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after surgery scared to go to Dr and take meds.

LvGuy1
Posts: 54
Joined: Oct 2016

I am woundering if this is normal. I had open surgery on 12/20/16 and now i am scared to go to the Dr. or tell them any new symptoms or problems i am having , I have also quit taking most of my medications as i am scared that they might end up causing any more or other cancer to grow. I know that this is something that i need to work out but dont really know how to do it, and i know that my Dr will also tell me its all in my head but its just that knawing feeling i have. As far as any side effects i dont have any except for the ED part and hot flashes but think thats from low T (Will be checked) so i am grateful for that but still. Dont know if i am making any sense or not but its what i am feeling. Thanks

 

VascodaGama's picture
VascodaGama
Posts: 2958
Joined: Nov 2010

Your post makes no sense. What is happening?

Your story is here; https://csn.cancer.org/node/307493

VG

LvGuy1
Posts: 54
Joined: Oct 2016

VascodaGama, Everything seems to be going great but i am scared and feel that this cancer is going to come back and bite me in my hindend. and that the meds that i take are going to make the cancer come back. Its like all the feelings i should have had before surgery are now hitting me. Every time something new comes up with my body i think it is the cancer. I know they told me that they got it all but it dont make me feel better. I do go to a psychiatrist and when i saw her in Feb she didnt even think twice about it. now i have my 4 mo visit with my primary in 2 weeks and its like whats the use. i dont really want to  know what my psa is going to be. And i want to find out if this is a normal feeling some people get or if i am "Going Crazy" over this. I cant be the only guy with these thoughts can I ?? Its not like i am going to hurt myself or anything but trying to find out an answer. Hope this explains it a little better. 

VascodaGama's picture
VascodaGama
Posts: 2958
Joined: Nov 2010

We all feel anxious before any PSA. We expect the worse. I think it wrong to consult a psychiatrist at such a status, in particular if one is recommended tablets for depression. You need to confront the situation with heads-up. Yoga or meditation or an exclusive hobby of your preference is better. Just engage doing something instead of looking for refuge in pills.

What are you taking? Is it related to the PCa treatment?

 

LvGuy1
Posts: 54
Joined: Oct 2016

No not related to my PCA. they are for Bi-Polar, sleeping, high blood pressure (stopped as BP has been normal and was getting low), folic acid , and Lyrica for fibromyalgia. 

 

VascodaGama's picture
VascodaGama
Posts: 2958
Joined: Nov 2010

LvGuy,

I did not know of your other health issues. I am sorry for my above posts.

We survivors of PCa all get depressed when the time for the next PSA test gets closer. This is not a condition only experienced by you. I also do not think that the medications you are taking would prejudice your PCa treatment success. I also have been taking since 2001 medication for BP and daily aspirin. Nothing of these might end up causing cancer. I wonder if giving up with the meds is OK for your other health issues. You may find other means to replace the sleeping pills but should follow your doctor's advice.

Hope you manage to get out of this depressing moment.

VG

LvGuy1
Posts: 54
Joined: Oct 2016

Dont be sorry, You have gone by what was posted and gave a suggestion. I also agree that Drs are fast at giving out medication for almost everything these days as if they will solve all of lifes problems, and it is up to each of us to either take them or not. I have never liked pills myself after i found myself taking over 25 meds a day back in 2003 when it seemed when all my medical problems began until 2015 when i started getting off almost everything under my Drs. supervision of course. as for the other medical issues i guess thats going to be a wait and see situation with the medications. I am sure that this mood of depression (?) if thats what it is as they say in AA This to shall pass. 

 

Grinder
Posts: 437
Joined: Mar 2017

Hey... I know this is tough but I can second the above recommendation meditation. What religion do you practice? Most have some method of taking your focus off what is causing the negative emotions and concentrate or focus your attention on something else that holds it and keeps it from wandering back to depression thought and then emotion. Your emotions are like baby ducks, they follow whatever is in front of them. If you are watching a scary movie, you will be scared because your emotions cannot distinguish fact from fiction. If you are watching your wife undress... Well you get the idea.

Since the body releases certain chemicals which cause the emotional swings, psychiatry attempts to manipulate that chemical balance by introducing medication chemicals. Sometimes it works, sometimes it don't. But no chemical manipulation will work if we cannot take our focus off the depressing thoughts.

Referring back to religion and its importance, if you are a Hindu, you normally would use a mantra repeated over and over to keep your mind from focusing on depressing thoughts. Buddhism is similar, and you recognize the fleeting nature of the world and try to exist in a state that is divorced from the world, along with meditation to remove your consciousness from the world and its depressing nature. Catholicism has its rosary and rituals to take your thought life off your depression. All these religions have their writings by learned men to also keep your focus on wisdom instead of depressing thoughts.

I myself am non denominational Christian. It all comes down to whether Jesus Christ really lived and is still alive. I know myself that he is, but I don't expect someone else to know that until it is revealed to them. That's where Paul's writings come in for the Christian religion. Most don't understand real Christianity... They think it involves the Ten Commandments, which is only the first ten of 613 commands and ordinances of the Mosaic Law. But in Galatians, Paul says we are no longer under the Mosaic Law, which was a covenant with Israel only, nor any law for that matter but under Grace, because of what Jesus did we are fully reconciled with God. Grace vs Law, not many Christians even know this... and Paul goes on to say exactly what I am preaching here...

"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if excellent or praiseworthy, think on these things... Philippians 4:8

I say this because I have practiced all these, but I cannot speak for Islam or atheism. But it is no coincidence these religions teach you to focus on positive thought and away from negative thought. Even atheists believe in " the power of positive thinking". It is very difficult to maintain your focus at first, but will get easier and easier as you do it more.

So, no matter what religion you are, even atheism, I strongly suggest you find a way to take your focus off the "stinkin thinkin" Though your doctor knows better than i , i would only use the meds to get out of the depression state, not take them ad infinitum. But that is just my opinion, not medical advice. When I was an intern at the Psychiatric Research Institute, we were doing experiments on rats and tryptophan, so I have a pretty good idea how chemicals, both happy ones and flight or fight ones can influence emotions.

There is a strange connection between your mind and spirit and your physical body. No one understands it completely I am guessing. So maybe none of this advice will help you. But from my experience, I learned how to train my focus off what was depressing and keep it off. That can be hard to do and I am not always expert on it. It doesn't mean you avoid tough decisions, but I have found tough decisions are easier if my emotions are not influencing my rational decision making.

I don't know if any of this helped, its just my experience. Hang in there.

Swingshiftworker
Posts: 1013
Joined: Mar 2010

You are obviously experiencing a great deal of fear and anxiety regarding your cancer.  I would suggest that you join a local support group -- most hospitals sponsor them -- or consult a counselor or therapist.

It's flip to just say "it's just in your mind" but in your case, I think it is.  That doesn't make the fears you are experiencing any easier to deal with.  It is something real to you and, given what you are saying, may be causing you to do things that could undermine your treatment and recovery.

So, find someone to talk to about this -- other men (such as we here) can be helpful in terms of reaassurance but, if you need more help than that, please for your own well being contact a professional for assistance.

Good luck!

bassoneman's picture
bassoneman
Posts: 58
Joined: Apr 2017

I have pretty much the same fears I am half way through my radiation treatments and have had pain since biopsy. Mind you I never had pain before.. lot of stuff ft goes through your head.. But I keep coming back to something to that I read one time in the bible. "No amount of worring cans change one hair on your head". Then I think back to all the times I worried and most times my worries didn't happen. So now I take my worries write them down and put them in a box.. I let the box take care of my worries.. the box does a great job with it. Besid s I have other things that the grim reaper is knocking on my door with.. 7 heart stents, afib, coradid 80% blocked.. My father and brother got taken at 56 with heart attacks I am lucky I am 63.  If this had happen to us back in the 1960's we all would be in the lanscaping business.. 

LvGuy1
Posts: 54
Joined: Oct 2016

Bassoneman, I can understand what you are saying. There has been no male on our fathers side that has lived over 60, My brother is now 59 and i am 57 and this might also be something that is going thru my mind, but my brother only has 8 months to go before he hits 60 and i keep telling him that we are going to break the bad luck. 

bassoneman's picture
bassoneman
Posts: 58
Joined: Apr 2017

I also look at it another way.. if this was the last day of my life would I worry that it was the last day of my life?  That would certainly waste my last day.. No body knows when there last day is. Imagine worring about it for the next 20 years.. So I live for today and let tommorow take care of itself.. The good news with prostate cancer is if it doesn't get cured and it advances it takes years.. My Doc put up t into perspective for me when I first found out I had this.. he is strait to the pout.. he says you have heart disease and you are wiriied about prostate cancer? My heart can take me in minutes.. prostate will take years.. 

Grinder
Posts: 437
Joined: Mar 2017

My psychiatrist said my narcissism causes me to misread social situations...

I'm pretty sure she's hitting on me.

LvGuy1
Posts: 54
Joined: Oct 2016

lol

Rakendra's picture
Rakendra
Posts: 198
Joined: Apr 2013

What you fear is not real.  What you think is not real.  Fear itself is not real.  What is real is that you are the Son of God and salvation is your birthright.  But salvation cannot come from the outside, it can only be discovered from your inside, where it is your birthright.  You see yourself as separate from the other, but the reality is that you are One with the other.  One of my favorite sayings is from the South Pacific Islands:  You are another Me and I am another You.

And now this from the Course:

       No one who calls on Him can call in vin.  Whatever troubles you, be certain that He has the answer, and will gladly give it to you if you simply turn to Him and ask it of Him.  He will not withold answers that you need for all problems and anything that seems to trouble you.   He knows the way to solve all problems and resolve all doubts.  His certainty is yours.You need but ask it of Him and it will be given you.

Nothing real can be threatened, 

Nothing unreal exists.

Herein lies the peace of God.

       Love, Swami Rakendra

Clevelandguy
Posts: 415
Joined: Jun 2015

Hi,

I think all PCa survivors have the fear of the cancer coming back, but at least in my case that normal.  I get anxious when I go to the urologist to get my PSA results.  Good responses from several people above.  Joining a PCa group will help.

Dave 3+4

hopeful and opt...
Posts: 2218
Joined: Apr 2009

I am sorry for what you are going through. I strongly suggest that you visit with your psychiatrist , I guess that will be next week, especially since you "quit taking most of your medications". 

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