It happened so fast... Renee has passed

NayPaul
NayPaul Member Posts: 230
Thank you all for helping me with this journey. My wife Renee (Nay)died in her sleep last night. Luckily we had told our four children that while we hoped to stave off death, that things could unravel. Unfortunately my wife thought she had a few months left. The doctors were stunned she went so fast. But I knew last night she was nearing the end. Even I though was surprised to wake up in the middle of the night and not hear her familiar breathing. Oh God what a day this has been!THere is only one thing worse than telling four young children that their mom does not have long to live... and that is that their mom is dead.

Below is somthing I found on her nightstand that she recently wrote:

UNLUCKY(with a strikethru on the UN)

When I was first diagnosed with lung cancer, I asked why? What did I do? The people in white lab coats with concerned smiles and sympathetic smiles said, “We don’t know, you were just unlucky.”

When faced with a disease that will certainly take your life much younger than you ever imagined, “unlucky” seems such an inappropriate word.

If I write a book, it will be called, UNLUCKY(Strikethru on the UN). One thing my journey with cancer has taught me is how lucky I am.

I married my best friend thirteen years ago, and he has made all this bearable. His strength and love is one of my greatest blessings. My beautiful children are each unique and a blessing in every way. Friends and family have stepped up and helped with meals, money, prayers and love. I have three degrees, have traveled to Europe, the Bahamas, Alaska, Australia and much of the US. I have never been hungry or without a home. My church family is extremely caring and a true model of God’s love.

In my book I will CHOOSE to focus on the lucky. My time is full of joy and love.

- Renee (NAY) Lampman

Thank you everybody. And thank my good fortune(yes, I am an athesist)to have had my wife.

Ben PAUL Lampman
«13

Comments

  • I am so very sorry for your loss
    Renee's last message tells me that she was a courageous woman and such loving mom and wife. I admire her for her strength in fighting this awful disease. Instead of feeling sorry for herself, she was actually grateful for what she had. She makes me realize how much I have to be thankful for despite having lost mom last year and now dad battling lung cancer. Thank you Paul and Renee for sharing your story.

    nix
  • soccerfreaks
    soccerfreaks Member Posts: 2,788
    Paul
    I can only reiterate the words of myparentsdaughter: so very sorry for your loss. You are grieving, I know, but there is some comfort in seeing that you understand already that there was a message for you in your wife's note as well: you were lucky to have her.

    I wish you and your family the best through this time of great emotional upheaval. This community remains here for you whenever you need to 'talk'.

    Take care,

    Joe
  • Glenna M
    Glenna M Member Posts: 1,576
    I'm at a loss for words but
    I'm at a loss for words but would like to offer my sincerest sympathy at this tragic time. I have followed your wife's story and was always amazed at her strength and determination. After reading several of your posts I began to realize that she got some of that from you as you were fighting this battle with her.

    Her note was inspirational, as was everything she did.

    Stay strong and cherish the memories you two made and the four wonderful children you have.

    Glenna
  • Ex_Rock_n_Roller
    Ex_Rock_n_Roller Member Posts: 281
    This is a heavy blow to bear
    What a great lady, whose words are an inspiration to us all. No need for the "I am an atheist" disclaimer; you are a human being like the rest of us, who obviously has his head and heart in the right place. Watch over those kids, and keep the stories of their mom alive.

    All strength to you, sir.

    Steve
  • lekkerone
    lekkerone Member Posts: 199
    Oh No
    Paul I have followed your journey with your wife and been full of admiration for both of you. I knew she was very ill but still I can't believe she has gone. However, her legacy lives on in your children and in you. Just know Paul that you fought hard with her and did the best you could have done.
    Renee was so grateful for her life and I know you were too.
    Please accept my sympathy and I hope you will come back and let us know how you and the children are doing.
    May she rest in peace after a well fought battle..........Diane
  • z
    z Member Posts: 1,411 Member
    NayPaul
    I am so sorry for the passing of your wife. Everytime I read your post I could feel the love for your wife. Your wife has written a beautiful letter, and it shows how happy she was with her life. I hope for your familys healing. Lori
  • mamacita5
    mamacita5 Member Posts: 254
    z said:

    NayPaul
    I am so sorry for the passing of your wife. Everytime I read your post I could feel the love for your wife. Your wife has written a beautiful letter, and it shows how happy she was with her life. I hope for your familys healing. Lori

    My heart breaks for you and
    My heart breaks for you and your children. What a wonderful gift your dear wife Renee left for you on her nightstand. I considered every victory Renee had as a victory for the rest of us as well. I admired her strength and determination and gained strength and determination for myself through her. Stay strong Paul, and know that you were loved.
  • kado4
    kado4 Member Posts: 80
    I am very sorry for your loss.
    Hello....I am sorry to hear of your wife's passing.I am sure at this time you are grieving her loss, but I am most sure that you will celebrate her life and the wonderful wife and mother she had the opportunity to be.This moment in time is but a glimpse of her life.The way I have noticed you speak of her in the few months I have been on this board,I can tell you have loved her dearly and she you...

    I will pray that you find peace as well as your children in their time of sorrow.Just remember, she is still and forever will be in your heart.

    Sincerely, Cathy(kado)
  • grannylove
    grannylove Member Posts: 183
    So very very sorry to hear....
    that Renee has passed. She indeed was an incredibly strong woman with such a zest for life. I was always in awe of her determination. My heartfelt sympathies to you Paul and your children. Your loss is great. Know we are here for you. Cheryl
  • I am at a loss of words
    She was an amazing woman and mother! She amazed me on her walks alone and I would look at my Mom and say wow how did she do that?
    Cherish the LOVE and JOY you both had and share it with your beautiful children, you had something real special that a lot of Americans here take for granted!

    God Bless Paul
    My thoughts are with you and your family
    Lorraine
  • AlanRinHBG
    AlanRinHBG Member Posts: 121

    I am at a loss of words
    She was an amazing woman and mother! She amazed me on her walks alone and I would look at my Mom and say wow how did she do that?
    Cherish the LOVE and JOY you both had and share it with your beautiful children, you had something real special that a lot of Americans here take for granted!

    God Bless Paul
    My thoughts are with you and your family
    Lorraine

    So sorry ,Paul
    I always looked forward to your posts and hope you stop by when you want to.
    What a beautiful sentiment she left for you. Take care of yourself and the kids.
  • catcon49
    catcon49 Member Posts: 398

    So sorry ,Paul
    I always looked forward to your posts and hope you stop by when you want to.
    What a beautiful sentiment she left for you. Take care of yourself and the kids.

    Paul
    I am also sorry, athough that doesn't seem like enough to say. I wish I had something magical or profound to say that could take the pain away for you and your children. But I don't. I wish your wife had been able to write her book. I would have loved to read it. Best to you and your children. Take care.

    cathy
  • 3Mana
    3Mana Member Posts: 811
    She was so strong!
    Paul, I'm so sorry to hear of your wife's passing. She fought & sounded like such a wonderful lady. I always question why God always takes such sweet people who have so much to offer. But guess we can't question can we?
    Please be strong. This site has been such a support to me when my husband was sick for the short time. I still keep coming back to check on people I've gotten to know.
    "Carole"
  • JackieA
    JackieA Member Posts: 150
    Paul
    My heart goes out to you and your family. Sending much prayers on your behalf. Sending my condolences. jackie
  • dennycee
    dennycee Member Posts: 842
    The two of you shared a love
    The two of you shared a love that many only dream of. So sorry for your loss.
  • Dan620
    Dan620 Member Posts: 220
    So Sorry
    NayPaul, What a inspiration your wife and you were to so many of us, it is just so heartbreaking to hear this sad news. So sorry for your loss..... Take care ...... Dan
  • granny maggie
    granny maggie Member Posts: 15
    Such a great loss
    Paul I;m so sorry to hear about Renee. We are here for you always ,as you have been for alot of us. Hopefully she is resting in peace and pain free. My love goes out to the kids and please keep us informed how you all are doing.
  • NayPaul
    NayPaul Member Posts: 230

    Such a great loss
    Paul I;m so sorry to hear about Renee. We are here for you always ,as you have been for alot of us. Hopefully she is resting in peace and pain free. My love goes out to the kids and please keep us informed how you all are doing.

    can u believe
    Thanks everyone..... it has bbeen a tough weekend...... and although it ended well.... wwe had a second shoccker this weekend. My six year was ran oer by a car this weekend.... ill post a link to the news story

    http://www.wowt.com/mobi/news?storyid=134993898

    :)
  • medi_2
    medi_2 Member Posts: 505
    NayPaul said:

    can u believe
    Thanks everyone..... it has bbeen a tough weekend...... and although it ended well.... wwe had a second shoccker this weekend. My six year was ran oer by a car this weekend.... ill post a link to the news story

    http://www.wowt.com/mobi/news?storyid=134993898

    :)

    so sorry
    Renee wrote the first chapter; perhaps you can finish it for her and your children. My deepest condolences.
    medi
  • trspaw
    trspaw Member Posts: 73
    So very very sorry to hear
    So very very sorry to hear of your dear courageous wife passing, reading her posts always gave me such hope... hoping for peace for you and the children.

    Sincerely
    Teresa