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Now what....

Posts: 1
Joined: Aug 2013

My 26 year old husband has a 6cm mass on his lower right kidney. We have three little boys. we were told its 90percent sure cancerous. He had a kidney stone last week and that's how the mass was found, he's got a contrast scan scheduled for Wednesday and then a meeting with the urologist to see about surgery options. (Partial or full)  he doctor isn't really looking to see if its spread, my husband applied for a medical card and so we will ask for an oncologist referral once he gets it (it could take 2-3 months though) they want to do surgery within a week or two. I'm trying my best to be there for him completely, I just hope Im saying the right things. I'm doing all the research I can. I'm scared for him but I wouldn't dare let it show. He doesn't really want to know much, he's thrown himself into the computer because he's so scared. He says Seeing me or one of our boys just reminds him of the cancer. I love him very much and just wanna get through this, I want life to feel "normal" he's not been able to work and ultimately lost his job due to the stones and the diagnosis. I was told however if I go to work it could potentially knock him out of hiss medical card, were already behind on bills and our hotwater tank busted this week. So we have no working water. Im bummed beyond words but I have to stay positive to get him through this and keep his head above water. 

icemantoo's picture
Posts: 3281
Joined: Jan 2010



You could not have picked a more appropriate name. Fortunately you were detected before the mass got any larger. We have had a few younger than 26 in this board, but most of us are between 50 and 70.

Mine was 11 years ago at age 59 and was 4,2 cm. Faye across the street doesn't remember the rascals size. She was 64 than and is 82 now. At 6 cm get it out ASAP.

Its size is still small enough to be Stage I (full recovery from the surgery alone) if the pathology comes back good.


Being scared after you are told you have Kidney Cancer is normal. I and most of the members of this club were scared shitless when we were diagnosed and told we needed majoe surgery right out of the gate.


At 6cm I see a full recovery in the cards and your ability to fight back and even join our attempts at humor not to far down the road.




I am alive
Posts: 316
Joined: Jul 2012

Love your name!

  I had an 11 cm tumor removed 9 years ago this fall. There are lots of us "old timers" here so as you will see, survival is the name of the game. You and your husband are going through the scariest time right now - and it sure doesn't help that he lost his job and the hot water heater broke! But life goes on. Take one day at a time. First get that bugger out of his body. Recuperation can take a month to six weeks. Make him get up off the couch and bed and walk a little every day. You'll be surprised at how quickly the body heals. He may not be able to drive for a month or so,  which will probably make him go a little crazy!

Do you have family nearby who can help with meals and errands? With three little ones you are gonna have your hands full. Churches or a network of friends and neighbors can get a dinner delivery system going where folks take turns dropping off casseroles, spaghetti and such each night for a couple of weeks. That would be a big help to your family the first few weeks after surgery. I'd ask someone you know who is a real go-getter to organize it for you

It must feel like the whole world is crashing in on you now, but have faith. Dawn follows the night. Believe it. You can only take care of today. That's enough. Love one another and be there for each other, and the rest will take care of itself. 

Keep us posted on what's going on. And ask us anything! You can do this.

mrs_blkjak's picture
Posts: 103
Joined: Apr 2013

I'm going to reply in "chunks" - 

As far as the medical card goes, I recommend two phone calls to sort all of that out. First, call your county's economic support division (might not be called that, but should be through your health and human services department). Explain the situation and see if they can help you push medical coverage through more quickly or if they can back date it to now so that everything will be covered. Also, ask them about food share (food stamps) which you might also be eligible for given your circumstances. Next, call the oncologists office where you intend to go and ask to talk to their social worker. If the county won't push the medical card through, they may be able to advocate on your behalf. I'm not guaranteeing that this will work, but its worth a shot. 


Next - see if there are any services that provide financial help in your area. Go through the social services section in your phone book. In our area there is an agency that provides for people no more than once every 6 months. If you can find one, they may be able to help you with the cost of your water heater. (I'm a social worker, if you can't tell Wink


Also, the county economic support worker should be able to tell you if you working would impact medical assistance. There is a good chance that it won't, but definitely ask. Sometimes once you qualify you get to keep it unitl the year is up (for renewal0 but I know the rules vary from state to state, so check on that.


Then - I do think he should have a thorough scan to make sure there are no other tumors in his body. Hopefully, though, this is all contained in the kidney. If it is, then having the kidney removed may be all he needs. i will hope for that for you and your family. An oncologist should be able to get this taken care of for him. 


We found out my husband has kidney cancer when he went in for a ct scan for what we thought was a kidney stone. He has had them before. We are 41, so a bit older than you and your husband, but still young enough that we really weren't prepared for this. I understand your fears and his. We are less than five months into this, and its been a roller coaster for sure (not the fun kind either - more like the kind that really sucks and just makes you dizzy and throwing up!). I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that this works out well!

Texas_wedge's picture
Posts: 2799
Joined: Nov 2011

What a magnificent, practical posting!!!

Being in the UK I have no help to offer and it's not nice seeing a family having such a tough time and not being able to do anything to help.  I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling great relief and pride when the troops here rally round with support and help like that! 

It must have been a much harder world even twenty years ago, before the advances that brought us forums like this with all their unconditional friendship and valuable information.

We'll all be pulling for you and do keep us posted and keep coming back for all the help we can give you.

MDCinSC's picture
Posts: 574
Joined: Feb 2013

I can see that you have already gotten a lot of valuable information here! I'm not surprised. There are some damned fine  people on this board, and they are genuinely interested in serving those of us with a history of this awful disease.

MsBLKJK has already covered a ton of important items for you!  Listen to her.

Like Icemantoo, I see a good potential for full recovery out of this, just maintain an aggressive, positive attitude. Get you husband to visit here and talk to the people here. He will find it is not the completely hopeless situation that he (and many of us at first) thinks it would be.

Texqas Wedge uses a quote from a friend of his that I especially love, and I think you can latch on to it too.  "Accept the changes, and keep moving forward."

With a positive attitude as your display name exhibits, and aggressively working through the treatments, always asking good questions of your care providers, you two will do exactly what your name suggests!

Be strong, don't be strangers!


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