One of those days!

Kat23502
Kat23502 Member Posts: 179

For the most part, I do my follow-ups and take care of myself physically, but I don't think of my kidney cancer every minute like I used to. However, today has been one of those days I can't get it out of my head. I know I'm extremely lucky that I found this cancer on myself, but it feels so strange to think lucky and cancer in the same thoughts. Just a bit of a struggle today!

Comments

  • daisybud
    daisybud Member Posts: 527 **
    Totally get it

    I can go along great and live life without thinking about cancer every minute of every day,  but some days I still get scared and have days where it consumes most of my thoughts. I never read stuff online anymore bc it scares the crap out of me.  I guess it's normal.  You are not alone in this struggle.

    Kim

  • Steve.Adam
    Steve.Adam Member Posts: 463
    edited June 2017 #3
    And ninety years later...

    One day, far far in the future, I hope you suddenly have this thought... 'Damn it! I worried about the wrong thing!'

    The sames goes for me too, of course.

    Steve.

  • BoondockSaint
    BoondockSaint Member Posts: 242
    I think it's just human

    I think it's just human nature to worry. I can tell there are days that my wife seems a bit distant, or she'll have that  1000 yard stare on her face and I can tell she's in a deep thought. 

    Same goes for loved ones too. I worry.......but not as much as before. we both try not to let it consume us, as hard as that may be to do.

    sometimes the worst place in the world to be is inside your own head.

    Hang in the Kat....big hugs from us.

  • foxhd
    foxhd Member Posts: 3,181
    Thats why

    we're here. We don't need brain mets for head issues. But we need healthy ned people like you to show us there is life after neph. It is easy to mentally crash once in a while. Let it happen. 2-3 days of a bummer trip is temporary. You've dodged the bullet. Life is great and you are sitting on top of the world. I would bet a little survivors guilt adds to your distress. Not an emotion we have much experience with. FLY.

  • lobbyist0724
    lobbyist0724 Member Posts: 477 **
    Same here :) 

    Same here :) 

    I used to worry about it everyday and now transitioned to "thinking" about it everyday. But sometimes, muscle pain or whatever pain can easily trigger the "Worry about it" symtom. Then I will tell myself "Let go........."

  • CRashster
    CRashster Member Posts: 241
    edited June 2017 #7
    Cancer.

    Sometimes, I have PTSD like moments. Mostly, when I'm driving. I'll be fine and suddenly realize I had/have cancer. It's usually intensely emotional and I end up crying some, but end up feeling better after. I think it's part of healing.

  • donna_lee
    donna_lee Member Posts: 1,018 **
    Saw your post yesterday, but no time to answer then...

    Sorry to hear the doldrums have set in.  It does seem to take the wind out of your sails.  It truly is an up and down thing, and still stikes me.  It's not as frequently or as severe; but it is there at times.  I can see an ad on TV, read a news or feature story, or someone will ask me how I'm doing with a very pointed look on their face.  And I think, "Oh, Cancer...sh**!

    It's normal, it's a cruddy feeling, and it will probably never completely go away.  It just gets less attention in my brain when it does occur.

    I hope you feel better today than you did when your wrote the post.Laughing

    Hugs.  And thanks for your input on CT's.  It helps to have our own, private advisor.

    donna_lee

  • APny
    APny Member Posts: 1,995
    I'm the same way. Perfectly

    I'm the same way. Perfectly fine for the longest time then wham! Hugs.

  • Kat23502
    Kat23502 Member Posts: 179
    Thanks guys, I appreciate you

    Thanks guys, I appreciate you all so much. I am feeling back to myself today!

  • Tucdon
    Tucdon Member Posts: 19
    Hope

    Hi Kat,

      I am only about 6 weeks past surgery but all seems to be going good. I wish the best for you too. I think it is only humn to think about such a great event but you hae to keep positive and remember we got this far and are blessed . I'm sory I did not get on  here yesterday.

     

  • CRashster
    CRashster Member Posts: 241
    Americas Got Talent

    little girl singing for her dad who has colon cancer. Yeah, I didn't make it. It's funny how they don't understand why I have to change channels...

  • Allochka
    Allochka Member Posts: 981 **
    I can't watch a movie where

    I can't watch a movie where somebody has cancer anymore, I just can't... Well, it is the same for all great stresses in life. My friend was in Nepal during 2015 eartquake, it hit her group hard. She couldn't watch Everest movie either, because they were showing familiar views and vistas. She was crying and turning away

  • CRashster
    CRashster Member Posts: 241
    edited June 2017 #14
    50/50

    It's like that 50/50 movie. I saw it pre-cancer and it was a pretty good movie. I watch it now and it's a totally different experience. It's funny because alot of it seems accurate per my experience.

  • lobbyist0724
    lobbyist0724 Member Posts: 477 **
    edited June 2017 #15
    CRashster said:

    50/50

    It's like that 50/50 movie. I saw it pre-cancer and it was a pretty good movie. I watch it now and it's a totally different experience. It's funny because alot of it seems accurate per my experience.

    I watched it too, and it is a

    I watched it too, and it is a good movie. I really like the ending when it makes it feel like the tumor is gone and no need to worry about it ;)

  • foroughsh
    foroughsh Member Posts: 779
    I get you

    I get you

    After almost three years I strill struggle with it sometimes, definitely not as much as earlier but it seems like this thought is at the corner waiting for a good time to attack me. Once I'm on my period and I'm emotionally exhausted this thought comes to my mind. Once I've had a rough day it comes back to my mind and hurts me but I've learned how to deal with it. I close my eye and begin imagining good future, such as me being an elderly having all my grandkids around me, or my hubby and I with white hair traveling around the world after our retirement. These positive imagination helps me feel better, sometimes​ I see myself speaking about my cancer experience and helping newbies twenty years from now.

    We all might have some bad days but at the end we can beat terrifiing thoughts.