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timeline

cheatinlil's picture
cheatinlil
Posts: 202
Joined: Jun 2014

This site was a tremendous help and the beginning of our journey.

Everyone is different but when I was going through it I wanted examples of timelines. 

Here is ours:

12/4/2012 hubby had cancerous tumor removed from his kidney.

6/25/2014 Stage 4 advanced and aggressive.

 

6/25/2020 oncologist said treatment is no longer working. Hospice came to our house to register him. 

 

07/09/2020 oxygen use daily.

 

9/29/2020 He was still independent, walking, talking, driving, showering all on his own. 

 

10/10 started using wheelchair 

10/13 hospital bed delivered

10/15 bed-ridden 

10/23 hospice nurse said she will start visiting twice a week. 

10/24 mind still alert with a little confusion.

10/26 last bowel movement. started soft food diet.

10/28 catheter

10/30 a.m. 2 oz pudding/last meal; last time he spoke.

10/30 nurse assessed not active.

10/30 4:00 p.m. not communicating/just mumbles.  

10/31 nurse assessed not active dying 

11/1 4:00 p.m. nurse assessed he is now active dying; She recommended inpatient hospice to make him more comfortable. They could make him comfortable and release him back home.

7:00 p.m. they transported him. 

10:00 p.m. the nurse said he could be here 2 more weeks but there are no guarantees. she urged me to go home and get some sleep. I had been giving him comfort meds every 3-4 hours for about 48 hours.

11:00 p.m. I got home while his daughter stayed. 

11/2 2:00 a.m. passed away 

 

Sending much love and light on everyone's journey.

 💔❤

Deanie0916
Posts: 390
Joined: Nov 2016

May good memories and the love you shared keep you comforted💕

cheatinlil's picture
cheatinlil
Posts: 202
Joined: Jun 2014

thank you for your kind words. <3 

donna_lee's picture
donna_lee
Posts: 1001
Joined: Feb 2009

And so very touching for you to record your journey for us.  Thanks from the bottom of my heart.

Following my second bout of surgery in 2006, I took the 13 week Hospice volunteer training.  The who, what, when, how and why of Hospice care, including a visit to a mortuary and the back rooms.  I was curious as to what I, personally would go through when the time came.  And it helped immensely when my husband's mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a few years ago.

She was in assisted living, so most of the physical care was done for her.  But as a family member, she had her own built-in hospice volunteer, until the final two weeks when Hospice care had to be called in.

It brings tears up...she died 50 years and to the hour that we were all celebrating Dave's and my wedding.  

pause... Again thanks, and I'm so sorry for your loss.  Not a journey we want to face.

Hugs, donna_lee

 

cheatinlil's picture
cheatinlil
Posts: 202
Joined: Jun 2014

It's so good to see your name pop up. I believe you were on this site when I was actively posting. I see other people who have been here a long time too.

I love that you volunteered at Hospice.  Some of us are just doers and we just take the bull by the horns of life.

My Mom is in assisted living. When I talk to her some of her symptoms are just sounding too familiar.

 

 It's unfortunate that it sounds like you have a lot of experience in this area. Experience you never wanted to have.

Hugs right back at ya!

Tugguy
Posts: 10
Joined: Oct 2020

May the sadness you have now be replaced in the future with only happy memories.

eug91's picture
eug91
Posts: 311
Joined: Jan 2019

He was lucky to have you. Wishing you peace.

Canadian Sandy's picture
Canadian Sandy
Posts: 700
Joined: Jul 2016

So sorry for your loss. I lost my hubby of 30 years in March and this is not easy. Treasure your moments together. God bless.

cheatinlil's picture
cheatinlil
Posts: 202
Joined: Jun 2014

thank you all: tugguy eug91 Canadian sandy!! hugs on your journey 

Allochka's picture
Allochka
Posts: 949
Joined: Nov 2014

Very sorry to hear that...  You were a great help for your hubby. I hope your pain will subside and only warm memories will remain

 

Hugs,

Alla 

cheatinlil's picture
cheatinlil
Posts: 202
Joined: Jun 2014

thank you for the kind words. I remember you from when I was active on this site.  I hope you and your loved one are doing well. hugs right back to you!

Biner
Posts: 82
Joined: Apr 2020

Sorry for your loss,no words young healthy Cry

I understand he has small mass 1 stage in 2012,and after it come back in aggressive form?I scary because I had a small mass and 3 stage, and also aggressive,looks like here is no hope

stub1969's picture
stub1969
Posts: 888
Joined: Jul 2016

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I'm sure your presence in his final days helped give him peace and comfort.  I pray the wonderful memories of your life together outweigh the struggles at the end.

Take care-

Stub

cheatinlil's picture
cheatinlil
Posts: 202
Joined: Jun 2014

Binder

Honestly in 2012 they removed the tumor and gave him paperwork that basically said they got it all. He was supposed to go back for a follow up and he didn't. I think they didnt communicate with him well. He never really understood that it was cancerous until 2014. In 2013 he got on humira for rheumatoid arthritis. the questionnaire asked if he ever had cancer and he said no. The Humira is what caused the flare up. Its devastating. Patients really need an advocate or to advocate for themselves.

 

Stub

Thank you for your kind words. We had a good run. We lived every day like it was our last. There was no time to argue and we forgave quickly. It was a good life in spite of the cancer.

Biner
Posts: 82
Joined: Apr 2020

I totally agree with you, I the same situation I was lucky to an incident finding a complex cyst, and the urologist said don't worry it just a cyst, less 1% malignant after a year it doubles in size and was 3 stage aggressive cancer. I lost my time and now no big chances survive

cheatinlil's picture
cheatinlil
Posts: 202
Joined: Jun 2014

Biner,

I'm sorry to hear of your diagnosis. It's a  tough journey.  Me and my husband enjoyed most of our days. We lived our lives to the fullest. We didn't fight about dumb stuff. We forgave quickly when we did fight. We loved more deeply. I hope you find joy in your journey. I'm finding even with his death our sweet memories and the joy lives with the pain in my soul. This is a great Forum. I found a lot of help here in the beginning. Sending you live and light.

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