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Hospice care

Ruthmomto4
Ruthmomto4 CSN Member Posts: 708 Member
edited May 2021 in Colorectal Cancer #1

My husband allowed the hospice nurse to come. I didn't think he would, and I didn't think he understood it means no more treatment at all. In all honesty he cant have any so there is no point. So he has an infection from his drain, it has caused small undrainable abscesses to form. Basically they gave him antibiotics to take until the antibiotics no longer work anymore and he becomes septic. It won't be long after that. I am barely keeping it together, it's a bit easier right now because he is acting normal. other than his incredible weight loss you would never know he was sick. I don't want to know or even have anyone guess at a timeline there is a tiny bit of me that hopes the dr at the hospital is wrong and maybe the antibiotics will work. I am not fooling myself I know it most likely won't but maybe. I know should be grateful we had 11 years from diagnosis but I am angry.

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Comments

  • abita
    abita CSN Member Posts: 1,152 Member
    edited May 2021 #2
    I am so sorry. I wish I had

    I am so sorry. I wish I had more words to comfort you. My heart aches for you.

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  • Trubrit
    Trubrit CSN Member Posts: 5,808 Member
    edited May 2021 #3
    Damn it, Ruth!

    It hurts to read this. 

    You go ahead and be angry. It isn't fair; none of it is fair. 

    It doesn't matter how many years he's been in the fight, you will always want more, and rightly so. 

    I do so hope that when the time comes, that it is without too much pain - but like you, I wish for that miracle. They do happen you know; so keep on wishing. 

    Tru

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  • PamRav
    PamRav CSN Member Posts: 348 Member
    edited May 2021 #4
    Sorry

    I am so sorry for you and your family.  This is a damnable disease. 
    Wishing you all comfort and peace 

    Pam 

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  • SandiaBuddy
    SandiaBuddy CSN Member Posts: 1,381 Member
    #5
    Heart wrenching

    Such a heart wrenching situation.  I know no words to say.  But please understand we are on your side and ready to be supportive in any way possible.

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  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties CSN Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    edited May 2021 #6
    so sorry to hear this news

    It is always difficult to hit this part of the journey...I went thru it with my sister.  

    May your dear hubby be pain free and know what a loving wife he has.

    May you both have the most time possible together.

    Hugs

    Marie who loves kitties

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  • MandiePandie
    MandiePandie CSN Member Posts: 109 Member
    edited May 2021 #7
    I’m so sorry

    Sorry and angry this is happening. I don't think you are fooling yourself by hoping for a good response to the antibiotic. I'm hoping for it too. 

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  • Lily Flower
    Lily Flower CSN Member Posts: 260 Member
    edited May 2021 #8
    You're such an upbeat person,

    You're such an upbeat person, Ruth, always caring for your family and you have a beautiful one!  So it hurts reading this,  There's no fooling of hoping.  All it takes is a flicker of hope is what gives us the strength. 

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  • DanNH
    DanNH CSN Member Posts: 186 Member
    edited May 2021 #9
    Antibiotics and Prayer

    What is your husbands first name? I want to pray for him. Prayer and antibiotics are a powerful combination. Despare is the enemy of hope. I keep that message posted close by so that I can remind myself of that when things seem darkest.

    Dan

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  • beaumontdave
    beaumontdave CSN Member Posts: 1,303 Member
    edited May 2021 #10
    I too am sad to hear this,

    I too am sad to hear this, doubly so because of what I remember of the time now nearing 6 1/2 years past. You and he have my thoughts and hopes for a profound improvement..........................Dave

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  • worriedson714
    worriedson714 CSN Member Posts: 333 Member
    #11
    Praying for your husband and you

    Praying for a miracle for you and your husband no one deserves it more 

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  • SnapDragon2
    SnapDragon2 CSN Member Posts: 722 Member
    edited May 2021 #12
    Ruth,  I would be angry too,

    Ruth,  I would be angry too, most would.  Perfectly natural to feel that way after your husband beat cancer then have this happen.  

    Get as angry as need be for peace to follow.

    You all are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  • myAZmountain
    myAZmountain CSN Member Posts: 417 Member
    #13
    Heart is breaking

    For you and your dear husband and you family.  Hoping he is comfortable as possible and finds some peace. 

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  • Canadian Sandy
    Canadian Sandy CSN Member Posts: 784 Member
    #14
    There is always hope And

    There is always hope and miracles really do happen. Prayers sent your way and May God bless you both! 

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  • Kazenmax
    Kazenmax CSN Member Posts: 463 Member
    #15
    Ruth, I'm so sorry for this.

    Ruth, I'm so sorry for this. It's been a long fight. I can't imagine. Please take care of yourself. Sending you love and strength.

    K

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  • LindaK.
    LindaK. CSN Member Posts: 506 Member
    edited June 2021 #16
    Thinking of you

    Ruth, I don't get on here much anymore, but I read your news and my heart sank.  I don't know if you have any updates since this post, but I know what you are going through.  It is tough, but no one can walk this walk for you.  If I could send you a hug and strength, I would.  

    Linda

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  • Ruthmomto4
    Ruthmomto4 CSN Member Posts: 708 Member
    #17
    Thank you everyone

    He is still fighting but getting very weak. He threw up blood today so I think the end is coming. I keep having meltdowns and had to stop in the grocery store to calm down. I am not ready to live my life without him. my heart is breaking slowly it's like torture. 

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  • abita
    abita CSN Member Posts: 1,152 Member
    edited June 2021 #18
    Ruthmomto4 said:

    Thank you everyone

    He is still fighting but getting very weak. He threw up blood today so I think the end is coming. I keep having meltdowns and had to stop in the grocery store to calm down. I am not ready to live my life without him. my heart is breaking slowly it's like torture. 

    I am so sorry. My heart is

    I am so sorry. My heart is breaking for you. 

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  • SnapDragon2
    SnapDragon2 CSN Member Posts: 722 Member
    edited June 2021 #19
    I've been thinking about you

    I've been thinking about you all so much.  Not being able to help/fix him has to be the worst torture as you said.

    Losing two sisters to CF was just enough to make me go crazy with the helplessness I felt in the whole process.

    Let those emotions out when they come, all of them.  It will help you get through this with a little more mental strength/clarity for the days to come.

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  • Trubrit
    Trubrit CSN Member Posts: 5,808 Member
    edited June 2021 #20
    It is torture, Ruth

    You chose the right word.

    You will never be ready, there is no 'getting ready' not emotionally. You may be able to take care of buisiness, but emotionally, it is a lost cause. 

    Thinking of you and your lovely family. 

    Tru

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  • PamRav
    PamRav CSN Member Posts: 348 Member
    edited June 2021 #21
    My thoughts

    Are with you and your family 

    p

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