My in-laws were in very good shape health-wise. They ate a good diet, not overweight at all.
Few health issues even for their ages (Bill - 91 & Joyce - 88) They walked every day.
This past Saturday, they were involved in a very tragic car accident.
Joyce suffered severe trauma and went into a coma. She died Sunday morning at 7:23am.
Bill also suffered severe trauma and is being kept sedated. He doesn't know about Joyce.
It's likely he will survive but will have months or rehab at best.
They were going to a store about 200 yards from where they live,
like they often do. It was a gorgeous Saturday afternoon...
We NEVER know what will happen when we leave the house.
Many of us have cancer and it's easy to get obsessed with dying from cancer.
They didn't have cancer but their life changed in the blink of an eye.
Joyce is dead, Bill will possibly die from a broken heart when/if he pulls through...
Live your life like you're going out to the store.
You don't know what might happen...
Peace.
-phil
PS: Here's a photo of Joyce.
Joined: Mar 2012
Thank you!
I needed that jolt of reality this morning. So sorry for your loss.
Joined: Jan 2012
Sorry for your families loss.
Phil,
First my thoughts and prayers go out to your family. We never really know when our time will be here. Many people have asked me since diagnosis if I am afraid of dying. I always say no more or no less then I was before cancer. For me, all cancer did was remind me that we all die and I should remember to live each day to the fullest. We are all going to die one day we just don't know when. I have never let my diagnosis allow me to concentrate on death. I will never give cancer that much power over my thoughts.
Joined: Jun 2012
My thoughts are with you and
My thoughts are with you and your family. No one knows what tommorow will bring. We just need to try and enjoy each new day.
Joined: May 2009
Phil
Phil, I'm so sorry for your loss.
I love the people who live so long, they give me hope, and show that they are strong as growing older isn't for sissy's. My grandma was 88 when she passed and I still miss her till this day, and will always miss her. She passed not from cancer but heart problems.
My step-son died at 20 in a car accident, whereas, he was involved in trying to steal drugs and was crushed between 2 cars. He wasn't happy in this world, which makes me very sad.
Live today. Lori
Joined: Jun 2009
Peace, Phil...
My condolences to you and your wife's family, Phil...
That's going to be a difficult conversation for your father-in-law to hear.
One day at a defensive driving course, the instructor asked me, "What's the most dangerous thing that you do every day?"
I told him, "Driving."
It's mostly "offensive driving" down here now, which I find very offensive most days. Each morning, the majority of us hit the road and hope that we will see the driveway that evening - your story is a reminder of how quickly plans can change.
Funerals are a difficult time - for many different reasons. As you say, may "peace" be with all of you during this sudden turn of events. I'm very sorry to hear this, but thank you for sharing it and for the reminder as well.
-Craig
Joined: Aug 2011
Excellent post
It's true...when we hear "You have cancer," it's easy to think and obsess on what we think will be the end of us.
Your post is a reminder that none of us has that crystal ball with our expiration date in it.
Random thought came to mind: Wonder if anyone's ever died in a car accident on his/her way to get chemo because he/she was too distracted, thinking about the treatment.
Very sorry about your loss~
Tommycat
Joined: Mar 2012
Phil, so sorry for your loss
and a warm embrace from Germany. Thanks for reminding us of the ony truth thats for sure... you don't know what might happen...
Petra
N/A
This comment has been removed by the Moderator
Joined: Mar 2010
So sorry
for your family's loss.
Joined: Jan 2010
Dear Phil
My sincere condolences to you and your family on the loss of your loved one.
You are so very right. There is no way to know when or how our days will end.
Prayers for Bill's recovery and all who loved Joyce.
Hugs,
Marie who loves kitties
Joined: Apr 2012
phillieg
My condolences for your loss. You said it all "We never know""
Joined: Jan 2011
Phil-
So sorry to hear of your families loss. Sending hugs and peaceful thoughts your way.
jp
Joined: Apr 2011
So sorry, Phil. Peace to all
So sorry, Phil.
Peace to all of your family.
Joined: Oct 2011
Oh gosh, Phil, I'm so sorry to hear this.
What a terrible loss for your family. We lost my uncle under similar circumstances, in a car crash when he was 80. Sending hope for peace and healing your way~Ann
Joined: Mar 2010
Dear Phil, What a tragedy
Dear Phil,
What a tragedy and what a reminder of how ephemeral life is. Sending wishes of peace to you and your family.
Alice
Joined: Feb 2009
Sorry
So sorry to hear that and what a tragic accident. You are right, there are so many instances in your life when it can change so quickly. My condolences to you, your wife, and father-in-law.
Kim
Joined: May 2005
Thank You All
It's been VERY tough on my wife and her two sisters.
It's also been tough on me but I've lost my Dad already
after it dragging out for 12 years due to a stroke and my
Mom's still around, but at 93 that's something that won't
be "a shock" when it does happen.
I'm glad that everyone gets The Point of my post.
PS: Here's a photo of Joyce. Joyce and Bill were professional Dancers (like Fred & Ginger) back in the late 40's and 50's...
Joined: Nov 2011
Phill, I am sorry for your
Phill, I am sorry for your loss... my prayer and hugs are right now for you and your family.. May there be some peace in your house at this time.
The Pic of Joyce is beautiful and I am sure the way she would want to be remembered.
Your points are never lost on most of us.. we are all in the same place.. even though we don't always comment know we think of you often..
Prayers and <>
Donna
Joined: May 2011
Beautiful Picture...
Phil, so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing and reminding us to show our love for our family. This will be tough time for your wife and her family. My prayers are with them.
NB
Joined: Jan 2012
Condolences
Phil,
So sorry to hear of the loss you and your family have suffered, especially your father in law. Prayers and hugs going to you and yours. And yes, life is just one big question mark.
Ray/Doc
Joined: May 2011
So very sorry
Phil, I am so sorry for the loss of your mother-in- law and this tragic accident. You are quite right about the fragility of life. Please know that you, Dana, and her family are in my heart and prayer.
Cathleen Mary
Joined: Jul 2012
I am so sorry to hear about
I am so sorry to hear about your in laws. I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. You are so right about how you never know what could happen...something that could change any one of our lives in an instant. Every day is a gift.
Alex
Joined: Jul 2012
sorry for your loss
so sorry for your loss. i will pray for strength for you & your family.
judy
Joined: Apr 2009
How Tragic!
Phil,
My condolences to you, your wife, and extended family. I am hoping for a fast recovery for your father-in-law. I'm sure it will be so hard on him.
Your philosophy of life rings true.
Luv,
Wolfen
Joined: May 2009
My condolences. We just
My condolences. We just never know.
Joined: Nov 2011
so sorry and thank you
Phil
so sorry for the loss of Joyce, and so sorry to hear about the current and future suffering and pain for Bill.
your wife has a lot on her plate right now... I pray that our Lord will give her and your entire family strength through yet another difficult time.
My wife is named Dana as well. And if she's anything like my wife... she'll be strong.
I totally "get" what you are saying about having Cancer and having "time" to deal with the timeline of life. I've told people who ask me how i "feel" about getting Cancer.
I reply with "I'll take Cancer over the Grayhound Bus Syndrome".
People look at me and often i need to explain what that means.... but it sincerely wakes people up once they understand.
thanks for sharing and prayers are coming your way from Toledo!
my best
Joe Metz
Joined: Sep 2011
so sad
I'm so sad hearing about your in laws so tragic. If there is such a thing as a positive to having cancer is you do have time to prepare for your death. May you mother in law rest in peace and father in law have a good recovery. Jeff
Joined: Apr 2010
Phil
I wanted to send my condolences to you and yours. My mother passed away at the ripe old age of 90, having lived a life full of wonder, joy, sorrows, regrets, laughter, dreams and hopes, and even though she lived such a long life, it seemed to short to me. It goes to show us, that it doesn't matter what age our parents die at, it's full of sorrow for those of us left behind, they are our rocks.
My sympathies,
Winter Marie
Joined: Jan 2012
Just a second
That's all it takes. Just one second to make a drastic change in or end a life. This evening when I went to dinner with my folks, my dad tripped and fell as he was going into the restaurant and hit his head on the door. Back in December he'd taken a horrible fall that by all rights should have killed him instead of just breaking several ribs. That was how I woke p on Christmas morning, my mom yelling for me that he'd fallen. After his fall this evening, we went to the ER and nothing was broken, no concussion and he'll be sore for a while but otherwise alright. But it really does show just how fast it can all happen and as George Carlin once said, there is no two minute warning like in sports.
Joined: Oct 2008
oh phil
i am sorry for you and your wifes loss.your story is very true.we all get caught up in our cancer lifes and it may not even be the cancer that takes us...Godbless...johnnybegood
Joined: Jan 2012
We have to go
Phil,
My best wishes to you and family at this present time. We all have to go one day, so we might aswell enjoy what time we have left in this world, "crying out loud" my life has been affected by CRC.
Cheers…. Andrew
Joined: Jul 2012
So sorry to hear about your
So sorry to hear about your in laws but loved your post! A great reminder for us all!
Joined: Mar 2006
Loss
I'm so sorry to hear of your tragic loss. I agree that we should live our lives like we're going to the store. We just have to live every day to the fullest. You and your family are in my prayers.
Joy
Joined: Jan 2009
Oh Phil
Oh Phil,
I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your mother-in-law Joyce. What a beautiful woman. I will say prayers for your father-in-law, what a horrible bit of information he is going to receive.
You have always said that living is the way to do this. You are so right. We never know.
Aloha,
Kathleen
Joined: Feb 2008
Oh, Phil. That's so very
Oh, Phil.
That's so very sad. I'm really, really sorry. I know your poor wife must be in such shock over this sudden loss, and it sounds like you have been very fond of them, so I know it's a great loss for you, as well.
What you wrote was both beautiful and true. We have to squeeze all the joy out of this life while we have it.
By the way, Joyce was lovely! Her picture reminds me of Ingrid Bergman.
*hugs*
GAil
Joined: Aug 2010
Sorry for your Loss
A sad story and well put Phil. My heart goes out to your wife and her sisters.
Peace,
Tom
Joined: Jul 2012
Hi Phil...
I'm so sorry that this happened to your family and my condolences to you and your wife. Unexpected deaths are so difficult for those left to morn. You are so right...we need to live life in the moment...like we are going out to the store. Thanks for sharing the beautiful picture of your Mother-in-law. I hope that your Father-in-law's recovery will be faster than what is anticipated and I wish him well.
Kathy :)
Joined: Apr 2010
Dear Phil, Oh my, that is
Dear Phil,
Oh my, that is such sad news. Our condolences to you and your family on your loss.
With sympathy,
Cynthia and Rick
Joined: Sep 2009
I am very sorry, what a
I am very sorry, what a beautiful picture of her. May peace be with you and your family.
Joined: Oct 2010
I'm so sorry for that
I'm so sorry for that terrible accident and the hurt and suffering it may cause. 91 and 88...that is amazing! Hugs to you and your loved ones.
Gail
Joined: Oct 2010
Beautiful picture!
Beautiful picture!
Joined: Jun 2011
Phil
Sorry for your lose
Joined: Feb 2012
So sorry, Phil...
What a terrible tragedy! And you are so right. You just never know. My condolences to you, your wife, your family... a dear friend just went through this exact same thing. It's so hard to think of her dad alone now. I hope your father in law can find peace with this situation and that his condition is improving. So, so sad! I'm sorry.
Sandy
Joined: Jul 2009
What a horrible tragedy! I
What a horrible tragedy! I can only imagine how hard this has been for all of you. Your message of course is one for all of us, the fraility of life and how quickly it can be gone. I hope in time your family will find comfort and smiles in the memories of lives lived well and long.