No mention of seeing the Dr....

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  • abrub
    abrub Member Posts: 2,174 Member
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    This will sound horrible but...
    I have to agree with the advice being given here - you are in an abusive relationship. When I mentioned this to my husband, he immediately asked if you have a life insurance policy for which your husband is beneficiary? In other words, how much does he stand to make if you don't survive?

    PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE take care of yourself. Abusers often look "perfect" to the outside world, but you are living with the reality. Don't let him ruin your life.

    We're here to support you.

    Alice
  • Doc_Hawk
    Doc_Hawk Member Posts: 685
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    cinreag said:

    Thanks for all the info...
    There is a lot of helpful information in these replies. Thank you all so much.
    Im going to respond to what I can remember, I cant read the replies while I am writing my response. (Im on a phone)
    First response to Mike...We went to counseling one time about 15yrs ago. I was considering leaving my marriage then. At the counseling session he answered every question for asked me. The counselor finally asked him to leave the room so I could talk. He gave me copies of CODA papers and said Mrs. Reagin you are married to a very dangerous man. I believe he has changed but I will never know for sure unless I actually left. Not even something that I want to find out, just in case he hasnt changed. I wish he would agree to go to counseling I feel like it could only help. He doesnt think he needs any help. He is sure that Im the one who needs help, mental help, and I think I probably do.
    My post is getting too long and my phone may mess up.
    I will definately check out the list of places you guys recommended I try.
    I know that as my husband he is "legally" responsible also. I know that since we are married half is supposed to be mine "legally". Legally means nothing to him.
    Doc Im pretty sure Im healthy enough now to work so dont think I would qualify for disability.
    Someone asked if finances were why I quit my chemo treatments, I dont think it was at the time because I had been approved for disability medicaid at that time, the chemo scared me, and a specialist in Indy had said the cancer found in my 2(?) Lymphnodes(sp) didnt worry him, and I felt that my tumor had been removed the cancer was gone I didnt want to risk getting any more sick from the chemo. Hopefully Im not confusing everyone.
    Someone mentioned my low self esteem. Yes it is low. Maybe at an all time low and a job would help tremendously. Still hoping for that.
    I am planning, after reading your responses, to try to talk to him again about how important it is for me to have these checkups. Maybe I can get through to him somehow. People who care about me have been praying about this situation. I believe it will take Devine intervention to get him to react differently when I bring up the medical bill payment atrangements and the fact that I do need to see the Dr for my checkup. But Im going to eat some crow and bring it up again.
    Thank you guys for your responses. They mean a lot to me.
    U wish you all the best. You guys are some honest to goodness good people!!

    SSDI
    Again, I'm not sure if cancer is automatic 100% nor am I certain on the following. Just because you feel you can hold down a job today does not mean you'll feel the same way in 6 months. That's about how long it takes to get approved or denied for SSDI. The best thing to do on this is to consult with a Social Security Attorney. These are private lawyers and not employees of the Federal government and if you do sign a contract with one, you won't pay a cent until your case is approved. When that happens, they will collect a 25% few of the back pay you'll get. From the time that you file the claim until it is approved, you will accumulate what your eventual monthly payment will be. So you will be nothing out of pocket until then, and 25% is less than other lawyers charge for services.

    My experience with SSDI and SSDI lawyers has been pretty positive. I was approved 100% on my first claim (which did take 6 months). I had filed on my own and after about 5 months I was preparing for a denial so I hired an attorney. A day or two after I signed the contract, I was notified of the approval. When I called the lawyers office they said they would shred the contract as soon as they got it in the mail and not charge me a cent. I never went into their office, everything was transacted over the phone and mail.

    Just as in medical problems you want to talk with a doctor, in legal matters talk to an attorney and not just take the word of and astrophysicist/historian.

    Best wishes, hopes, prayers and good vibrations.

    Ray/Doc