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Very bad nesws from chemo doctor

grandma047
grandma047 Member Posts: 381
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hi all, Hope everyone is doing well. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, they did. I went to my chemo doctor today and he examined my bottom where it hadn't healed. He was very concerned. Says it looks like a tumor in there. He wants to make sure my surgeon does the biopsy on Wednesday. He was going to schedule for an emergency CAT Scan and I told him about not being able to drink the barium without puking my head off, so he's going to wait for the biopsy and then go from there. He says it doesnt look good and that if the cancer is back, as he suspects, it has been very aggressive-AGAIN. He said they
will have to hit me with the most powerful chemo they can. He said that I can't have radiation anymore. He said they would use 4 drugs. He didn't tell me which ones. Anyone have any idea what they would be???? He also said if it's this aggressive, that it may already be in my abdomen and that may be why I've been having so much problems lately. He said that it can spread to all of my abdomen and also to the nerves that move my legs. I started crying and he said that he wasn't wanting to upset me, but he wanted to be honest. I'm very upset right now. Don't know what to do. My emotions are still up and down and then this on top of it. I asked if the chemo would be hard on me and his reply was, "It will not be pretty" and if it's back, "it's very, very bad" and that they will use everything but being this aggressive, he's not even sure they will do the trick. Then he says, don't give up hope yet. Please guys pray for me and I hate to ask, because I never do, I need you guys to be here for me and talk to me and keep me going till I find out what is going on. Then, if it's bad, I'll need you even more. Please, guys, I'm begging. Be here for me. I need you. I'm rambling now, so I'll shut up. Love you all
Love, Judy

Comments

  • nbalantac
    nbalantac Member Posts: 29
    Grandma047,

    Know that there are over 10,000 uf us pulling for you and with you along the way however long it takes to fight this thing. I have been on my knees for you and more so from here and on.

    We love you and we are here for you,

    Noel
  • oneagleswings
    oneagleswings Member Posts: 425
    Hello Judy:
    This will be my first post- I have been reading for awhile but didn't have too much to say- Lisa Rose sent me to this site a few months ago..anyway..your post made me break my silence- my thoughts and prayers are with you and from what I have read all along that you have posted I know that you are incredibly strong- just take a very deep breath- breathe and try to stay calm and focused- you can handle this- you can- that your doc is considering an agressive treatment is good- good prayers are coming your way.
    Bev
  • fedester
    fedester Member Posts: 753
    hi judy,
    sorry to hear of your news, but it looks like he is on the ball. he seems to care alot which is great. he wants to be honest and he said don.t give up hope. it seems u finally have a caring dr.
    judy you must not give up,you have come this far and will get pass this. judy keep the faith. we are all praying for you all of us.
    let us know what happrns with other appointments
    all the best
    bruce
  • This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • rejoyous
    rejoyous Member Posts: 259
    Dear Judy,

    I feel like we're all on this journey together. Who knows where this crazy disease will take any of us, and how fast or slow? All we can do is just live one moment at a time and try to remember to enjoy what we can of what we have.

    Your doctor sounds like a very caring ally in this. And you are going to give it everything you have. I'll be pulling for you and wishing you all the best.

    rejoyous
  • livin
    livin Member Posts: 318
    Hi Judy Iam sorry about your recent news, I pray that things get better for you. Livin
  • alihamilton
    alihamilton Member Posts: 347
    Judy, my prayer and thoughts are with you. Don't give up the fight. I can imagine how you are feeling but there is still stuff they can do. Love and hugs and keep us posted.

    Ali
  • kangatoo
    kangatoo Member Posts: 2,105

    Judy, my prayer and thoughts are with you. Don't give up the fight. I can imagine how you are feeling but there is still stuff they can do. Love and hugs and keep us posted.

    Ali

    Dear Judy. I may often be the last to post sweetie but I still make sure I do if I am home. WE LOVE YOU JUDY----BOTH JEN AND I!!!!!!!!
    Oh so many times I sit here and tell Jen how much I would like to meet you and put my arms around you. For months we have continued to have you in our prayers. That will NEVER change. Be strong and get thru this Judy!
    (((((((((((((Judy))))))))))))))
    our thoughts are with you, Ross and Jen
  • littlejulie
    littlejulie Member Posts: 311
    fedester said:

    hi judy,
    sorry to hear of your news, but it looks like he is on the ball. he seems to care alot which is great. he wants to be honest and he said don.t give up hope. it seems u finally have a caring dr.
    judy you must not give up,you have come this far and will get pass this. judy keep the faith. we are all praying for you all of us.
    let us know what happrns with other appointments
    all the best
    bruce

    as always - you're in my prayers.
  • andreae
    andreae Member Posts: 236
    Dearest Judy,

    I hate to say this, but it sounds like your doctor is giving you a lot of worst case scenarios. You do not know anything definitively yet and to be talking about "aggressive" and tough chemo... Well, it all sounds a little premature to me. I'm sure he's preparing you for worst case scenario but still.... Hang in there Judy. Have hope. You don't know anything yet. We will all most certainly be here. We can and will get through this.

    Lots of love,
    Andrea
  • jana11
    jana11 Member Posts: 705
    andreae said:

    Dearest Judy,

    I hate to say this, but it sounds like your doctor is giving you a lot of worst case scenarios. You do not know anything definitively yet and to be talking about "aggressive" and tough chemo... Well, it all sounds a little premature to me. I'm sure he's preparing you for worst case scenario but still.... Hang in there Judy. Have hope. You don't know anything yet. We will all most certainly be here. We can and will get through this.

    Lots of love,
    Andrea

    I second Andrea. Judy - know that we are here for you. you are with us, and will remain there. keep us posted and try to keep positive. Wait until the facts are all in. Write a list of what you love to do - and do some of it!!
    Thinking of you... jana
  • Kanort
    Kanort Member Posts: 1,272
    Dear Judy,

    Please know that our hearts and prayers are with you today and everyday. Please call a friend or family member to be with you. Try and save your physical and emotional energy until you know exactly what you are having to fight. Thinking and praying for you, Judy.

    Hugs,

    Kay
  • Moesimo
    Moesimo Member Posts: 1,072
    Judy,
    I pray for you everyday.
    I can only imagine what you are going through.
    If I were you, I would ask for a PET/CAT scan, you don't have to drink anything.
    I would get a second opinion at a major cancer center and request to be seen by an oncology surgeon.
    Wait until you have all the facts before you start worrying too much.

    Maureen
  • slammer
    slammer Member Posts: 120
    Hi G-ma Sorry for your news about your ilness, but you asked what 4 he may put you on: Well I too am doing a FOLFOX cocktail of chemo. I have stage 4 re-occurance of the colon, no bag though, and so far my #'s are good, I hope, maybe some lymph nodes. We are going to check this week, but my mixture is 5-FU & Leucovorian (of course) then he added Oxalipatin (eloxatin) & then Avastin , I do 9 hrs chemo at the Center then do the home pump for the neXt 46 hrs (as I am hooked up right now). I feel alittle ill now & then & my bathroom is my home away from anywhere. Good Luck to you and yes I agree with others you need to get your meds straightened out & talk to a real profesional in Cancer emotions. God bless & thoughts are with you today & the next few also..
    Amy
  • kerry
    kerry Member Posts: 1,313
    Judy,

    You are in my prayers.

    Kerry
  • nanuk
    nanuk Member Posts: 1,358
    Judy: my prayers will be with you on Wednesday; ask
    your doc for the names of the proposed drugs so you can come back here and get some feedback, but DON'T buy in to the worst case scenario until you know..I agree with Andrea..keep positive. Nanuk
  • Lisa Rose
    Lisa Rose Member Posts: 594
    Love & Prayer's
    Lisa