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update on Ben again

Tessyann's picture
Posts: 56
Joined: Apr 2004

Hi guys... slowly healing here.. Well Ben has been put on what is called a wound vac to help with healing his incisions wounds..We have slowly been able to close the one at the rectum... but back in Aug he began leaking threw the front on and they had to reopen it from belly button to grion to drain it. The vac is being used on the front incision... what a pain that is tho... it take almost a hour to set it up and must be changed every other day.... Once this is closed Ben will start chemo finally... This will be Ben 4th time on Chemo in 11 years... I am wondering what route they will go this time.. I am worried since it taken so long of spread... but he should be getting new scan soon as they do them on him every 6 months.
Ben has really aged this time and this has taken a terrible toll on him... he spends most of his days sleeping..

alihamilton's picture
Posts: 348
Joined: Jan 2004

I am so sorry you and Ben are going through such a rough time. I can imagine how exhausted you must be. No wonder he sleeps so much.

I must say that this experience does change us all. Even though my husband is presently doing well, close to a year of treatment and complications has really changed him. He is not as confident and says he will never be able to relax again...always waiting for the next test or scan. I do hope Ben heals well from now on and that you are also looking after yourself. Both of you are so strong!

Posts: 835
Joined: Apr 2004

You and Ben sound like you have a remarkable life story that has really shaped tehpeople you have become. I have been living with this diagnosis now for only 8 months but am already aware that myself and my wife will never be the same again. as you say it is hard to relax when you have so blatantly had it proven to you that you don't know what lies around the next corner and we already dread each hosptital visit with its inevitable good/bad news.
However at the same time we know we have also been changed for teh good by this illness. We have a new level of priority as to what to worry about in life and a new appreciation of the goood times. Professionally my wife and I (both doctors) have new empathy with patients that comes from a far greater understanding of their situation and their fears. We appreciate each otehr and our family more and this has drawn all of us closer together.
We both get frustrated that at times it feels like we have lost our carefree lives we were leading before but on reflection it is amazing how little we appreciated what we had. However for every thing we feel we have lost there is a balance of something gained from this that keeps us going. Keeping that balance is what maintains our sanity at times.

Sorry if I'm rambling a bit but your posting did really ring home with me and is similar to our own way of thinking too. I hope that with time your current difficulties will pass and you again be able to move forward with your life despite the changes this illness has inflicted on you. Let us know it goes.

kangatoo's picture
Posts: 2115
Joined: Feb 2004

Well said Steve!--and howyagoin mate???Hope you are well buddy.
Not a lot more I can add Teresa except to say that having this ilness certainly changed our way of life--and brought us much closer together.It is now 1.45 am here so you can see that even my sleeping pattern has been put upset by all this crap. We wish Ben the best and keep you both in our thoughts and prayers.
luv n huggs, kanga n Jen

Anonymous user (not verified)

Ditto to what Kanga just said...Steve said it very well and there isn't a heck of whole lot that I can add either except perhaps to say that you are both a remarkable couple and I wish you nothing but the best. You've hung in there for 11 years and that's one heck of an accomplishment. You must both be pros by now and while it doesn't make any new set backs any easier to take, the strength and bond that you and Ben must surely have developed over this period of time are very strong indeed. I'll be keeping both of you in my prayers for God's continued blessings.


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