Vertigo - Is It Just That? Or a Stroke (TIA)? Or mCRC to the Brain?

tomsgirls said:

brain mets 2 to be exact!
I am new to this board, but have been dealing with crc since my husbands diagnosis late nov 2010 at 39 years of age.Since his diagnosis, he has endured chemoradiation, then cancer advancement to the liver(4 lesions), liver wedge left side and portal vein embolization to right liver and then in October 26,2011 liver advances to both lungs so radical surgery on Oct. 28, 2011 (11 hours) to remove all but 27% of his liver, vats to left lung and wedges and lower 1/3 of right lung removal, only to receive news one week later that more nodules in both lungs...From this surgery he passed out, developed severe plural effusion and we almost lost him, turned yellow and took 2 months for that to go away, then had a major seizure on Jan. 22, 2012. He has been on folfox with avastin,now currently on folfori (which he does every 2 weeks and has had 4 treatments), only now to tell us life is grim. Gamma Knife was done 2 the lesions on Feb. 7, 2012 and mri showed success.We are a family of 5, my husband and I are 40, with 3 girls, ages 14,11,7. I just found this forum today and have just cried knowing that sometime soon I am going to loose the love of my life, my best friend, our daddy, to this dreadful disease. He has been such a fighter, and to look at him, you would not know that he is so sick. I dont know how we will survive without him, I truly dont. Life is so unfair, and everytime we thought he was making great strides, the doctors told us otherwise. However, still cant get the 2 doctors voices out of my head, his cancer is stage 3, but treatable and the lung doctor in October told me, with a great big smile on his face, that my husband would lead a long successful life and would walk all 3 girls down the wedding aisle one day and see his grandbabies...surgery was a total no success, NED, now you go rest and this nightmare will soon be over for you! Tears of joy, only to come crashing down as the days went by and here i am on this forum, and learn that sometime this year, we will loose him...

Hi TG:)
Welcome to the forum:)

Wow, this is a hard story for sure. You've both had your hands full for quite a spell.

A couple of things - you mentioned GammaKnife, so he does have mets to his brain? And there have been a couple of treatments and the scan showed good, did I get that right?

It sounds like despite the surgery and treatments, new tumors appeared in the lung? Sounds like the liver is good at this point.

Folfiri is good at shrinking and controlling tumors, so don't give up hope just yet. These treatments could be successful.

For mets to the brains, the forum has one case (TaraHK) who just went through brain radiation and a combination of Folfox and Folfiri and is now adding Gemzar to the mix. She's doing remarkably well and her case sure has surprised me. The other 3 folks we had did not fare as well.

So, I'm watching Tara's case with great interest, as that is my greatest fear. She's doing pretty good from what she tells us, so that's a hopeful situation right there.

I know you're scared - and have every right to be. Wouldn't be normal if you weren't. But, we've got time to raise the white flag later, not now, not yet. Let's see where the chemo treatments take him.

And keep coming back here as we'd all like to meet you...even if we can't directly help, we can be of emotional support and a confidante and friend to you - we're pretty good about doing that.

Just keep this thought in mind as you go forward...

"There's many a slip - betwixt the cup and the lip."

Meaning, it isn't over till it's over...stay in the fight...keep coming back and talking to us...bring us some info...and we'll try and help if we can....or at least give you a big hug...you don't have to go through this alone....I just wanted you to know that.

-Craig

tomsgirls said:

Thanks Craig for the
Thanks Craig for the response. I fill so overwhelmed and alone. I never imagined life could be so hard, but very difficult it is.We find out on the 19th how things are going for Tom, ct, mri, xrays, His doctors have repeated to us, to live this next year to the fullest, and how can we do that, Tom is receiving Social Security but all that goes to pay for cobra insurance, for I am self employed, but trying to find another job. To sum up our lives, I was diagnosed on March 20, 2007 with Stage 2b Hodgkins Lymphoma-6months of treatment, then Nov. 2007 diagnosed with Stage 2 Thyroid Cancer, then December 17, 2008, 4 inch mass detected by PET scan on the top of my heart so at the age of 38, I had open heart surgery and removed the 4 inch mass along with another 1 inch mass, however, these 2 masses turned out to be side effects of chemo.We thought that those 2 years were the worst, but my husband was my biggest supporter. Our 3 grils are 14, 11, and 7 and Nov. 2010 Tom was diagnosed with stage 3 rectal cancer, and the doctors was so positive all would be fine. Here we are and now he has underwent chemoradiation, left wedge liver surgery, 11 hour total right liver removal with vats to left lung and and lots of wedges and 1/3 of right lobe removal on Oct 28, 2011 only to be told ONE WEEK LATER, there were more lung nodules. His last ct exam in Feb. showed 2 quarter size lesions in liver 2 new small ones, multiple new lesions in both lungs along with growth to existing ones. I am so angry, I dont understand why. Our family has already been thru the cancer life with me, and now Tom, we have been honest with our girls, but all they know is cancer.I dont know how we will make it.I cry so often, and to think of our future, I dont know how we will be able to survive. Our girls have lost so much of their childhood to cancer and to loose their daddy too, along with how am I going to provide for them, without having to work multiple jobs. I know the cancer Tom has is so aggressive, he is kras mutant, was suppose to have temporary ileostomy with reversal, now when his rectum leaks out dark mucas the doctors just change the subject, tell him chemo is knocking stuff loose, but he has the urge to go to the bathroom which depresses him with this nasty leakage along with blood sometimes. I know I have said alot, but there is so much, and I juist dont have anyone to talk to. Ik dont want to be a widow, I dont want to loose my best friend, husband or daddy, but each day I see how weak he has gotten. I dont want him to suffer, but I dont want to loose him.I keep praying for a miracle but after Toms seizure in January I think that was the moment I lost myself and any strength that I was once had. I am tired of the doctors asking me why do you continue to cry, you know that we were only trying to prolong his life. I wish we could go back and have a do over, and went to MSK instead of the 2 hospitals we went to, one being the biggest cancer hospital, wish we offered an HAI pump, but instead jhust chemo and surgury. Dreading what the hospital tells us next week, praying my prayers will be answered, and the team of doctors will just be amazed at Toms health. Peace to you. thanks for listening. TG

Wow, TG!
Your story is heartbreaking and brought tears to my eyes...I can feel the pain and sorrow in your words...your family has indeed been through alot and enough should be enough.

I know we often times look back and wonder "what if." Sometimes, it is good to do that as it provides us with the moral compass to try and not repeat the same things we did before. But, it can hurt you too - brings you too much guilt about what you did or didn't do at the time.

The bottom line is you did the best that you all could do - at the time that you had to do it. Nobody here can ask anymore from you - or ourselves. I've made a couple of major blunders in my journey that put me in a bad position - and could have been fatal if it had gone unchecked.

I use those experiences to remind myself to not go that route again...but mistakes are made not only by us but by our medical teams - nobody really means to do it, it is an imperfect science.

You've been through the wringer...it's only understandable that you would both be upset with feelings of depression...if I were your husband, I would be feeling the same thing, no doubt. It's the hope that keeps us going - and when we lose sight of that - we lose sight of ourselves - and that can be a scary place to be - a place where you all find yourselves at right now.

All of your feelings are just calling out to me right now - I'm having to dry my eyes as I write you - I don't think there is anything that I can say that will heal your wounds...BUT, you always have me to talk to when you need to...plenty of other fine folks here too that will lend you a shoulder and an ear.

Nobody wants to lose what they've got - what they've worked so hard for - what they spent a lifetime building their lives around. So, your thoughts on losing your husband and what you and your family face are all real and valid concerns.

I'll certainly be interested in what the doctors tell you next week..."Prepare for the worst - but hope for the best." That sounds corny and frivilous but sometimes when that is all we have - that is all there really is.

We can't go back - we can only move forward - armed with what we've learned and a plan of action of some type, either proactive or palliative.

Lastly, I know you're angry - you're angry at what you cannot control - and what life has thrown at you - and how you will deal and cope with the issues you find at your doorstep. No easy answers for sure...your daughters, while they may have lost some childhood innocence will undoubtedly end up as strong women from what they have learned from both of you.

That kind of lesson is priceless, though it comes at with a high price to pay. But, they will have undergone a transformation that many of their peers might not have - and that puts them to the head of the classroom for 'real-life' applications.

With a heart full of sorrow, I wish I could give you more guidance and direction. I'll just stop here for now until we know more. I don't want to put the cart before the horse...you may need to talk again at a later time.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings - they are very touching and poignant - we try and see cancer in all of its abstract forms - but when you drill down past that and get to the people - then that's where it gets much realer - and where it hurts the most.

Sending you best wishes for your consult next week...

-Craig