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It happened so fast... Renee has passed
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Dec 02, 2011 - 2:19 am
Thank you all for helping me with this journey. My wife Renee (Nay)died in her sleep last night. Luckily we had told our four children that while we hoped to stave off death, that things could unravel. Unfortunately my wife thought she had a few months left. The doctors were stunned she went so fast. But I knew last night she was nearing the end. Even I though was surprised to wake up in the middle of the night and not hear her familiar breathing. Oh God what a day this has been!THere is only one thing worse than telling four young children that their mom does not have long to live... and that is that their mom is dead. Below is somthing I found on her nightstand that she recently wrote: UNLUCKY(with a strikethru on the UN) When I was first diagnosed with lung cancer, I asked why? What did I do? The people in white lab coats with concerned smiles and sympathetic smiles said, “We don’t know, you were just unlucky.” When faced with a disease that will certainly take your life much younger than you ever imagined, “unlucky” seems such an inappropriate word. If I write a book, it will be called, UNLUCKY(Strikethru on the UN). One thing my journey with cancer has taught me is how lucky I am. I married my best friend thirteen years ago, and he has made all this bearable. His strength and love is one of my greatest blessings. My beautiful children are each unique and a blessing in every way. Friends and family have stepped up and helped with meals, money, prayers and love. I have three degrees, have traveled to Europe, the Bahamas, Alaska, Australia and much of the US. I have never been hungry or without a home. My church family is extremely caring and a true model of God’s love. In my book I will CHOOSE to focus on the lucky. My time is full of joy and love. - Renee (NAY) Lampman Thank you everybody. And thank my good fortune(yes, I am an athesist)to have had my wife. Ben PAUL Lampman |
Joined: Jul 2011
I am so very sorry for your loss
Renee's last message tells me that she was a courageous woman and such loving mom and wife. I admire her for her strength in fighting this awful disease. Instead of feeling sorry for herself, she was actually grateful for what she had. She makes me realize how much I have to be thankful for despite having lost mom last year and now dad battling lung cancer. Thank you Paul and Renee for sharing your story.
nix
Joined: Sep 2006
Paul
I can only reiterate the words of myparentsdaughter: so very sorry for your loss. You are grieving, I know, but there is some comfort in seeing that you understand already that there was a message for you in your wife's note as well: you were lucky to have her.
I wish you and your family the best through this time of great emotional upheaval. This community remains here for you whenever you need to 'talk'.
Take care,
Joe
Joined: May 2009
I'm at a loss for words but
I'm at a loss for words but would like to offer my sincerest sympathy at this tragic time. I have followed your wife's story and was always amazed at her strength and determination. After reading several of your posts I began to realize that she got some of that from you as you were fighting this battle with her.
Her note was inspirational, as was everything she did.
Stay strong and cherish the memories you two made and the four wonderful children you have.
Glenna
Joined: Mar 2011
This is a heavy blow to bear
What a great lady, whose words are an inspiration to us all. No need for the "I am an atheist" disclaimer; you are a human being like the rest of us, who obviously has his head and heart in the right place. Watch over those kids, and keep the stories of their mom alive.
All strength to you, sir.
Steve
Joined: Jan 2011
Oh No
Paul I have followed your journey with your wife and been full of admiration for both of you. I knew she was very ill but still I can't believe she has gone. However, her legacy lives on in your children and in you. Just know Paul that you fought hard with her and did the best you could have done.
Renee was so grateful for her life and I know you were too.
Please accept my sympathy and I hope you will come back and let us know how you and the children are doing.
May she rest in peace after a well fought battle..........Diane
Joined: May 2009
NayPaul
I am so sorry for the passing of your wife. Everytime I read your post I could feel the love for your wife. Your wife has written a beautiful letter, and it shows how happy she was with her life. I hope for your familys healing. Lori
Joined: May 2010
My heart breaks for you and
My heart breaks for you and your children. What a wonderful gift your dear wife Renee left for you on her nightstand. I considered every victory Renee had as a victory for the rest of us as well. I admired her strength and determination and gained strength and determination for myself through her. Stay strong Paul, and know that you were loved.
Joined: Jul 2011
I am very sorry for your loss.
Hello....I am sorry to hear of your wife's passing.I am sure at this time you are grieving her loss, but I am most sure that you will celebrate her life and the wonderful wife and mother she had the opportunity to be.This moment in time is but a glimpse of her life.The way I have noticed you speak of her in the few months I have been on this board,I can tell you have loved her dearly and she you...
I will pray that you find peace as well as your children in their time of sorrow.Just remember, she is still and forever will be in your heart.
Sincerely, Cathy(kado)
Joined: Apr 2011
So very very sorry to hear....
that Renee has passed. She indeed was an incredibly strong woman with such a zest for life. I was always in awe of her determination. My heartfelt sympathies to you Paul and your children. Your loss is great. Know we are here for you. Cheryl
Joined: Nov 2011
Heartfelt messages
Granny Love - I am new to this site. I have been following some of your replys and appreciate your comments & approach to life. We have only been battling this Lung cancer since March 2011. Stage 4 in the spine so far.
He is a real warrior and a good patient so he makes my like alot easier. I am trusting the Lord for peace and guidance. It is the only way for us.
Joined: Feb 2011
I am at a loss of words
She was an amazing woman and mother! She amazed me on her walks alone and I would look at my Mom and say wow how did she do that?
Cherish the LOVE and JOY you both had and share it with your beautiful children, you had something real special that a lot of Americans here take for granted!
God Bless Paul
My thoughts are with you and your family
Lorraine
Joined: May 2011
So sorry ,Paul
I always looked forward to your posts and hope you stop by when you want to.
What a beautiful sentiment she left for you. Take care of yourself and the kids.
Joined: Aug 2008
Paul
I am also sorry, athough that doesn't seem like enough to say. I wish I had something magical or profound to say that could take the pain away for you and your children. But I don't. I wish your wife had been able to write her book. I would have loved to read it. Best to you and your children. Take care.
cathy
Joined: Aug 2010
She was so strong!
Paul, I'm so sorry to hear of your wife's passing. She fought & sounded like such a wonderful lady. I always question why God always takes such sweet people who have so much to offer. But guess we can't question can we?
Please be strong. This site has been such a support to me when my husband was sick for the short time. I still keep coming back to check on people I've gotten to know.
"Carole"
Joined: Mar 2011
Paul
My heart goes out to you and your family. Sending much prayers on your behalf. Sending my condolences. jackie
Joined: Dec 2009
So Sorry
NayPaul, What a inspiration your wife and you were to so many of us, it is just so heartbreaking to hear this sad news. So sorry for your loss..... Take care ...... Dan
Joined: Mar 2011
The two of you shared a love
The two of you shared a love that many only dream of. So sorry for your loss.
Joined: Jul 2011
Such a great loss
Paul I;m so sorry to hear about Renee. We are here for you always ,as you have been for alot of us. Hopefully she is resting in peace and pain free. My love goes out to the kids and please keep us informed how you all are doing.
Joined: Oct 2010
can u believe
Thanks everyone..... it has bbeen a tough weekend...... and although it ended well.... wwe had a second shoccker this weekend. My six year was ran oer by a car this weekend.... ill post a link to the news story
http://www.wowt.com/mobi/news?storyid=134993898
:)
Joined: Aug 2009
so sorry
Renee wrote the first chapter; perhaps you can finish it for her and your children. My deepest condolences.
medi
Joined: May 2009
NayPaul
I am so sorry about your 6 year old, and I just read the story. What a cute little girl and so brave. Wow, I tried to picture what happened there. You are one strong man, to have been able to handle this so well. I am so glad your little girl is fine. I wish your family continued healing. Lori
Joined: Apr 2011
My Goodness!!
I can't imagine what was going thru your mind during this incident but so thankful that all is well with your daughter now. Whew! There are angels among us. Blessings to you and your children. Cheryl
Joined: Aug 2010
thinking about you!
Hi,
Just wondering how you're doing? And how is your child that was run over by a car? Haven't seen any postings about it so hope everything is okay. Just dealing with Renee's passing is awful and then having that happen had to be so hard. I've been thinking about you so hope you let us know. "Carole"
Joined: Oct 2010
okays
Been a tough 8 weeks... don't have much energy... was so focused on renee that when it ended, I've even forgot how to work...but my kids are doing well with the exception of there despondent father..... one day at a time.
Joined: Jun 2011
So very very sorry to hear
So very very sorry to hear of your dear courageous wife passing, reading her posts always gave me such hope... hoping for peace for you and the children.
Sincerely
Teresa
Joined: Jan 2011
What a horrible time for you.
I just read the story about your daughter. What a cutie she is. I can only imagine how thankful you are Paul that she wasn't hurt.
I hope things are a bit brighter in your home now as you all adjust to the passing of your dear wife and mother. Diane
Joined: May 2010
My first thought was mama
My first thought was mama was holding the car up! I am so glad you sweet daughter is okay.
Joined: Oct 2010
Memorial DVD
Below is a youtube link to the DVD that was generously created by coworkers. The songs (save the last one) are songs that Renee had on her "beat cancer" cd that she played daily as a reminder to always fight the beast of cancer. The quotes on the bottom are ones randomly pulled by the producer from facebook... and from our very own Glenna from this site! :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_FlIOKGjkg
Ben
Joined: Jan 2011
A Precious Gift.
I feel as though I have just been given a beautiful gift.....I got to watch Renee's video.
It is awesome and what a wonderful thing for you and the kids to have Ben.
Thanks for posting this. Diane
Joined: May 2009
I just watched the video and
I just watched the video and I can't think of a more beautiful tribute to Renee. You could feel the love she had for her family in each of the pictures.
So thankful that your daughter wasn't hurt, I can't imagine the terror you must have been feeling. Her mother was truly watching over her!!
My best to you and your children,
Glenna
Joined: Mar 2011
Sharing
Thank you and renee for generously sharing your experiences. It has taught many of us a great deal.
Joined: Sep 2011
So sorry
I am so sorry to hear about your wife, she seemed like such an amazing person from everything I've read here. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family I will keep you all in my thoughts.
Joined: Sep 2011
I'm so sorry
Paul, I don't post much, but have followed your and Renee's story closely as it resembles mine and my husband's (he's the one with cancer). I'm so sorry. Your love and devotion is evident in every post, and her love and devotion is evident in that lovely gift of a note that she left.
Joined: Sep 2010
so sorry
I haven't been on this site in weeks, I really don't come here anymore (my husband died 8 months ago). I am sorry to hear of your wife's passing. I wish you and your family peace and comfort.
Karen
Joined: Aug 2010
Merry Christmas
Paul,
I know this is going to be a hard Christmas for you since your wife hasn't been gone that long. But I know all our loved ones would want us to be happy and think of the happy memories that we shared together. It's not easy though. This is my second Christmas without my husband and I'm trying to get through it again, but will be glad when it's all over. When we've had such a great relationship with our spouses, it's hard to go on without them but we have no choice. I hope you have children & relatives who can help you get through these next days. Be strong Paul & know that we're all feeling the same but we'll make it. Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!! "Carole"
Joined: Mar 2011
Paul
So sorry for your lose!
Take care of yourself!
~Kelly
wife of Mark Scoville nsclc stage IV with mets, RIP 11-14-11.
Joined: Jul 2011
Thinking of you and your family today
Hello...I am thinking of you and your family today. Im sure you can immerse yourself in all your wonderful memories.Look at your children and smile...
Take Care,Kado.
Joined: Jun 2010
Crazy World
Yes this is a rough situation, I have stage IV LC, doing OK now besides a brain met that they will gamma kife soon, but my Dad died a coupe months back, stage IV Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma (6 yr battle, mostly OK, but deteriated within weeks at the end). Best wishes to you.
Thanx
Dave
Joined: Oct 2010
dave
U r a rockstar...... know that u have helped so many people... including me with your past posts!
Joined: Nov 2010
Sorry for your loss
NayPaul,
I haven't logged into this forum for months due to my busy life. However, I am sadden to read this thread. Your wife was a very strong and brave woman. My prayers and condolences goes out to you and your family.
Joined: Jul 2011
Hugs to you
I know from reading all your posts that you loved your wife deeply. I know she will be missed, but she left this world knowing a wonderful person - you! I hope you find comfort in knowing that you left an impression not just on Renee, but on all of the people searching this board for comfort and support. You helped not just Renee, but all of us. She was a lucky woman. Hugs to you.