Dying from Cancer...

PhillieG
PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866
edited August 2012 in Colorectal Cancer #1
My in-laws were in very good shape health-wise. They ate a good diet, not overweight at all.
Few health issues even for their ages (Bill - 91 & Joyce - 88) They walked every day.
This past Saturday, they were involved in a very tragic car accident.
Joyce suffered severe trauma and went into a coma. She died Sunday morning at 7:23am.
Bill also suffered severe trauma and is being kept sedated. He doesn't know about Joyce.
It's likely he will survive but will have months or rehab at best.

They were going to a store about 200 yards from where they live,
like they often do. It was a gorgeous Saturday afternoon...

We NEVER know what will happen when we leave the house.
Many of us have cancer and it's easy to get obsessed with dying from cancer.
They didn't have cancer but their life changed in the blink of an eye.
Joyce is dead, Bill will possibly die from a broken heart when/if he pulls through...

Live your life like you're going out to the store.
You don't know what might happen...
Peace.
-phil

PS: Here's a photo of Joyce.
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Comments

  • Luckygirl2
    Luckygirl2 Member Posts: 308
    Thank you!
    I needed that jolt of reality this morning. So sorry for your loss.
  • Coppercent
    Coppercent Member Posts: 158
    Sorry for your families loss.
    Phil,

    First my thoughts and prayers go out to your family. We never really know when our time will be here. Many people have asked me since diagnosis if I am afraid of dying. I always say no more or no less then I was before cancer. For me, all cancer did was remind me that we all die and I should remember to live each day to the fullest. We are all going to die one day we just don't know when. I have never let my diagnosis allow me to concentrate on death. I will never give cancer that much power over my thoughts.
  • scared99
    scared99 Member Posts: 72
    My thoughts are with you and
    My thoughts are with you and your family. No one knows what tommorow will bring. We just need to try and enjoy each new day.
  • z
    z Member Posts: 1,411 Member
    Phil
    Phil, I'm so sorry for your loss.

    I love the people who live so long, they give me hope, and show that they are strong as growing older isn't for sissy's. My grandma was 88 when she passed and I still miss her till this day, and will always miss her. She passed not from cancer but heart problems.

    My step-son died at 20 in a car accident, whereas, he was involved in trying to steal drugs and was crushed between 2 cars. He wasn't happy in this world, which makes me very sad.

    Live today. Lori
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    Peace, Phil...
    My condolences to you and your wife's family, Phil...

    That's going to be a difficult conversation for your father-in-law to hear.

    One day at a defensive driving course, the instructor asked me, "What's the most dangerous thing that you do every day?"

    I told him, "Driving."

    It's mostly "offensive driving" down here now, which I find very offensive most days. Each morning, the majority of us hit the road and hope that we will see the driveway that evening - your story is a reminder of how quickly plans can change.

    Funerals are a difficult time - for many different reasons. As you say, may "peace" be with all of you during this sudden turn of events. I'm very sorry to hear this, but thank you for sharing it and for the reminder as well.

    -Craig
  • tommycat
    tommycat Member Posts: 790
    Excellent post
    It's true...when we hear "You have cancer," it's easy to think and obsess on what we think will be the end of us.
    Your post is a reminder that none of us has that crystal ball with our expiration date in it.
    Random thought came to mind: Wonder if anyone's ever died in a car accident on his/her way to get chemo because he/she was too distracted, thinking about the treatment.
    Very sorry about your loss~
    Tommycat
  • Semira
    Semira Member Posts: 381 Member
    Phil, so sorry for your loss
    and a warm embrace from Germany. Thanks for reminding us of the ony truth thats for sure... you don't know what might happen...

    Petra
  • This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • YoVita
    YoVita Member Posts: 590
    So sorry
    for your family's loss.
  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    Dear Phil
    My sincere condolences to you and your family on the loss of your loved one.

    You are so very right. There is no way to know when or how our days will end.

    Prayers for Bill's recovery and all who loved Joyce.

    Hugs,

    Marie who loves kitties
  • danker
    danker Member Posts: 1,276
    phillieg
    My condolences for your loss. You said it all "We never know""
  • MrsJP
    MrsJP Member Posts: 157
    Phil-
    So sorry to hear of your families loss. Sending hugs and peaceful thoughts your way.
    jp
  • janie1
    janie1 Member Posts: 753
    MrsJP said:

    Phil-
    So sorry to hear of your families loss. Sending hugs and peaceful thoughts your way.
    jp

    So sorry, Phil.
    Peace to all

    So sorry, Phil.
    Peace to all of your family.
  • annalexandria
    annalexandria Member Posts: 2,571
    Oh gosh, Phil, I'm so sorry to hear this.
    What a terrible loss for your family. We lost my uncle under similar circumstances, in a car crash when he was 80. Sending hope for peace and healing your way~Ann
  • abrub
    abrub Member Posts: 2,174 Member
    Dear Phil,
    What a tragedy

    Dear Phil,

    What a tragedy and what a reminder of how ephemeral life is. Sending wishes of peace to you and your family.

    Alice
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,715 Member
    Sorry
    So sorry to hear that and what a tragic accident. You are right, there are so many instances in your life when it can change so quickly. My condolences to you, your wife, and father-in-law.

    Kim
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866
    Thank You All
    It's been VERY tough on my wife and her two sisters.
    It's also been tough on me but I've lost my Dad already
    after it dragging out for 12 years due to a stroke and my
    Mom's still around, but at 93 that's something that won't
    be "a shock" when it does happen.

    I'm glad that everyone gets The Point of my post.

    PS: Here's a photo of Joyce. Joyce and Bill were professional Dancers (like Fred & Ginger) back in the late 40's and 50's...
  • Doc_Hawk
    Doc_Hawk Member Posts: 685
    Condolences
    Phil,

    So sorry to hear of the loss you and your family have suffered, especially your father in law. Prayers and hugs going to you and yours. And yes, life is just one big question mark.
    Ray/Doc
  • dmj101
    dmj101 Member Posts: 527
    PhillieG said:

    Thank You All
    It's been VERY tough on my wife and her two sisters.
    It's also been tough on me but I've lost my Dad already
    after it dragging out for 12 years due to a stroke and my
    Mom's still around, but at 93 that's something that won't
    be "a shock" when it does happen.

    I'm glad that everyone gets The Point of my post.

    PS: Here's a photo of Joyce. Joyce and Bill were professional Dancers (like Fred & Ginger) back in the late 40's and 50's...

    Phill, I am sorry for your
    Phill, I am sorry for your loss... my prayer and hugs are right now for you and your family.. May there be some peace in your house at this time.
    The Pic of Joyce is beautiful and I am sure the way she would want to be remembered.
    Your points are never lost on most of us.. we are all in the same place.. even though we don't always comment know we think of you often..
    Prayers and <<HUGS>>
    Donna
  • Cathleen Mary
    Cathleen Mary Member Posts: 827
    Doc_Hawk said:

    Condolences
    Phil,

    So sorry to hear of the loss you and your family have suffered, especially your father in law. Prayers and hugs going to you and yours. And yes, life is just one big question mark.
    Ray/Doc

    So very sorry

    Phil, I am so sorry for the loss of your mother-in- law and this tragic accident. You are quite right about the fragility of life. Please know that you, Dana, and her family are in my heart and prayer.

    Cathleen Mary