Salad Days

Sandiabuddy:

I have always (with the exception of some military times) maintained a garden.  It is my passion and tomatoes have always been my favorite produce. 

It has been four months since my ileostomy reversal surgery and I am now eating as many tomatoes, cucumbers, and sweet banana peppers out of my garden as I can swallow.  Fortunately, they do not have any negative affect on my bowels.  I am very lucky and so thankful.  In fact, this was one of my greatest concerns during my reversal surgery process and I am so thankful that I can once again consume them.  Did I say that I am thankful?

By the way, if any one needs some I will be more than happy to give them to you, but you'll need to come visit me to get them - HA!

Jim

Sandia,

Thanks for the great, inspiring post. My wife and I went to France in the spring, and I found during many days (but not all) I did not think about my condition.  I am a big advocate of positive thinking and keeping a good attitude, and I do so on a daily basis, regardless of the potential outcome of my disease.

Thanks for your keen insights and keeping it positive.

Otto

I'm so glad to hear that some people have them. For me, I feel so lousy every day that I don't think I ever get one anymore. I remember whining to my husband about how I wish I could get a holiday day from feeling crappy and then realized it would probably make the rest of the days seem even worse. And I don't think I realize just how crappy I feel because it's been so long since I've felt normal. I can't make plans beyond today because I get sick and feeling really lousy without reason so I can't predict or prevent it. I just wake up some mornings and there it is, a worse than usual day. 

And I don't even want to talk about salad specifically because I can't eat it due to getting partial blockages and I miss it SO much.

Sorry, I wish I could relate to what you guys have. Hiking? I can barely walk a block before I start stmbling because I'm so weak. I work out but it seems like I got to a certain point and can't get beyond it. When I asked my doctor why I'm so fatigued all the time he said "you have stage four cancer, I think you're doing really well". Ugh, I'm just grumpy today. Went out to see my horse and didn't have the energy to ride him. I'm sick and tored of being sick and tired. The oils don't seem to work at all anymore.

Jan

  When I first opened the thread I thought it was about eating our way to a better place.  Can't disagree with that.   I've made up my mind to get back into the swing of things as best I can.  I'm still controlled mostly by my necessary proximity to a bathroom.  Yup, even 6 months out from surgery I still get the poops every hour or so.  Although I think it's mostly stress induced.  There are good days where I don't think of it at all.  Today would have been one had it not been for the CSN interview I volunteered for, lol.  Yup, they got me. It was interesting in that they're looking for ways to improve the site.  The one thing I told them they need to do is block the snake oil.   It's still here, aprcote seeds, diatomaceous earth, raising alkalinity to kill cancer, blah blah, all the usual suspects. 

   Maybe I should create a new thread for this but on these "salad days" is the thought of cancer absent?  On days where it is thought about are there more frequent bathroom visits?  For me, absolutely there is a correlation.

I find I'm pretty bouyant on a daily basis, still working, still moving. I can't hike during off-time, because the feet can't take the pounding and still be good at work, so alot of my getting out is with my mind. At some point I'll start the car trips that I'd hoped Cindy and I would have, but for now salad days are very much the state of mind I can carry through tasks, big and small. Trying for too much bliss of course comes with a letdown so I aim for the small pleasures of life, and the absence or minimalizing of pain. My newest struggle is pretty light-weight compared to most here; the English Bulldog I sold my bike to get for Cindy after she was diagnosed is 9 and a half years old now. Harleys blind can't hardly smell, barley hears much and likes to stay in my room, under my desk or by my bed. He can still get up, but he's not alerting me to take him out for potty breaks any more, just dropping it on the bathroom floor, if I'm sleeping. He doesn't seem to be in great discomfort, still takes his biscuit treats when I give them. I've begun pondering the inevitable, read on vet sites, mentally preparing for the decision to put him down, but I can't even write the sentence without my eyes watering. 3years 3months out from losing the wife, and yet I'm still so emotionally brittle. I guess surviving battles of the kind here, hasn't made stronger in the way I thought it might. "Salad days "is an interesting term, and I have plenty enough of them, but still, getting to the state of mental freedom and minimal responsibility that I am looking for, is a ways off. "Cancer" may not pop in my head most days anymore, but there's always something else of some weight willing to take its place. Oh well, back to trying to practice mindfulness and Stoicism, I've got to get better at those disciplines eventually, right?................................................Dave