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Sister just diagnosed stage 4

katewatts's picture
Posts: 21
Joined: Feb 2013

Hello~  New here and have read lots of very positve stories.  My sister who lives in the UK has just been diagnosed and I am heartbroken and ready to jump on the next plane over.  She had 6 liters of fluid removed from her lungs last week.  Then the diagnosis came.  She stopped smoking about 4 years ago and was out running me a few months back.  I was so proud...then came this news.  I skyped with her last night and she said she was stage 4, N2 and B1. Looked all up and I think I know where we stand.  She is to have oncologist appointment of the 19th (consulting) then prob start treatment following week.  In the meantime, she has developed serious pain in her hip.  She is waiting on a test which takes 11 days which will tell if it has spread to other organs. She is pretty certain it has and now sounds like it's in her bones.  She is just 52. Anyway, her husband is looking into private institution who will take her asap and get started treating her.  Needless to say, I am heartbroken and remain in a total fog.  I guess my question to all who are survivors is when should we (her siblings and our mother) start going over)....don't want to be intrusive as her children (she has 4) are there ( back and forth from college) and her husband, of course is right by her side.  Should we wait till she starts chemo??  Give it a few weeks/  Not sure how a chemo patient feels about having people around.  Please advise

Jasper County Native
Posts: 15
Joined: Jan 2013

I am so sorry to hear about your sister.  News like that just hits you right in the face.  As far as when to visit, etc, I guess that is more of an individual decision.  You know her better than I do.  I will say this, support from friends, family, and lots of others has been a true blessing.  Whether or not she wants more people around her will probably vary from day to day depending on how she is feeling.  I guess the bottom line is to let her know how many people care for her and that you all are with her thru this whole thing.


God Bless

Ex_Rock_n_Roller's picture
Posts: 281
Joined: Mar 2011

... she'll be happy to have people around, but you will need to consult her on when it makes sense. You'll want to time it for when her cells have come back up after the inevitable chemo crash (how low they go probably differs per patient). Usually that means just before or immediately after a treatment; it takes a little time for the damage to the "good" cells to manifest itself.

In a general sense, I'd counsel sooner rather than later. I applaud you for being supportive; best of luck to her.

katewatts's picture
Posts: 21
Joined: Feb 2013

Thanks a million!  I have read all your stories and you have really lifted my spirits.  She is a very unselfish person and is always doing for everyone else and of course, thinks it's not necessary to come right now.  I will wait it out for now and see what is to come.  Thanks again


Posts: 1912
Joined: May 2012

Hello !

I loved getting cards, and flowers unexpectantly.  When there is a big distance to travel, believe me there is understanding.  That and she is being plummeled with alot from many directions.  Keep in touch, and you will know if you need to be there.  I'm so sorry that she and your family have to go through this.  Will be keeping you in my thoughts.   Katie

Posts: 844
Joined: Mar 2011

Have to agree with all the others.   Yes go!  But- talk to her first, better earlier in the treatment before she gets really tired.  Are member though, it's not cancer till the biopsy says its cancer.  BTW, lung cancer (even stage four) is no longer a death sentence.  

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