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monica302009
Posts: 3
Joined: Jul 2015

Hello everyone.... I am 30 years old. Last year my dad age 53 was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer with bone mets. By the time we found it the cancer was all over bones from knees up. He needed a cath and a Nephro tube in right kidney due to prostate tumor being so big... his psa got up to 198..... did hormone shots in stomach. Chemo to get psa down. But the cancer took over and he died in august 2014. My dad raised me. Just me and him. I put my life in hold to take care of him. Moved in with him to keep him home. He went from doing everything to doing nothing in 6 months..... I feel lost.... I know a lot about this since I lived every appt every hosp stay every test every treatment he had. I can't believe he died from this at so young..... I would love to chat with people about their progress. Maybe be of use again.... 

hopeful and opt...
Posts: 2224
Joined: Apr 2009

Dear Monica, 

I am very sorry for your loss.

My Mother also passed away last year. She was in hospice. this group contacted us, and offered a support group.

There are also local berevement support groups, or opportunities for counseling that may be available in your area. You might contact your local newspaper for referrals.

Additionally a local cleryman, may be a source of information, or someone to talk with.

.......................

You may wish to attend religious services, but make sure the cleryman is upbeat.

It would be great if you can find an activity that you are passionate about.

You may wish to give back by helping others  with this or other problems, or even volunteer at a hospital, etc. You will receive more back than you can imagine.

Best,

PS. There is a family correlation between prostate cancer and breast cancer, so get those mamagrams , and live heart healthy; diet and exercise......heart healthy is prostate and breast cancer healthy. If you have any cousins, the right thing to do is to notify them so they can be tested...the same for uncles and aunts.

 

Max Former Hodgkins Stage 3's picture
Max Former Hodg...
Posts: 3295
Joined: May 2012

Monica,

You are a hero and remarkable woman.  An older friend had end-stage prostate cancer two years ago, but no family in this state. Although I am a busy, married man, I ended up taking care of him and his affairs until he passed. This September will be two years.  It was a horrible thing to watch.  At one point his PSA was 1,000, so the disease was just raging.  A year after his funeral, I was diagnosed with my own little case of the disease, but am fine now.   And, my cousin in Orlando had a brother-in-law die of the disease a few years ago in his late 40s.

Prostate cancer very seldom kills men so young, and in fact seldom even occures in men under fifty.  The average age of diagnosis in the US is 61 years of age.

I hope you follow Hopeful and Optimistic's excellent suggestions,

Max

Old-timer's picture
Old-timer
Posts: 196
Joined: Apr 2011

 Monica,

 Your story is very touching. You are the age of my grandchildren.

 I am a prostate cancer survivor. I was diagnosed with that problem 24 years ago at the age of 65. I have undergone a variety of treatments. To make a long story short. My PSA is undetectable; it has been at that level seven years. Because of the cancer, I experienced a lot of anxiety, but no significant pain or discomfort.

 I admit that I have been lucky, and it may sound like I am bragging. Perhaps I am; but in all sincerity, I wish to stress that prostate cancer has only been a blemish on my life. I honestly feel that my life has been enhanced because of the cancer. Life is good; I continue to face the world with a smile.

 I am unsure about how this story might be useful to you, Monica. The loss of your father is obviously hard to accept. It is tragic. It is OK to grieve. As you do that, look forward to better days ahead. Remember, you will be a better person because of what your father did for you.

 Best wishes to you.

 Old-timer (Jerry)

justmry53's picture
justmry53
Posts: 2
Joined: Jul 2015

Monica, my heart breaks for you. I'm older than you and my heart still hurts from losing my mom and a brother.  

VascodaGama's picture
VascodaGama
Posts: 3016
Joined: Nov 2010

Monica,

I am here. Please chat to me.

We surely appreciate your presence in our forum. I am sory for the occurences you have endured.

VG

grt1098867
Posts: 4
Joined: May 2015

Monica,

 

I am so sorry for your loss.  I lost my father when I was 40 and my brother when I was 62 to cancer.  It is hard to lose a parent at any age. Last month at age 66, I was diagnosed with t-4 aggressive PC (Gleason scores five 9s).  I will start radiation in September and am already on hormone therapy.   I am most concerned about my son, age 32.  He has not taken the news well and I'm trying to comfort him.  We are very close.    I try to be calm and unemotional with him and explain that I'm doing everything I can and God will determine what happens.

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