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Apr 24, 2014 - 5:26 pm
Well I don't know about anyone else..but I love to smile..I also love making someone who's having a hard day smile..so here's my shot at it today for anyone feeling blue
How many slams in an old screen door? Depends how loud you shut it. How many slices in a bread? Depends how thin you cut it. How much good inside a day? Depends how well you live em. How much love from a friend? Depends how much you give em. |
Joined: Aug 2013
What do you get from a
What do you get from a pampered cow?
spoiled milk
<<HUGS>>
Lin
Joined: May 2012
Your cracking me up lin...i
Your cracking me up lin...i dont know why thats so funny but i laughed so hard my cheeks hurt.
Sign the memo line on your checks, "For Smuggling Diamonds"
Get on the pa system at work and page yourself
Joined: Aug 2013
Hehehe!
Little kids tell the best jokes! I was told that joke by a little one.
Thanks for starting this thread.
Have a great day!
LIN
Joined: Mar 2012
This was my Grandmother's....so
What is clear on the outside and gray on the inside?
An elephant in a baggie.
I know it is goofy, but when we were kids we thought it was hilarious.
Joined: Aug 2013
LOL
Too cute!!!
Little kids always laugh at goofy stuff. Can you imagine an elephant in a baggie? It is funny.
Do you remember this one:
What's black and white and read all over?
a newspaper, a cow with a rash
Kids today won't know what newspapers are. Everyone reads the news on the computer or TV.
Lin
Joined: Mar 2012
Funny thing
It still makes me laugh many many many years later.
Laughter is what we all need, alot and often.
Yours is hilarious.
And yes - I am quite sick of cell phones, laptops, PC's, TV.........
I know these things are important and help alot but sometimes I miss a simpler time.
Joined: Apr 2009
Maybe because I'm a kid
Maybe because I'm a kid myself, but....I actually visualized the elephant getting squished into a ziplock bag...it was enough to make me miserably sorry but keep on laughing...
Joined: May 2014
I imagined...
a miniature elephant in a regular baggie...
Joined: Apr 2012
Smile
Don't nock the bad days, without them we wouldn't recognize the good days!!!
Joined: Feb 2014
Here is one.....
Why does everyone love Mr. Mushroom?
because he's a fungi (fun guy)
Joined: Aug 2013
HEHEHE!!!
Thanks guys! I had quite a few chuckles today. Laughter is the best medicine.
Lin
Joined: May 2012
lol I have to share this one!
lol I have to share this one!
Joined: Oct 2011
Since I am more of a visual person,
with a highly sophisticated sense of humor,
I'll just leave this here and then see myself out.
Joined: Aug 2012
Oh!! Bad bad kitty! You got
Oh!! Bad bad kitty! You got something against dogs AA?
Here's my funny....not a joke, but from my 2 1/2 yr old...cracked us up anyhow. Walked up to daddy's chair and saw his bag of jolly ranchers and said "oooohhhhhh! Choking hazards!" He's such a goof.
Joined: May 2012
You Guys Rock
I'm cracking up! You guys are great! Thank you so much for the laughs. I love the elephant one. Kids do laugh at corny stuff...but so do I
Here's a feel good thing for everyone today.
Im thankful for my struggle because without it, I wouldn't have stumbled across my strength.
We are amazing,
hugs
carrie
Joined: May 2012
Jen
Kids are the best medicine! You have a smart kiddo!
LOL;I have a funny one from my daughter.
She was about 5 or 6 at the time, she kept saying GRASSY-*** momma. I'm like, where did you hear that honey? Freaking out; wondering where my baby heard a cuss word..and what the heck is a grassy *** LOL.... She informed me it was Dora the Explorer. Gracias...OH! Thanks Dora...we worked on pronunciation for awhile after that.
Joined: Jan 2013
Giggling
That gave me a good giggle.
Kids are the best.
Joined: May 2012
Love This
Joined: Jan 2013
That is too funny
I love this one.
Joined: Oct 2011
Love it!
May I mention my intense fear of Robert Downey Jrs?
Oh, and Tom Hiddlestons, too. Absolutely petrified of those.
Joined: May 2012
hahahaha
hahahaha
Joined: Aug 2013
Thank you!
I had a tough day today (not feeling well) and all of you made me laugh. Thanks Carrie for starting this thread. Thanks everyone for sharing! You guys are all wonderful!
Lin
Joined: Feb 2009
Restaurant
My previous husband didn't want to go out to dinner with me after I'd made arrangements for a babysitter, so when he told me no, I went to a restaurant and when ordering told the waitress that I'd been going to therapy for trying to dine in restaurants by myself because of being so fearful of being in public by myself. She gave me the best service I'd ever had. Told her at the end that it was just a way for me to get out and pamper myself and she laughed. We are divorced now and my husband now will never let me go by myself. Had a couple glasses of wine and a wonderful dinner without my ex.
Kim
Joined: May 2012
lol Jokes on him!
lol Jokes on him!
Joined: May 2012
I used to lover banana Laffy
I used to lover banana Laffy Taffy candy and for over 20 years I didn't realize there were jokes on the wrappers! "Laffy" Taffy. Come on Helen! lol
Anyway my favorite that I remember. . . . What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday, the others are weekdays. . . Buh dum dum, I'll be here all night, eat the chicken!
Joined: Jan 2013
Yeah, I liked that one
I tried it out on my husband, he liked it too. My boys will like it, 'cause they have the same lame sense of humour as their parents.
Yum! I liked banana tasting stuff. Banana Laffy Taffy sounds yummy.
Joined: May 2012
Doctors Said What
Real Notes that doctors have put in their reports;
Patient has been depressed since she started seeing me in 1993
Skin; somewhat pale but present
The patient refused an autopsy
Patient has no history of suicides
Funny Aging
Your told to slow down..not by the police but your doctor
Youre smiling all the time because you can't hear anything anyone is saying
You're aware that other peoples grandchildren are not as cute as yours
Your proud of your lawn mower
Joined: May 2012
hahaha...it seriously took me
hahaha...it seriously took me a couple minutes to get that! Wow, this mama is tired today..but laughing LOL
Joined: Apr 2009
Really? That's odd...I've
Really? That's odd...I've never noticed them either...I always collect up the strawberry ones...those are my favorite ones. But I never even understood why it is called "Laffy" taffy..ugh...whatta a shame...
Joined: Feb 2014
Here's one my little nephew loves....
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 (ate) 9
Joined: Jan 2013
Its the simple ones
that get me giggling.
I like this.
Joined: May 2014
From a friend's son
What did 0 (zero) say to 8?
I like your belt.
Joined: Jan 2013
Chemo brain
I had to read it twice, and then I was laughing. Good one, Cammie!
Joined: May 2014
No excuse for me...
It took me a few minutes to get it when I first heard it...without chemo brain.
Joined: May 2012
I can't sleep so I came on to
I can't sleep so I came on to read all the jokes. Good thread. So funny.
Joined: May 2012
funny one liners
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
A bank is a place tht will lend you money, if you can prove you don't need it.
Whenever I fill out an application that says, "In emergency, notify..." I put DOCTOR, what is my mother going to do?
Joined: Feb 2014
I love puns
Joined: May 2012
Ha Ha
An Arkansas Delivery
In the backwoods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart's wife went into labor in the middle of the night. The doctor was called in to assist in the delivery.
To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.
"Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down. I think there's yet another wee one to come." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another baby.
"Now don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, young man. It seems there's yet another!" cried the doctor.
The new father scratched his head in bewilderment and asked the doctor. "Do ya think it's the light that's attractin' them?"
No offense to Arkansas, it's my home state...just thought it was funny
Joined: Oct 2011
This is a great post.
This is a great post. Laughter is important, especially for those dealing with cancer. I believe it can be therapuetic.