"male" questions

pepperdog
pepperdog Member Posts: 96
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Okay guys....I need to hear from any 50-60 year olds out there who've had rads/surgery/chemo for rectal cancer. My husband is 55, dx with rectal cancer at end of Dec. '05. Had 25 rads, 6 weeks oral Xelota, then a rectal resection on 4-19-06 and has a temporary ileostomy. Six weeks after surgery, we opted for Folfox and he's had 3 treatments. He is experiencing some sensitive male issues that are really working on his head and I have some rather direct questions to ask if anyone thinks they may have similar experiences. Mainly it's about urine incontinence (slight and worse on some days than others) and sexual issues with the male plumbing. I constantly reassure him, but as I say, he's having a great deal of trouble dealing with this and it contributes to depression and anxiety. It's like all this has assaulted his dignity as a man. Help somebody....I'd like to communicate privately by email.
Thanks!

Comments

  • HowardJ
    HowardJ Member Posts: 474
    #2
    Hi,

    I'm not sure I'm the right person to reply since I had surgery only for colon cancer. I think, however, that these problems may be related to radiation exposure and/or the chemo and surgery. Your husband should discuss with his oncologist--the sooner the better for his peace of mind.

    Cancer itself is an assult on our dignity so I can only imagine the impact with these types of problems. If the depression and anxiety continue he might want to find a therapist who specializes in working with cancer patients. I did and it helped a great deal.

    Howard
  • The1Energy
    The1Energy Member Posts: 2
    #3
    Dear Pepperdog,

    I'm 50. In Feb. 2000, I went through a colon re-section and 6 months of Lukv.+5FU; But no radiation. I did a lot of homework on radiation & chemo. My treatment was for a "Dukes 2-B" tumor. My oncologist wanted me to have radiation - however, my research revealed that with a Dukes 2-B tumor, the chance of reoccurrence was not significantly decreased - so I passed on radiation.

    That said, right after surgery I had some debilitating affects from the surgery; of the man-plumbing nature. As I had always been very physical, this was to say the least, shocking for me!!!!! Most of the surgery impact is behind me now. However, it was a tough ride. Us guys don't like to go public with what we can't do anymore. It’s a blow to our ego's. But at some point, we have to face up to our limitations and come to grips with our mortality. We may want to be studs forever, but life is about learning to let go of a little piece of life every day.... just a little piece - not a lot ;o)

    I’ll be more than happy to discuss off-line. See my contact information below.

    In closing, I have two words to all cancer survivors - Wheatgrass Juice. Get a juicer and start growing and juicing wheatgrass. Wheatgrass gave me a new lease on life and restored a lot of the damage that the chemo did.


    Hugs & Hope,

    The1Energy
    The1energy@gmail.com
  • RonWatt
    RonWatt Member Posts: 12
    #4
    Hi pepperdog,I also had rectal cancer.I was diagnosed last year in late Feb.Went through chemo & radiation before surgery.Had the temporary ileostomy and was reversed this last Jan.My private parts were burnt pretty bad by the radiation.I was told that this could effect my sexual activity.Yep. it sure did.The good news is that this is gradually getting better.My Onc. perscribed the little blue pill.This has helped with things starting to work on there own.Without the pill.I also had the urine incontinence,this went away pretty qiuckly.I understand how your husband feels.I'm still dealing with feelings of being inept.I not sure about the spelling of that one.But you know what I mean.My wife has been very supportive through all this.She has shown frustration at times to.So I'm sure that this is difficult for you also.But tell your husband to hang in there.It might take a little time.Even more than he wants,but it will get better.
  • taraHK
    taraHK Member Posts: 1,952 Member
    #5
    I'm female so not in the best position to address this. However, I had radiation/surgery/chemo for rectal cancer. And a permanent colostomy. I understand (esp from when I used to hang out a lot on colostomy discussion boards) that urinary incontinence and sexual issues can occur after surgery/radiation for rectal cancer. I experienced some of both (not male, but female!). I think it is important to discuss this with his doctor(s). Maybe he could get a referral to a urologist (I think that is the right specialty, for guys) who specializes in or knows a lot about cancer treatment side effects. That is what I was able to do (gynecologist) and it was very helpful. Also, as others have said, if he is experiencing anxiety or depression, it might be useful to speak with someone such as a counsellor or therapist (ideally, again, someone who has experience in post-cancer-treatment issues). Again, I did this -- and it was very, very helpful. I also took anti-anxiety medication for a short time. I don't like to 'push' such things, but, I think there can be a place for it. Especially if one isn't sleeping. Best of luck to you both.
  • miss vickie
    miss vickie Member Posts: 10
    #6
    side effects of colon cancsr sexual
    ok i see your writing is a bitold but maybe you can help me, i have written a question in herejust now can you hwlp me
  • miss vickie
    miss vickie Member Posts: 10
    #7
    colon cancer side effects with sec
    ok im new at this so its hard for me, my husband had colon cancer 2 yrs agono chemo or radiation after words he has had sex problems they let up some but have been back for awhile is this normal can some onee help me thanks miss vickie
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
    #8
    miss vickie said:

    side effects of colon cancsr sexual
    ok i see your writing is a bitold but maybe you can help me, i have written a question in herejust now can you hwlp me

    I will do what I can to help you both and the males ...
    Im going to start another thread with specifics about a lot of stuff "manly" and just throw it out there. If anyone wants to ask anything at all fire away and I will do my best to give them my best possible answer as it pertains to me and my experience with colorectal cancer and surgery with permanent ostomy and sex and sexual desires.....You want to know, find the new thread going up and ask......Love Hope and Dr Ruth.....Buzz
  • miss vickie
    miss vickie Member Posts: 10
    #9
    Buzzard said:

    I will do what I can to help you both and the males ...
    Im going to start another thread with specifics about a lot of stuff "manly" and just throw it out there. If anyone wants to ask anything at all fire away and I will do my best to give them my best possible answer as it pertains to me and my experience with colorectal cancer and surgery with permanent ostomy and sex and sexual desires.....You want to know, find the new thread going up and ask......Love Hope and Dr Ruth.....Buzz

    colon cancer after effects
    hi, vickie here my husband had colon cancer 2 yrs ago went threw hell did not need the bag was told it is all gone, no chemo or anything is that right it just doesnt seem that it is to be preventive whynot a treatment after, well any ways aresex life hasnot been right sence then he says he cannot keep an erection very long and his testitcals dont get real hard, is this part of the cancer he had but shoulsdnt it go away by now after all 2 yrs, last yrs colonoscopy showed no signs of cancer hes dofor another one this month buthe also has muscle spasams down in the rectal are bad at time is this normal, thanks forlistening to me
  • miss vickie
    miss vickie Member Posts: 10
    #10
    Buzzard said:

    I will do what I can to help you both and the males ...
    Im going to start another thread with specifics about a lot of stuff "manly" and just throw it out there. If anyone wants to ask anything at all fire away and I will do my best to give them my best possible answer as it pertains to me and my experience with colorectal cancer and surgery with permanent ostomy and sex and sexual desires.....You want to know, find the new thread going up and ask......Love Hope and Dr Ruth.....Buzz

    colon cancer after effects
    hi, vickie here my husband had colon cancer 2 yrs ago went threw hell did not need the bag was told it is all gone, no chemo or anything is that right it just doesnt seem that it is to be preventive whynot a treatment after, well any ways aresex life hasnot been right sence then he says he cannot keep an erection very long and his testitcals dont get real hard, is this part of the cancer he had but shoulsdnt it go away by now after all 2 yrs, last yrs colonoscopy showed no signs of cancer hes dofor another one this month buthe also has muscle spasams down in the rectal are bad at time is this normal, thanks forlistening to me

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