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Still Here

Doc_Hawk's picture
Posts: 685
Joined: Jan 2012

Sorry I've been gone so long,  it's been a rough stretch of road.  I had two very nasty reactions to Oxy when they tried it on me again.  The first time, I fell over during treatment and cut my eyebrow.  The second, my temp hit 103 and my oxygen level fell to 76%.  My onc said if we were to try it just one more time the reaction could be bad enough to kill me.  End of oxy.

Diarrhea has been another bad issue,  but my last two treatments they gave me a shot to stop it and it's working good.  I've had some bowel discomfort, but it's easily knocked down with lomotil.  

I've lost a huge amount of weight, down from 175 to 135 in a couple of months.  Out of concern, my onc asked me if I was considering stopping treatment and dying in about 3 months.  I told him no, I've got too much work left to finish.  With treatment at my current weight and energy levels he only gives me about 6 months.

It hasn't all been bad, an old buddy of mine came out to visit from North Carolina this weekend, last time we saw each other was in England in 1979.  We had a few adventures that wiped me out but it was a great time.  Over the weekend, officers from my VFW Post came to omy house and formally initiated me into the VFW.  It was really quite an honor.

Well friends, I've been sitting up to write this and need to lay back down now.


God Bless


annalexandria's picture
Posts: 2573
Joined: Oct 2011

It sounds like you have been having an incredibly tough time.  I'm really sorry.  I truly hate it when doctors give us expiration dates.  I just don't believe in them.  I've seen too many people come back from very dire straits, in complete contradiction of their doc's estimates.  You're a tough guy...I think you've got more strength in you than your doctor realizes.  That's exciting to hear about being initiated into the VFW! Where did you serve, what branch?  Hugs and again, happy you're back. AA

Doc_Hawk's picture
Posts: 685
Joined: Jan 2012

They've been giving me shots in the butt cheek to help with the diarrhea so Tuesday I asked the nurse if she saw a date stamped there.  She didn't and asked why, so I told her I was checking for my expiration date.  Since it ain't there, I ain't expiring.

I was in the Air Force from 1978 - 1985, served in England and upstate New York.

Dyanclark's picture
Posts: 296
Joined: Apr 2012

Well we were all waiting to hear from you.   Not such good news, I feel sick knowing what you are going thru.    I can tell you really love life and I will be thinking of you everyday.

Lots of Hugs George & DianeSurprisedKiss

Posts: 1428
Joined: Feb 2011

Hate to hear your having such a rough time of it,  truly sounds horrible.    Is your weight loss from the diarrhea?   Maybe now that you've found something that helps with that you'll gain weight and strength.   Take care of yourself!! 

Helen321's picture
Posts: 1428
Joined: May 2012

Hey Doc!  I've been coming on here to check on you.  I'm so glad that you were able to get on.  I've been thinking about you and am looking forward to your next post telling us that you're gaining weight and doing better.  Hang in there.  You've got a great spirit and I'm looking forward to hearing many more of your adventures.  Helen

thxmiker's picture
Posts: 1282
Joined: Oct 2010

We are glad you are up and fighting again!  Keep up the good fight. We are sending thoughts and prayers for you to find more strength.


No matter how bad we feel we all must remember that Food and Nutrition are feeding the enginge of life.  Oatmeal helped me with the diarrhea.  Lomotil and Simethicone help me a lot with the bowel issues.


Feel Better Ray!

Best Always, mike 

k44454445's picture
Posts: 494
Joined: Jul 2012

glad you posted but sorry to hear what you have been going thru. your onc does not know how long you have & with your fighting spirit, my money is on you!!! take care & know alot of people have missed you.

hugs & prayers


devotion10's picture
Posts: 631
Joined: Jan 2010

I just want to tell you how much I respect your courage. It sounds like you have dear friends that have loved you for a long time.  Please keep posting when you feel up to it.  Congratulations on your formal initiation into the VFW, you must be very proud. -- Cynthia


The most genuine acts of kindness are done without fanfare and when no one is looking.

Posts: 1607
Joined: Aug 2012

Hi Doc! So happy to log in and see a post from you...but sorry youve been having such a tough time. I hope you have help and someone trying to get your weight back up. I will keep you in my prayers.

Trubrit's picture
Posts: 5530
Joined: Jan 2013

Your a fighgter and we're going to be fighting by your side. 


steveandnat's picture
Posts: 887
Joined: Sep 2011

Youhave through a lot but I'm glad you're still fighting. I know what you mean there is so much more to do. Has your oncconsidered Stivarga chemo pills. I'm on them because I've been through all the other chemos and can't take them. It's too early to tell if it's stopping the cancer but I'm hopeful.  I pray yrecover well well enough to have some more adventures.  Jeff

Maxiecat's picture
Posts: 544
Joined: Jul 2012

Doc.have am so sorry that you had sutea bad reaction to the Oxy. Hopefully, the Lomotil will enable you to put some of that weight back on.  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.



renw's picture
Posts: 282
Joined: Jan 2013

If you are losing weight due to cachexia and are losing muscle tissue, hit the gym big time for resistance training. It may seem counter productive to exercise when losing weight, but its not. From my experience I lost 16kg in just a few weeks. After hitting the gym I recovered most of my previous muscle mass and gained back 7kg within 2 months, which put me back at a healthy weight for my size.

Semira's picture
Posts: 378
Joined: Mar 2012

but glad you checked to keep us updatet. Hope you'll gain your strenth back now they got something against the diarrhea.

A hug from Germany



Posts: 835
Joined: Apr 2004

Great to hear from you again - had assumed you were distracted by having a rough time but also sounds like it has been intermingled with some great times to so hope you made the most of them. Timeframes are always hard to hear and we know how inaccurate it can all be- I guess it simply focuses the mind on living every moment for its pleasure and joy where ever possible. When quantity is limited, quality becomes the issue so I hope you are able to implement your plans to get done the stuff you want (wish to share the details?)

Thoughts are with you and great to hear the positive attitude has survived these rough times,



lilacbrroller's picture
Posts: 412
Joined: Jun 2012

I've been peeking at your profile which shows when you've logged in, and I've seen activity, so that's good.

Glad you're still hanging in there and are a part of this community.   Happy day!Laughing

- Karin

johnnybegood's picture
Posts: 1122
Joined: Oct 2008

glad to see you posting again.im sorry you are having a tough time.oxy wiped me out back in 2009 and i can no longer take it.take care and Godbless...johnnybegood

Posts: 2215
Joined: Oct 2011

I am glad you posted. I have been thinking about you lately. Are you out of options. Usually Oxy is first line. Have you done irinotecan avastin erbitux or any of the new drugs. you are in my prayers.

Posts: 308
Joined: Mar 2012

Been thinking of you, I admire your attitude and fight.  Prayers to you!

Posts: 154
Joined: Oct 2012

So glad to see your post but so sorry you've had such an awful time. Hope you get better and prove those Drs wrong.

fatbob2010's picture
Posts: 467
Joined: May 2012

Very glad that you posted Doc.  Been thinking about you daily.  My options are similar with Chemo in general.  Hard to hear this type of news when there is so much more to do.  The best of everything to you Doc.  Keeping positive thoughts and sending vibes of hope and comfort to you...((HUGS))  Art


P.S.  Doc, please keep us updated as your energy and strength allow... 

wolfen's picture
Posts: 1330
Joined: Apr 2009

But damm, I'm sorry to hear than cancer has placed more land mines for you to avoid. Maybe one of the more recent chemos will work for you, like Zaltrap or Regenorafib(sp?). I think Jeff(Steveandnat) is on one of them. You CAN climb this mountain again.

Never, ever give up!



KathiM's picture
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

I wish I could do more....you HAVE had a rough time of it!!!!


Thank you for taking the energy to post...you have been much on my mind....


Sending, as always, big, warm, comfort hugs!


Hugs, Kathi

dmj101's picture
Posts: 527
Joined: Nov 2011


I am so sorry to hear you are having such a tough time...

I think of you all the time.. you were one of the first people on this site to reach out to me...

I love your spirit and I hope you have everything you need. 

I so appreiciate you taking the time to let us know what is happening..

Keep up the good fight and I know the lord is deliverying to you and thru you the spirit to keep on going..

Love you.. donna


marbleotis's picture
Posts: 715
Joined: Mar 2012

You sound as determined as ever to keep pushing forward. 

Try as best you can to gain some weight and light exercise.  We all know it is hard, but you can do it!

Best always!

Eltina21's picture
Posts: 174
Joined: May 2010

You are so right, you have some unfinished business.  Peace and Blessings unto you.

tootsie1's picture
Posts: 5065
Joined: Feb 2008

Hey, Doc.

Praying you can prove that doctor to be very wrong!



joemetz's picture
Posts: 493
Joined: Nov 2011


your post brings tears to my eyes, yet inspires me at the same time.

you're a great guy and you're always so helpful to me and to so many others on this board.

keep fighting and the hell with the expiration date!

I hope you're able to begin gaining weight.

Have you ever tried hash-brownies or hash-cookies?  they work better than any shots or other antinausea meds.



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