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Is my brother dying

Posts: 14
Joined: Dec 2013

Dear Friends,

Its been a long time since I chatted to anyone because I have been so caught up trying to make my brother comfortable through his chemo sessions. The last time I wrote to let the cyber family know that god came through for us and we eventually got medical insurrance to approve treatment. Its been 4 months since. My brother has been doing so well with ttreatment to the extent where the ascites dried up totally and he was starting to enjoy good days every now ansd then. I started to belive that his high dose of xeloda (4000mg) per day was actually doing a great job until 2 weeks ago. He waS ON HIS 4TRH ROUND OF CHEMO and developed frequent loose bowel movement. We flew from Johannnesburg to Durban to enjoy a birthday with his baby which he so much wanted to do even though he was feeling so weak. When we arrived he developed a high temperature and had been admitted to hospital for dehydration. Its been a week now that he is in critical care and is suffering pneumonia, low platelet counts, low white blood count, supressed bone marrow, renal failure and today it is shortness of breath. I love him so much but i cannot bear to see him suffer anylonger. Can anybody tell me what to expect right now pleasssssseeeee.



Trubrit's picture
Posts: 5512
Joined: Jan 2013

Unfotunately I don't think anyone can tell you if your dear brother is going to die or rally and get healthy again. 

It really sounds as though he is in a bad way, but it also sound as though he is in a good place, being taken care of by professionals. 

Sometimes things look dire, and then, with good nedical care, the patient pulls though, and all is well. 

I pray that your brother is one of those patients. 

I know it is very, very hard for you right now. Please try and take some deep breaths, calm yourself as much as possibly and be positive and upbeat when you are with your brother. A smile will do him the world of good, espeically as there is nothing, medically that you can do. 

You are in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us updated on how he, and you are doing. 

Helen321's picture
Posts: 1428
Joined: May 2012

I don't think anyone has that answer. What I've learned from this whole experience is that you have to roll with the ups and downs, work through the anxious moments and keep fighting for the good moments. Hang in there!

lp1964's picture
Posts: 1240
Joined: Jun 2013

Let's hope that he is just suffering from the side effects of the chemo. Dehydration can be very dangerous too. I wish all of you the best of luck.


Lovekitties's picture
Posts: 3372
Joined: Jan 2010

So very sorry to hear of your brother's condition.

I thnk your question regarding his prognosis is best posed to his doctors.  They can give you the best information.

I don't know what the legal processes are there in Africa, but here in the USA we have what is called a living will or an advanced directive.  These documents are used by the patient to specify their wishes regarding medical care in such circumstances.  We also have what is called a Medical Power of Attorny where the patient designates another to make medical decisions if the patient is unable to do so.

If you and your brother have discussed his wishes, you will need to let the doctors know what they are.

I send my prayers to you and your brother.

Marie who loves kitties



Posts: 14
Joined: Dec 2013

Dear cyber family,

My beautiful brother has given up his fight against this dreaded disease. He started his royal journey with an angelic host at 5.40 this morning.

Thank you everyone who has sent beautiful thought and warm messages. It has helped me through the last few hours of his life here on earth.

I wonder if life will ever be the same again but I strongly believe that he would want for me and my babies to do everything believing that he is always with us.

Thank you again

Trubrit's picture
Posts: 5512
Joined: Jan 2013

How my heart breaks for you. 

I felt the desperation in your first message, and I am so sorry that you had to suffer those last hours. It sounds as though your brother was being well tended, and I hope he was comoforted as he passed from this life. 

Your post today sounds as though you are being comforted in your faith. I pray that you will continue to feel comfort as the days pass. 

I will continue to pray and keep you in my thoughts. 


Posts: 1019
Joined: Aug 2013

This is such an awful disease. It takes a lot of hostages as time passes. I hope you will find peace that he is no longer in any pain, as hard as it is. Don't forget, he will always be alive in your thoughts and in your heart. 


LivinginNH's picture
Posts: 1458
Joined: Apr 2010

Dear Katz,

My sincere condolences on the loss of your dear brother.  May he rest in eternal peace.


wolfen's picture
Posts: 1330
Joined: Apr 2009

So sorry to hear that your brother has lost his fight with this relentless disease. My condolences to you and your family.


thxmiker's picture
Posts: 1282
Joined: Oct 2010

We are sorry for your loss.  We are sending our thoughts and prayers to your family in this time of greif.  


Best Always,  mike

Posts: 1282
Joined: Apr 2012

My sincere condolences. Your brother is now pain-free in a better place.

fatbob2010's picture
Posts: 467
Joined: May 2012

Too often it seems that this disease strikes at the best of us and there is not a real basis for its action.  Comfort of peace to you and your brother as well as his family.  Art

Posts: 2215
Joined: Oct 2011

I am sorry for your loss. I could tell how much you loved him but didn't want him to suffer. I hope your faith will help you through this diffacult time.

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3045
Joined: May 2009

My condolences. So sorry. 

Posts: 306
Joined: Jan 2010

Be sure he was greeted by many who walked his path to the light. We on this side must grieve and rebuild our lives which will include fond memories of our loved ones. Good luck.

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