Is There Any More Room for “Some” Good News?

Sundanceh
Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
edited July 2013 in Colorectal Cancer #1

Well, I got through the MRI Wednesday…just barely…but I made it through…

 

This time it was for 30 minutes with no contrast required.  I explained everything to them about the problems I might have and we got started. 

 

They had the fan turned all the way up, but it still wouldn’t reach my face, just sort of blew up to my chest.  They were just going to scan the lumbar channel of my spine this time. 

 

What was interesting was how ‘hot’ it gets for you there inside the tube when they have to scan the spine.  Within minutes, my whole back was hot and I started getting uncomfortable quickly. 

 

We made it 2 cycles and she asked me how I was doing….and I asked her to pull me out, so I could get some air on my face and wipe the sweat off and then we could go again.

 

She was a very nice tech and did this for me…

 

She went the extra mile though…she could see how bad it was and she brought me two cool wash cloths and put one under my neck and the other one on my forehead and slid me back in for another cycle. 

 

When that cycle was over, I asked her to keep pulling me out each cycle, so I could cool out…..we ended up doing about 5-cycles.  On the very last cycle, she even went and got me ice cubes for the cloths to keep me cooled down.

 

When we exited that cycle, I had melted the ice cubes and was drenched with sweat from head to toe….but we did get through it. 

 

That’s about the best I’ll be able to do fully inserted like that….I’ve done brain scans when you’re head is inside and your body is out.

 

What she told me was that when doing the spine, it really gets hot.  I’m assuming from all the magnets and the friction that it creates or something like that…makes it generate a lot of heat pretty fast.  

 

Last night, as I went to bed, I sincerely prayed that my spine did not have cancer in it….but was willing to accept the outcome if it weren’t in my favor. 

 

I got my MRI report back…

 

From what I can ascertain, there are problems that need addressing; I’m not downplaying any of that, because there is work to do…..BUT……

 

It looks like I “Do Not” have metastatic cancer in the lumbar channel of my spine!!!

 

I’ve got huge pain that has been building in intensity the past seven-months…but, no indications of cancerous activity.  Whew!

 

I immediately thanked the Lord for his grace with true sincerity in sparing me this part of the journey:)

 

What I do have are a lot of degenerative changes (from radiation) that have been superimposed onto a congenital stenotic spinal canal.

 

 There is desiccation at L2, L3, L4, L5, and through S1.  There are diffuse disc bulges from L2-L5  and some narrowing of the Thecal Sac along with other fancy buzzwords. 

 

Bottom line is radiation damage from 2004 that has gotten progressively worse – combined with congenital spinal stenosis.    

 

That was interesting, because that is what got my dad last year that ended up putting him in and out of nursing homes and ICU and ER’s …only he was 82….and I’m just about to turn 52 in a couple of weeks.

 

Radiation apparently played its part in speeding up the clock and at some point later in life; I probably would have had to deal with it.  I’ve quipped about it being the gift that keeps on giving…and it truly does. 

 

I remember them telling me I would suffer should I happen to survive the cancer.  This is one of the problems that we encounter when we live longer than we were supposed to.  Eventually, everything that was sowed – gets reaped. 

 

I did some investigating on this condition….give me about 30-minutes of research time and I’ll have an answer for you:)

 

But, while it is risky, it appears that surgical intervention would be the only thing that could alleviate the pain enough…..

 

I’ll have to see what the doctors say about all of this….I meet with 3 of them next week to go over things now that the tests are done.

 

No cancer in the spine was huge though….had there been cancer…all bets were off…and they were just going to go the chemo route…no surgical intervention or anything like that would have been offered. 

 

So, hopefully, this puts me back into contention to fight lung and liver….waiting to hear what they want to do on lung still.

 

Currently, I am inoperable in the liver due to the hepatic dome location…but the thoughts of TACE were introduced by the surgical liver onc…we talk to him again next week to go over MRI and the liver. 

 

Anyway, I’m always trying to find the good in any situation…but, who ever thought bad news could feel like such a relief?    It’s amazing how we were able to see through all the clouds and find a blessing amidst the rubble. 

 

I know many of you are very concerned about me (including myself) and so I wanted to give you some “good news” to help alleviate your own worry.  We’ve still got a long way to go, but this was as promising as it has been the past few weeks and I wanted to share it with you.   

 

The spine is the highway to the brain….and so this is a rest stop that I was glad to just drive right on by:)

 

Thank you each and everyone for all of your expressions via the forum or PMs…

 

I could sense and see the collective shrugging of shoulders around the room as folks were thinking to themselves…”this time he’s done for sure.”

 

I saw the lights go out in my wife’s eyes too…and I felt it in some of your words too…I could literally feel the energy drain out of you…I could hear the sound of acceptance and resignation in your voices.  

 

After all, I’m still the Seer of Seers – Prognosticator of Prognosticators, LOL!

 

It’s ok…it’s a normal human reaction for the people that we care about…letdowns always change the tone with which we deliver our expressions…

 

To be perfectly honest with you, I had lost hope too…real hope anyway…

 

So, this news was an unexpected relief to me and my wife…and I hope for you that are watching as well!  My wife’s attitude immediately changed when I told her the news….”Oh, we can beat this now”…”don’t give up, you can still do it.”

 

:)

 

It was like watching a sail go taut after turning into the wind when it catches the ocean breeze…

 

She had looked pretty forlorn since I told her the news.  And you know, there is something about the spine that makes you very queasy and unsteady…because, even for the unversed, you can “know” something without really knowing….”know” what I mean?

 

You don’t have to be a cancer expert to understand some realities…

 

And even for those of us who know enough to really know…the knowing carries with it a certain fear of future events to come that seems unshakeable.  And that weighs heavy as you try and superimpose an image for those you want to protect - that differs somewhat from you’re truly feeling. 

 

Anyway, we’re still in contention (plans still being formulated next week)…who knows, I might surprise you yet again…and you’ll end up stuck with me for a little while longer:)

 

How would that be?

 

LOL!

 

-Craig

«13

Comments

  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    Wonderful news!

    That gust of wind you feel about you is the collective sigh of relief from all here that there doesn't appear to be any cancer in the spine!

    I am so glad that you have one less thing to worry about,and yes, you can now go forward and beat the rest of it...again.

    Hugs and love,

    Marie who loves kitties

  • lp1964
    lp1964 Member Posts: 1,239 Member
    Dear Craig,

    The human mind plays funny games with itself. (Wooddy Allen calls it intellectual masturbation). In your case you expected the worst, you got less than the worst and you take it. And you should. Everything in our world is relative to something. We are very happy for you. You still have a high mountain to climb, but hopefully not as high as we all thought.

    If I may give you a recommendation for your pain in your back, since I constantly have that problem too. Ice reduces the inflammation, the swelling, the pressure on the nerve endings and so the pain. I keep a bottle of cheap vodka in the freazer and when I feel the pain coming on I put it along side the spine and lean against my arm chair or the backboard of my bed for 45 minutes. The cold has to penetrate deep so it needs time. If you want try it. It works great for me.

    Otherwise keep on with the follow ups and let us know how it goes.

    Wish you and your wife wonderful days,

    Laz

     

  • LindaK.
    LindaK. Member Posts: 506 Member
    Sail On Brother

    Oh my, what a wonderful way to end a grueling work week!! I love hearing good news like this.  This will be news for all of us to celebrate with you this weekend.  I'm going home tonight with champagne to toast my husband getting his pump off for hopefully the last time.  We'll clink to your good news too.  Sorry you had such a hard time in the tube.  It's over and you made it!

    Oh happy day!!

    Linda

  • LindaK.
    LindaK. Member Posts: 506 Member
    lp1964 said:

    Dear Craig,

    The human mind plays funny games with itself. (Wooddy Allen calls it intellectual masturbation). In your case you expected the worst, you got less than the worst and you take it. And you should. Everything in our world is relative to something. We are very happy for you. You still have a high mountain to climb, but hopefully not as high as we all thought.

    If I may give you a recommendation for your pain in your back, since I constantly have that problem too. Ice reduces the inflammation, the swelling, the pressure on the nerve endings and so the pain. I keep a bottle of cheap vodka in the freazer and when I feel the pain coming on I put it along side the spine and lean against my arm chair or the backboard of my bed for 45 minutes. The cold has to penetrate deep so it needs time. If you want try it. It works great for me.

    Otherwise keep on with the follow ups and let us know how it goes.

    Wish you and your wife wonderful days,

    Laz

     

    Vodka

    You could always resort to drinking the vodka!  ha ha

  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    yay!
    Great news Craig and so happy to hear the relief in your voice...words! For what its worth I didn't lose hope. I see you fighting thru this once again.

    Hey I have a bday coming up in a couple of weeks too.

    Enjoy your weekend!
  • wawaju04976
    wawaju04976 Member Posts: 316
    Terrific news!

    Terrific news!

  • ketziah35
    ketziah35 Member Posts: 1,145
    PTL

    Praise The Lord! I have been lurking but wanted to sign on to tell you how happy i am for you.

  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624
    Well about time

    For some good news.  I have a hard time getting on this site so sorry I haven't been around much.

    I'm so thankful it isn't in the spine!  The rest of the stuff you'll take care of, one at a time, until that mountain has been turned into a mole hill.

    I can stop researching the spine stuff now.  My sister has had them in her spine for over a year now and they've been shrinking thank goodness.  They used hormones for her for the first 4 months (hers is me static from breast cancer). She's now on chemo and doing well.  So see everything doesn't mean it's going to be worst case scenerio.  I was looking it up for you so glad I can stop now.

    love and hugs to you my dear friend, a break was needed for you and you got one, now onto the rest.

     

    Winter Marie

  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028
    DANCING!!!!!

    And, WOW!

     

    "It was like watching a sail go taut after turning into the wind when it catches the ocean breeze…"

     

    Speaks volumns for all of us caregivers, thank you my gentleman cowboy!!!

     

    BIG hugs, to you BOTH.....Kathi

  • Chelsea71
    Chelsea71 Member Posts: 1,169
    Wonderful news. So happy.
    Wonderful news. So happy.
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    *doing cartwheels*

    Oh, you've had me scared. Really, truly scared for you. SO glad to hear this bit of good news!

    You are such a wonderful person, and I adore you (and Kim!), and I'm so glad to have to contend with you a bit longer!

     

    *hugs*

    Gail

  • lp1964
    lp1964 Member Posts: 1,239 Member
    LindaK. said:

    Vodka

    You could always resort to drinking the vodka!  ha ha

    Ok, Gin...

    ...whatever lol.  I don't drink at all, but alcohol won't frieze and the bottle lies so perfectly alongside the spine. ;)

    Laz

  • Deena11
    Deena11 Member Posts: 199
    So nice

    So nice to hear good news.  I'm so happy for you!!!

    Deena

  • Chelsea71
    Chelsea71 Member Posts: 1,169
    Craig, just curious. Do you
    Craig, just curious. Do you feel better physically now that you know the spine is okay? Do you feel like maybe you can handle Disney?
  • wolfen
    wolfen Member Posts: 1,324
    Chelsea71 said:

    Craig, just curious. Do you
    Craig, just curious. Do you feel better physically now that you know the spine is okay? Do you feel like maybe you can handle Disney?

    What A Relief, Craig!

    Just so relieved for you regarding spinal mets. I can see Hope once again peeking around the corner. We always make room for "good news" around here.

    Luv Ya,

    Wolfen

  • MaryCarol5
    MaryCarol5 Member Posts: 102
    Yay!!!  That is great news!

    Yay!!!  That is great news! :) Prayers for more-

    MC

  • danker
    danker Member Posts: 1,276
    Craig

    I hope the disk bulges in the lumbar vertibrae don't cause any pain in your legs.  Good Luck young man!!!

  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    Chelsea71 said:

    Craig, just curious. Do you
    Craig, just curious. Do you feel better physically now that you know the spine is okay? Do you feel like maybe you can handle Disney?

    You need to try to get to
    You need to try to get to Disney with LMS! Seriously even if you need a scooter to get around and put off paying some med bills. There is nothing like seeing Disney through a child's eyes. I guarantee you wont regret it!
  • smokeyjoe
    smokeyjoe Member Posts: 1,425
    danker said:

    Craig

    I hope the disk bulges in the lumbar vertibrae don't cause any pain in your legs.  Good Luck young man!!!

     !!!!

    Cool !!!!

  • LivinginNH
    LivinginNH Member Posts: 1,456
     
    Thank goodness it's not in

     

    Thank goodness it's not in the spine, that was a real scare.  I just hope that the doctors can do something about the back pain so you can get around a little better.  I also hope that you can reduce your workload so that you don't have to put with the pain, as well as the bad co-workers.  :(

    Take care, love,

    Cyn