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can mom go out?

littlejulie's picture
Posts: 311
Joined: Mar 2004

hi everyone,
It's been one month since my mother's sugery for rectal cancer. I want to get my mother out of the house! She feels confined to the house because of her bowel movments. She starts chemo on Monday and I think now would be a better time than ever to take her out for dinner. She's very paranoid about her gas and bowel movements. I feel if she gets a little push out the door she'll enjoy going out for dinner. Should I not pressure her?


Posts: 100
Joined: Mar 2004

hi julie -

I forced my mom to go out for dinnner about two and a half weeks after her last surgery (we went to cafe nervosa in yorkville :)
anyways - one thing to make sure of is that she is close to the "ladies room" b/c she will probably get up to go quite often, and also that she does not eat too much (b/c then the next day she may get bad cramps/constipated)

I think that would be a great idea !

Call me if you want to chat more...

Posts: 708
Joined: May 2004

Julie, I agree. Get mom out. Gentle push though. My first dinner out after surgery took me a long while, but I had a whopper of a surgery. BUT I was soooo happy to get out.

Go on a weeknight so the crowds will be less and call ahead to get a table near the bathroom for mom. Make sure she dresses comfortable, but looks good. Help her with her usual - if she wears makeup, have her put it on. If she feels she looks her best, she will be more comfortable stepping out.

Enjoy the dinner out. Oh, you could always start with lunch out - just an idea.


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kangatoo's picture
Posts: 2115
Joined: Feb 2004

Hiya Julie--here's a thought.Why not find a really nice outdoor park or somewhere quiet where there won't be too many people, maybe beside a river/lake/ gardens etc., but with clean facilities close handy.Contact one or two of her very close friends--make it a surprise!Pack a picnic lunch with all of her favourite foods.Fresh air, some sunshine and very special people to enjoy the day together.
Just a thought Julie--our best to you and your mum---kanga n Jen

spongebob's picture
Posts: 2598
Joined: Apr 2003

Julie -

One of the biggest enemies and most constant foes to cancer patients is depression. Getting out of the house is one of the best ways to fight it. A gentle nudge out the door - even if only to do some gardening, take a walk in the sunshine, have dinner/lunch, see a movie, or take in a Chippendale's Dancer retrospective is a great thing to do. Lots of great ideas here from folks. The most important thing though... GET HER OUT OF THAT HOUSE!

Have fun!!

- SpongeBob

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