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Msboop15's picture
Msboop15
Posts: 81
Joined: Apr 2019

Hi!

1/31 Colonoscopy - I had been passing blood.  5 inch tumor.   Nothing else lit up in the CT scan done that day except a very teeny tiny spot on my lung. 

2/25 Colon resection.  Was in the hospital for 10 days due to complications post-op.  Stage 3b - 1 lymph node. Oncologist visited me in the hospital and said he wasn’t concerned about the tiny spot on my lung then changed his mind after noting in file I was a former smoker. 

3/14 Pet scan 

3/22 Met with oncologist. Tiny spot on lung is no concern, no other lymph nodes. Pet scan showed met to liver - only 1 mass. 

That changed everything! I was pretty calm about the 3b diagnosis but the Liver involvement has me reeling.

So now we are adding Avastin to the Folfox protocol. 4 treatments over 8 weeks then another PET. Then, presumably liver resection.  

1st treatment 10 days ago  

 I read all of your posts and I am inspired by your desire to beat this thing. I’m not sure I’ve got a strong enough will to live to go through this.  I am by no means suicidal. I am just very concerned about the quality of my life. It has already started to deteriorate from a fatigue standpoint. I have always been very high energy...not so much now.  I had actually noticed I was slowing down at the gym before the diagnosis. 

I know we all have to make our own decision as to how far we want to go with treatment, when we want to stop, etc. I appreciate your openness and honesty on this forum. It’s all good information for me. I know each one of our cases, while maybe similar, are all different. 

 I guess at this point I just want to thank you for being here. 

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 4900
Joined: Jan 2013

Sorry you had to find yourself here, but now you are, jump right in and join the gang. 

Don't think too far ahead.  take one day at a time. Fatigue is such a common side-effect, but it won't last forever. Once you're through with chemo, your energy levels will rise again. 

Be sure and talk about liver ablation with your surgeon. If that one met is in the right place, and is small enough, you may be a candidate for ablation, which is allot less invasive than a resection.   But, thats in the future.  Get yourself through this stage. 

Tru

danker
Posts: 1191
Joined: Apr 2012

It may be a bumppy ride,but cancer can be beat.  I was 77 when dxed-currently 86 and still NED (no evedence of disease)As Trubrit said just live a day at a time and you may be NED like us!! Good luck!

JanJan63's picture
JanJan63
Posts: 2482
Joined: Sep 2014

Is it possible that the chemo will eliminate the liver met? And the lung met? I have a bunch of tiny mets scattered through my liver and I'm hoping we'll find that at my next CT stand they're disappeared.

By the way, welcome! You're with a great bunch of people now. I don;t know what I'd have done if I hadn't found this forum. It's inspirational and empowering. Knowledge is power, as they say, and with cancer that couldn't be more true.

I had no idea what I was up against so I never wondered if I could get through it. I think you'll find that you're much tougher and stronger than you could have imagined. And generally it doesn't happen all at once so you get breathers in between. Two hints that I can give you. One was told to me by my surgeon. He said to always remember that I make the decisions and if I don;t want to do something or don't feel comfortable with a plan, I don't have to do it. I'm in the driver's seat. The second is that if you aren't experienced with mindfulness you should try to learn how. It's pretty easy and basic but it has helped me though some really scary, tough, and painful times. When I was at a cancer retreat they were very dtermined we all learn how and let us know the importance. It will get you through some tough times in all areas of your life.

Jan

Msboop15's picture
Msboop15
Posts: 81
Joined: Apr 2019

Thank you for your insight. 

After my first visit with the oncologist I got really clear about being in the driver‘s seat. He has a lot more knowledge about all this than I have.  I will listen & I will ask questions but ultimately I have make the decisions.   

Fortunately, I am familiar with mindfulness and I think that that will help me with the necessary decision making.  Get quiet, get out of my ego and the answers will come  

Good luck with your horse. They’re very special animals. 

SandiaBuddy's picture
SandiaBuddy
Posts: 912
Joined: Apr 2017

Like you, before my surgery, I kept getting weaker and weaker in the gym.  I figured it was just aging, but apparently the cancer robs you of some of your energy.  Post surgery, after chemo (which is no fun, no matter how you look at it), my energy has improved.  There is the definite potential for things to get better.  You say you are low on energy, that is natural, but please do not give up on your energy for life.  From my perspective, I have an obligation to live each precious minute.

Msboop15's picture
Msboop15
Posts: 81
Joined: Apr 2019

Glad to hear your energy has improved after chemo. 

Good point about not giving up on my energy for life. You’ve got a great attitude. Mine‘s not really negative but right now don’t have a real zest for life either. That could change...

beaumontdave's picture
beaumontdave
Posts: 1006
Joined: Aug 2013

Click on our names for details, but I walked a similar path with chemo and liver resections, and I'm here, NED. I'm sorry you joined this club, but you can get through it.............................................................Dave

Msboop15's picture
Msboop15
Posts: 81
Joined: Apr 2019

You’ve been walking this path for 12 years?!? 

Loved what you wrote about this journey changes you...no question about that!   I am so new to all of it and yet I am very aware that I just don’t see things the same way I saw them before my diagnosis. Not good or bad...just different. 

I really hope all goes well for you in the coming months. 

Butt's picture
Butt
Posts: 325
Joined: May 2018

i suggest you consult a liver surgeon. You may be resectable and it is good.

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6249
Joined: Feb 2009

You have joined a group who is here to help you get through this emotionally and with a lot of knowledge and experience.  Although I'm not able to help you with your "cocktail" that you are on, there are a lot of people here with mets to the liver that have been here for years.  It sounds like your doctor is on top of things and has a plan set for your treatment and you are well on your way.  You need to give it a little time for the treatments to work and then a possible surgery for the liver.  When they cut it out you have a better chance since the spot will be removed.  Wishing you luck and please come back here for further questions, concerns and support.

Kim

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