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Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 264
Joined: Sep 2011

My 53 year old husband, Patrick, was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer with mets to the liver in June. I have found this site to be the most helpful and honest about all aspects of living with cancer and decided to join. It would be nice to talk to people and hear down-right truths instead of "he looks so good" today. When I first heard my husband had cancer, and after a good cry, I sort of froze. I was afraid to ask questions and really didn't want to know the answers to be honest. I have toughened up since then and now I am not scared off so easily. I am and will continue to be my husband's biggest ally, and I will try not to be so afraid of the unknown. Thank you for being here and I know now that there is support and a shoulder to cry on if ever needed.
Ellen

ddpekks's picture
ddpekks
Posts: 162
Joined: Sep 2011

When I came here a couple of weeks ago I had no earthly idea how much I DIDN'T know. And, I thought I would really show my "stupid" if I asked questions, but not any more. I am totally amazed at how complex and complicated cancer is and at how many different ways it affects people. I'm no longer afraid to ask anything, because there are some smart people here that are more than willing to share.

Welcome.....and, if you haven't, go visit the caregiver's. What wonderful things they have done for me by letting me know I'm not alone in this battle.

D

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 264
Joined: Sep 2011

that is exactly how I felt...thanks for letting me know that no question is too stupid and that I just have to ask it no matter what! And from reading these boards, I have found so many people are willing to share and that is a huge help and comfort!

Thanks for the warm welcome and give your choc lab a hug for me...we are a golden retriever family and the companionship of a warm, furry, friend, truly helps during this time too!

Ellen C.

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

Hi Ellen

Welcome! We're into golden retrievers as well. Our 1st one made it 13 beautiful years and he died of cancer himself, so sad, but he smiled even in his last hours till close to the end. A quick story, back before I was diagnosed, our golden, Sundance, used to lay his head around the intestinal area for long periods of time just sort of sad.

Would turn out that I had cancer and apparently he knew it long before us or the doctors did. When I got my 2nd recurrence in the liver, he began to lay his head in a funny position around my liver. I used to joke with me and say, "Sundance, does your papa have cancer again?"

Turns out I sure did - true stories. He was way ahead of his, my Sundance was. A faithful friend and companion.

We went 2 years before we could think about another one. We ended up getting another puppy about the time I got my 3rd recurrence. I was sick all of last year (he's about 21 months now) and we lost alot of time and he needs some guidance that I hope to provide him if I can stay better.

Did you ever see "Marley and Me?" Well, his name is Harley and he IS Marley all over:) This guy takes advantage of any mistake you make. Loves socks, shoes, underwear, toilet paper rolls, envelopes, remote controls, you name it. And he's so fast and quick, but I'm still smarter, LOL!

They are great dogs and our old Sunny actually understood sentences, I almost expected him to talk to me one day, he was that smart. Harley likes to sit and watch TV with me sometime. He loves animal shows, but has watched some baseball games with me and seems to 'get' something. It's funny watching his eyes.

A couple of weeks ago, we were watching where the dogs do the long jump in the water to see how far they go? He really perked up for that one and began barking and running up to the tv set. Too funny:)

I won't bore you with my cancer story other than to say I've had cancer 3x - beaten it 3 times and am 7.4 years out of diagnosis and still around. I'm sure we'll talk more as time goes by.

Best of luck!

-Craig

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 264
Joined: Sep 2011

Your post made was my "good feeling" for the day! I have heard of dogs being able to detect cancer. Your Sundance must have known something was not quite right. It's amazing what dogs smell or even sense. I believe your good dog was trying to tell you something.

The author of Marley and Me was a columnist for our local Philadelphia newspaper. He use to write about Marley all the time. I even remember his column when Marley passed. So, I read the book and saw the movie. Marley wasn't bad...just misguided...lol. Harley sounds like a typical golden puppy...not happy unless they have a prize in their mouth.

My last two goldens were 8 and 13 when they passed away...both from cancer. Both of them were total loves and the only problem of the day was where they would nap. Now we have a 6 year old golden that we adopted when she was 13 months. Abby lived in 3 homes within her 1st year, big scar on her snout, and a little anti-social when she came to live with us. How she has blossomed over the years. Unlike my last goldens, she wants to go, go, go! Tennis ball will travel! I also watched the Purina water jump a few weeks ago and I thought, if I threw a tennis ball, Abby would jump that far too! She adores my husband and I think she knows he is sick. She always wants a cuddle or pet and is more than happy to wash his face whenever necessary.

Craig, believe me, hearing your cancer story would not bore me. My husband was just diagnosed in June and we would like to hear how people fought their way through. I hope we talk more...thanks so much!

Ellen

keystone's picture
keystone
Posts: 134
Joined: Dec 2010

I am also the spouse. My husband was diagnosed in December of 2010 with stage III rectal. I was the same way, didn't really want to know the truth, I'm a little better now. There are such good and helpful people here. Really hate that you have to join us but you have found an excellent source of resources and people to lean on going through the same thing. Stephanie

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 264
Joined: Sep 2011

I am so glad to know that I am not alone with these feelings I am having. I have already found new inspiration from these posts!

Ellen C.

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6477
Joined: Feb 2009

So sorry that you had to join us but glad that you found this site. You can ask away at any questions and someone will be here to help you. This is a scary journey and you only need to ask and we will be here. Hoping that your journey with husband is with us.

Kim

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 264
Joined: Sep 2011

but I will be sure to ask questions as the going gets tougher...thanks so much Kim!

tko683
Posts: 265
Joined: Aug 2011

I am also the spouse here. My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 rectal cancer in June of this year. He is now 52. He is currently getting chemotherapy, FOLFOX with Avastin. His next step is liver surgery after 2 more cycles of chemo. How is your husband doing? Sending prayers to you both. Teri

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 264
Joined: Sep 2011

My husband has 5 more cycles of chemo and then the surgeon will let us know the next step. Totally in the dark about what kind of procedure will be done...I guess we will find out in time. My husband has good & bad days...hasn't been able to work because of pain (he has a stent)and radiation hit him hard, but he is hoping one day to be able to go back to work. Trying to figure out health insurance, Cobra, SSDI, which really stinks because time could be spent in such better ways.

Thanks for you prayers Teri!

marqimark's picture
marqimark
Posts: 242
Joined: Jun 2011

Welcome

Sorry you had to search out this site

Hugs

mark

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 264
Joined: Sep 2011

right back at you! Thanks for the welcome Mark!

Ellen C.

John23's picture
John23
Posts: 2140
Joined: Jan 2007

I'm also the spouse..... I'm the spouse of the 'caregiver"!

Things will be rough at times, since the only one actually facing
death, is the only one that truly knows what that feeling is like.

There will be times that nothing you say will be sufficient or
comforting in any way, shape, or manner. And you may find
that just a long, long hug and affection, is all that's needed to
bring your spouse from the depths of hell, to a sense of life again.

It's going to be a rocky road for you Ellen, but you can make it
if you try. There are no guarantees of life, just guarantees of love,
if and when you guarantee it.

Live for the today, pray for the tomorrow, and be thankful for
every yesterday.

May be there many, many more "yesterdays".

John

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 264
Joined: Sep 2011

I had cried myself out...I read your post and here come the tears again. Thank you John, sometimes this is just what I need to hear. Bless you!

Ellen C.

buckeye2
Posts: 428
Joined: Jul 2011

I am glad you decided to post. I think posting can be very intimidating. You don't know your audience and can't gauge their reaction to your words. It is easier to stalk the boards rather than participate but I think there is value to including yourself into the process. Getting to know the cast of characters and having them get to know you will give you a a sense of belonging during a lonely time. Lisa

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 264
Joined: Sep 2011

for a month before I got the courage up to join. I have definitely learned much more than I ever expected. And to get such a warm welcome, was a relief and a blessing.

Thank you Lisa!

Ellen C.

alexinlv's picture
alexinlv
Posts: 194
Joined: Jul 2010

My husband was just diagnosed stage iv. He is 46 I stalked mostly while he was stage 3 but now I need this family more than ever. (like right now at 6am when i should be asleep and cant sleep!) I need to hear the truths too and everyone is so willing to support eachother. take care, Alex

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 264
Joined: Sep 2011

for all the support and knowing that when I am up in the middle of the night, I am not alone and have a place to turn. Please stay in touch and let me know how you husband is doing.

Ellen C.

cynthiapi40
Posts: 36
Joined: Sep 2011

Hi alexinlv,

This is my first post, here goes.

My husband was diagnosed in Aug of this year. He is 46 also. I have had many sleepless nights. This is all so new to me. Sometimes I still can't believe it. He had his second round of chemo last Monday. So far he has done really well. We are meeting with his oncologist on next Monday to see if the treatment is working for him. The truth is hard to hear but know that I have cried and gotten some of my frustration out. I am ready to deal with what ever is next. For now, it is a roller coaster no doubt. My main goal is to be there for my husband in anyway I can. I do understand he is the one who is going through this, and I have to let him take the lead, so I'm not over baring. I love him so much and can't imagine being with out him. I pray for you and your family.

buckeye2
Posts: 428
Joined: Jul 2011

Just wanted to congratulate you on your first post. We hope to hear more from you, especially the good news. Lisa

alexinlv's picture
alexinlv
Posts: 194
Joined: Jul 2010

thank you. yep it's such a crazy state to be in. I am trying to be strong and just want to be by his side. I feel so sad for him and it tears me up to see him suffer. he just finished his first round out of 4. it is such a roller coaster of emotions. today I feel
flat, dull, like I want to cry but I can't. frozen.

cynthiapi40
Posts: 36
Joined: Sep 2011

Hi everyone,

This is my second post. I find that when I am having a bad day. I can come and read all of your post and find something positive.

My husband goes for his 3rd treatment on Monday and he will also get a scan. He has done very well with the first 2 treatments. He is currently on Avastin,5 fu, leucovrin and Oxaliplatin. He wears the pump home and gets it taken down on Wednesday's. He treatment is every two weeks.

pete43lost_at_sea's picture
pete43lost_at_sea
Posts: 3908
Joined: Nov 2010

dear ellen,
sorry you had to find us, we are a lovedlly group from all over the world.
cry away when you need to, you will have lots of lovelly moments ahead, try to share them with us.
hugs,
pete

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 264
Joined: Sep 2011

I can't tell you and everyone else how uplifted these comments have made me feel today. It has helped immensely and I'm off to have a good day...and get my husband up and about!

Ellen C.

judman92
Posts: 31
Joined: Jul 2011

I just diagnosed in June this year I also have stage 4 with mets on my liver. I have been very lucky and have little side effects from the chemo. Although, the emotional ride has been a different story. Although I know the emotions are completely normal it's still strange when I cry in public. Please keep us updated on how your husband is doing and we will continue to support you.

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 264
Joined: Sep 2011

My husband was diagnosed in June also. He went to the doctor because he thought he pulled a groin muscle (he drives a truck and does heavy lifting) so aches and pains are the norm. Anyway, what we thought was a muscle pull was the tumor pressing on the colon. How fast things can change in the matter of a day. So far, he has had little side effects from the chemo. It was the radiation (ended Aug 3rd) that hit him hard. Please, keep me updated on how your treatments are going and how you are doing! Thanks so much!

Ellen C.

laurettas
Posts: 372
Joined: May 2011

My husband was diagnosed in April with stage four CRC after thinking he had twisted his colon while doing some difficult house remodeling in the attic! Such a shock isn't it? This is our second time with a cancer diagnosis, Jake had Hodgkin's disease when he was 24 and went through ten months of chemo. This treatment is much easier to tolerate even though he is older, thank goodness. Hope all goes well for you. We are waiting for a scan on Monday to see how things are going.

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 264
Joined: Sep 2011

and yes, it was a total shock! My husband took the pain in stride because he always has some kind of ache almost everyday. Please let me know how Jake's scan went last Monday...hope all went well.

judman92
Posts: 31
Joined: Jul 2011

My treatments are going well I have been through half of them. I am not currently doing any radiation and I have had minimal side effects. I just had a petscan and my liver tumors have shrunk 30 to 40% and my cancer marker went from over 600 to 56 this past week. Talk about having a great week after hearing that news. I hope your husbands treatment continue to have few side effects for him. My biggest thing is cold drinks and due to the effects of the chemo I have to drink everything at room temperature until about a week after my 5FU pump comes off. Thanks for the response and i will pray for your husband.

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 264
Joined: Sep 2011

so glad to hear good news...it makes my day. Yesterday, my husband started getting tingling in his hands and he also leaves his drinks to warm to room temp. Wears a glove to get anything out of the fridge or freezer. Lately, he has been feeling a lot of pain in his groin so the doc is sending him for a MRI of the pelvis and abdomen next week. Thanks so much for the prayers and take care!

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

I'm sorry you have a need for us, but so glad you found us and are ready to participate. A few things to remember: No question is a stupid question. You can vent here when you need to let it all out. None of us are medical professionals, and what we share is what we've learned from our own journeys. Overall this is a supportive group. Your husband's experiences may be similar to ours or not.

It is safest to not get too heavy into politics or religion here, but stick to subjects closely tied to colorectal cancer - save yourself a lot of drama!

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 264
Joined: Sep 2011

and no drama! Thanks for your words of advice and support, I really appreciate it!

Ellen C.

Buckwirth's picture
Buckwirth
Posts: 1272
Joined: Jun 2010

That can't be helped, it's just better if the drama we have is related to CRC.

For religious drama, the board has a forum on spirituality, and for political drama, well there are dozens of boards dedicated to that form of theater, so choose your own poison.

:-)

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Hi, Ellen!

I'm glad you've joined us, although I wish with all my heart that you had no need (or any of us!). Hopefully we can help make the process a little easier.

*hugs*
Gail

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 264
Joined: Sep 2011

more than I can say...thank you Gail!

Ellen C.

annallen
Posts: 7
Joined: Sep 2011

I'm new too and finding great information. Thank you all!

Sandi1's picture
Sandi1
Posts: 278
Joined: Aug 2008

Hello, I am my husband's caregiver, my husband was 46 when he was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer with mets to the liver and lungs. I just want to tell you - that even though you are scared now, it does get better. You learn about the things you need to know. I am normally a very quiet and passive person, but seeing my husband in pain made me gather my courage up and ask questions. I want to give him the best chance of survival that I can. My husband is now 49 and is currently cancer free. He is still on chemo once every three weeks and will continue to be on it for the rest of his life. This is only a precaution as colon cancer is aggressive and his oncologist does not want it to return. We continue to plan our future together and decide what we will do during our retirement - I always tell him I don't care, as long as I'm with you. If you have any questions, what so ever please send me a message and I will try to answer what I can for you. My husband did have colon resection surgery, following by 12 treatments of aggressive chemo and that was 3 years ago. Good Luck, message me if you have questions.
Sandi

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 264
Joined: Sep 2011

I would like to message you but I am not sure how to do that...could you let me know what I have to do!

Thanks,

Ellen

lesvanb's picture
lesvanb
Posts: 911
Joined: May 2008

Glad that you found us and sorry you had to join our club. But we're friendly folk and it is great to have a support team who "gets it". You can click on my photo to read my story - also stage 4.

all the best, Leslie

idlehunters's picture
idlehunters
Posts: 1792
Joined: Apr 2009

Another belated welcome!! I have been away from the boards for a few days. It seems everybody already said what I wanted to say so I will just say "hey" for now. I am stage IV and dealing with a recurrance right now but all is going good. Take care.

Jennie

pepebcn's picture
pepebcn
Posts: 6352
Joined: Aug 2010

you may need this I'd a very helpful family, your new cyberfamily!
Hugs!

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 264
Joined: Sep 2011

and how it has already helped me these last few weeks. Thanks pepebcn!

Hugs back,

Ellen C.

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 264
Joined: Sep 2011

thanks for the welcome! What a bunch of great people on this board...it is appreciated so much!

Ellen C.

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 264
Joined: Sep 2011

absolutely... I find that it helps to read and talk to people that "get it"...and thankful too! I read your story and it amazed me. My husband and I are still on chapter 1 of his story but we will continue to fight on!

Thank you and take care,

Ellen C.

jjaj133's picture
jjaj133
Posts: 869
Joined: Mar 2011

Hi Ellen, sorry you are here, but glad you found us.
I am stag4, 3 surgerys and am currently NED I am 1/2 way through my chemo, (xeloda pills ony this time) and doin great. I also plan to live til i am 82. So hang on, we are all here for the good news and if there are bumpy times, we are here for that too.
big hugs, to you and hubby,
Judy

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 264
Joined: Sep 2011

To show you what a "newbie" I am...a couple of weeks ago, I had to look up the definition of NED. Praying that my husband and I hear those 3 little letters one day! Good to know that there are so many helping hands out there for those bumpy rides!

PS...that sweet puppy face is too cute for words!

Ellen C.

Sandi1's picture
Sandi1
Posts: 278
Joined: Aug 2008

Hi Judy, your Bichon is absolutely beautiful. How old? Mine is 4 years - perfect little puppies and way to smart for their own good.

Beautiful Puppy - what's her name?

Sandi

pscott1
Posts: 207
Joined: Jan 2011

I was diagnosed January of this year; Stage II Colon Cancer then in March found out I had mets to the liver...now am also Stage IV. I have approx 30 lesions in my liver so I am told I'll be on chemo for life unless there is a cure or a much more effective tool that can kill the lesions instead of just shrink them. This board has been a life saver for me from the get-go. Wonderful, knowledgable and honest people. I'd rather hear the truth about this disease and what it does to you than have it sugar coated. Did 7 treatments of Folfox w/Avastin and now have done 2 treatments of maintenance chemo (Avastin only). I won't lie to you....there are days I feel almost like my "old self" and then there are days I feel like I won't be around to see my kids grow up. The thought of that almost could kill me before the cancer does. I come to this board for comfort, to vent, to hear what everyone else is dealing with to learn coping skills to manage my fears. I've gone thru the denial stage, depressed stage, hopeful stage and right now I'm in kind of a funk. Every day is an event. The key is to never give up....there are days we may feel like that is the only choice but when I look into my 3 girls eyes....I throw that thought right out of my mind. I will fight this battle to the dying end. If it's my time and I have run out of options...so be it. But until then, I'll be coming here getting my 'fix' to continue to beat this thing. I'm glad you're here; probably not the group everyone would want to belong to, but it's the best out there considering what it involves. At least that's my opinion.

Take care and best of luck,

Pam

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