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Dad and me been talking

worriedson714's picture
worriedson714
Posts: 311
Joined: Dec 2019

                 My dad and me been talking his last pet scan showed what there calling a " highly suspicious " for malignancy mass in his pelvis . It didn't grow since last pet scan and FDG uptake actually went down slightly so the radiation oncologist was stumped . He still wanted to do radiation but he admitted he couldn't say 100 percent my dad still has cancer cause this mass is not on the tailbone where the surgeon said she left cancer . Personally to me no answer is kind of unacceptable how can we fight cancer if they won't commit to a answer if he has it or not ? Also he has some thickening in his tongue and slight FDG uptake(Has had a fibroma tumor there for 20 years from NF)  and kidney issues other things I am afriad they will have no answer for . 

                Also the oncologist we see tomorrow has already been wrong once telling us my dad's cancer spread to his abdominal lining . My dad also has neurofibrmatasios which the oncologist and radiation oncologist are saying is causing this lack of answers . I feel like if docs can't give you answers then it's time for another opinion cause waiting forever isn't a option . My dad admits he don't trust this oncologist cause he was wrong once but says he still is unsure what to do cause this is like his 3rd set of doctors . 

           So my question is for a cancer patient is it acceptable for the oncologist and radiation oncologist to not have answers ? Is it acceptable for them to want to do treatment without even knowing my dad for sure still has cancer ? Is this just a part of having cancer sometimes there is just no answer and waiting ? I honestly want my dad to go to a bigger cancer center and find a oncologist who has experience with neurofibrmatasios I know this is my dad's choice but I am just looking for opinions about this and what others would do in a situation like this . Just trying to make sure I give my dad the right advice and that telling him I think he should change doctors isn't just me being a worried son . 

Tueffel's picture
Tueffel
Posts: 300
Joined: Feb 2020

Doctors will never say 100%. I am afraid that you will not get an answer in this case. 100% in medicine does not exist, the same as 0%. The highest percentage you can get in medicine is 99,9%. So, I believe if one doctor tells you "I am 100% sure" then he is not a good doctor. 

Trust in your doctor is very important because it improves survival proven by studies. 

I might be biased but I dont think doctors know all the answers all the time. Also doctors are human. But there are good and bad doctors. Good doctors will say "I dont have the answer yet but I will ask/research etc" In other words good doctors will go the extra mile to find an answer for you and will answer your questions the best they can (ofc they cant answer if there are no resources, still it is the honest way to say that you couldnt find answers). Bad doctors dont do that because imo they simply dont care then. 

I dont know how much that will help you and your dad. I hope you will know what to do soon

worriedson714's picture
worriedson714
Posts: 311
Joined: Dec 2019

Makes sense doctors can never be 100 percent but I still feel they could be more sure then what my dad's doctors are . I mean even as they recommend treatment they clearly aren't to confident in it . Idk oncologist appointment is in a hour so we will see thanks for the reply .

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