me through was my kids. When I was diagnosed, they were 2, 4, & 7 yrs old. I wasn't ready to stop parenting. I also figured that each day further from diagnosis was another day of treatment completed and another day closer to cured. I was diagnosed with stage 4 in Oct 2001, and have been clear ever since. As long as treatments seem to be working for her, it's a good sign that this will all be behind her and THAT is truly inspirational.

Cancer caused me to slow down, look around, and appreciate life for what it is. As I've posted before, some days will be "conquer the world" days, and some days will be "wear pajamas" days. Perfectly acceptable!

My best wishes for smooth sailing for your mom...she can do it, her support team is amazing!

Hugs,

Stacy

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